my parents are forcing me to break up with my boyfriend...read details...?

Question

im 19 yrs old and going out with my bf for almost 2 yrs. we love each other very much and i dont see my life in the future without him. last nite my parents approached me telling me that they have been getting fone calls about my bf;s behavior, that he has a temper and stuff and they do not want me going out with him anymore, and they want me to break up with him as a test to see how he would react, they say i deserve better they say that hes not the kind of guy i want to be with in my life. they r wrong, i dont know wut to do, they say they will do it for me if i feel that i am not strong enough to do it myself. I am miserable. i dont know wut to do when i speak to my bf tonite. i love him. this will destroy him especially when nothing happened that he would be expecting it. i cant do this to him to hurt someone who loves me. im stuck i feel that the only way out is for me to die. i dont want to. obvisouly i dont know wut to do i need help- they say that if i stay in the rltnship...

that 5 yrs down the road i will be hurt. i dont know wut to do, i cant do this to him, and its way worse if my parents do it! ive been crying the whole day worrying about wut i do when i speak to him- i dont know wut to do we havent fought in months, things have been amazing i love him so much and i cant lose him, but this will destroy him- and make him hate my parents and evrything

Answer 1

NI AM SORRY FOR YOU,YOUR BF,AND YOUR PARENTS.MY DEAR IF I WAS YOU I WOULD NOT BROKE UP WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU ARE 19 YEARS OF AGE AND OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISION.IF HE AS A BAD BEHAVIOR AND TEMPER WHICH HE CAN`T CONTROLL YOU MUST SEE IT FOR YOURSELF AND LEARN FROM YOUR OWN MISTAKES.

Answer 2

Okay if your going to be seeing him tonight, tell him what your parents plan on doing and that they are trying to break you guys up. If he hasn't hit you at all then I don;t understand why they would want to break you up.

Guys get mad over things and have a temper just as long as it's not towards women that they take their agression out on. If you love him then that's all that should matter.

Your Parents are your Parents they will always look out for you because that's what parents do, even if it's not always in your intrest. Explain to them, that you've been dating this guy for a longtime and that you love him. Tell them that you want to be happy and breaking up with him will only make you depressed and lonely. It sounds like everything's okay. He doesn't sound abusive otherwise you would have explain that in your question.


I would tell your boyfriend what's going on and maybe you all can sit down and talk about what's been going on. If all of you have a dicussion about his temper then that can clear things up. Maybe he is going through tough times in his life. Talk about it and see where it goes from there.

Answer 3

That is a tough one, your in a sticky wicky situation. I am curious to know if your parents have recorded any conversation between your boyfriend and your parents? Ask for proof, if they can't provide proof, then that tells me they are trying to decide who you should date instead of your own decision. They definitely don't like him for what ever reason. I would recommend to have a background check on your boyfriend through police to be sure you are not dating a wrong guy. Better safe than sorry. However, are you still living with your parents? If you are, I suggest you should move out, your old enough to be on your own now, you are an legal adult now.

Answer 4

Sounds like a lot of stress. The one thing that needs to be emphasized here is the fact that you are 19 years old, not 14. While your parents are allowed to have an opinion, they can't control who you're going to date. They lost the ability to have full control over you when you turned 18.

You need to do what you feel is right. Have a talk with your parents and make it clear to them that while you understand they're doing this out of love and concern for you, they can NOT do this to you. Tell them they're free to have an opinion and air their concerns, but tell them they can't force you to do anything you don't want to do. If he hasn't displayed this behaviour to your recollection, then there's no reasoning as to why you two shouldn't be together.

In the end, you're the one who's dating him, not your parents. It seems to me that you truly care about him, but you need to ask your parents this: who's calling your parents? What did they say about your boyfriend word-for-word? You need to investigate further into the alleged behaviour before you make any decisions.

It's your relationship, and it's your life. You're not a little girl, and you can't be forced into ending your happiness.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Have you tried to listen to your parent's reason to why they want you to break up with your boyfriend? Have you also tried talking to them about how you feel about what they are wanting you to do and also given them reasons as to why you want to stay with your boyfriend? Have your parent's meet your boyfriend? If they have not meet him then now would be a good time. You could also let your parent's know that your boyfriend has not been violent with you at all. I would like to hear your parent's side of this also. Is the true issue about sex, are your parent's afraid you and your boyfriend are having sex? Have you you given your parent's a reason to question your honesty such as where you are going and what you are doing once you get there? I know from expereinence that the last thing you should do is lie to your parent's, trusting someone is a diffcult thing to gain again if they catch you lying to them.

Answer 6

Where did your parents hear about the temper thing? if he is not hurting you then be strong your a grown women now your 19 and its your choice of who you want to date your parents can have opinions but no one should be forcing you or making you feel like you want to die so there are options stand up for yourself if this guy does have a temper then I agree leave if not then talk to your parents and tell them you are a grown person and deserve respect too good luck to you and stay alive HUGS

Answer 7

Its your life and no one can tell you what to do. But, think about it, Is there any truth in what your parents are saying? If we make big mistake in life, we cannot take them back but can learn from them. Some mistakes like having kids at your age may be too hard to bear, just be careful for now.

Answer 8

well if he has a temper then u could get hurt even get abused in the future so find out from his parents if he rely has a temper and if he does brake up with him immediately if he does not have a temper then tell your parents that and stay with him i hope i helped

Answer 9

secretly tell your boyfrined the situation with your parents and tell him that you dont want to do it but you have to make your parents think you did.but make sure you dont do anything stupid.and when your parents think you did it get your boyfriend to send you flowers or something showing your parents a good side of your bf,then your parents will know that you really care about each other.

Answer 10

I understand you. This is dificult for you but remember that your parents allways have done what is best for you. They don't want to hurt you. Try trusting them in this. You can stop the relationship for a while and make your own investigation...All my friends that didn't listen to their parents have terrible marriages and some ended in terrible divorces and hurting their own family.I think that one mesure for you that a relationship is worthy is your parents opinion. Again, they want whats best for you...