A couple of weeks ago out of the blue, my boyfriend brought up the subject of marriage. He caught me completely off guard because we had never talked about it before. I was so stunned that i didn;t know what to say. He took that as a sign that I wouldn't want to marry him. Last night he said something about it again. I don;t want him to feel like i don't want to get married to him, because that is not the case. How to i bring up the subject again? Any suggestions would help.
2006-12-02 09:01:56 · 13 answers · asked by omarion's mommy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let me add again, the subject of marriage was never discussed. He just ask me out of the blue. When you want to do something that will result with you spending the rest of your life with a person, details need to be discussed, its not something to be taken lightly. Also, we are both 27 and just had a baby 6 weeks ago.
2006-12-02 09:17:51 · update #1
Bring it up again, simple. start out by saying " the other night when you were talking about............
Wow girl, good for you!!! you didnot say how old you are(maybe that could be the reason) but I admire that. In this day and age where women are literally dragging the men down the altar, I really have to commend you on that one.
2006-12-02 09:06:35 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about things you wish to accomplish "before getting married". Talk about things like geography (where you want to live), kids, religion, investments, education/degrees, families and who's to visit on the holidays, talk about your definitions of infidelity and inappropriate relationships, talk about your position on divorce, politics, and other controversial issues. You don't have to agree on everything but you at least should have an understanding. www.drphil.com has a pre-marital checklist of things to ask yourselves, and see if you are ready to be married. Marriage doesn't come with an owner's manual, but issues do come up that you will have to deal with. You constantly have to negotiate and renegotiate, compromise and discuss. You can't change each other, ever. www.tickle.com has lots of tests online to see if you are ready for marriage, if you're with the man you want to be with, etc. Go check that stuff out before you approach him. It may help you figure out what you want to say to him or ask him.
Take care!
2006-12-02 17:11:15 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be like awww look at that married couple, do something like casual like that so that he knows that you see marriage in a good light, that will make him more comfortable. I wish you both the best of luck!
Happy Holidays
2006-12-02 17:29:53 · answer #3 · answered by thalia s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should ask yourself why you have had problems answering him. I mean he has brought it up twice. In baseball the next time he brings it up and you don't say anything I know he will think strike three. I'm outta here.
So invite him over for dinner, chill some wine, light some candles and whisper in his ear yes...yes...yes. I wnat to marry you.
2006-12-02 17:08:35 · answer #4 · answered by e_piphany214 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you were pleasantly surprised by the marriage topic. Let him know if you are happy with going that direction in the relationship. This should break the ice.
2006-12-02 17:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by PZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you rele do want to marry the guy then it shouldn't be a big deal to bring it up again. If your having second thoughts then tell him you need some time before you talk about it again. good luck
2006-12-02 17:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by 49er fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that you should ask him why he's bringing up the subject, but not in a way that he thinks you don't want to marry him, but in a way that he's like, " Hey, I think she wants to marry me!" Do it suddely, but in a way that he can tell that you are not just brushing off the idea. I hope God blesses your situation...
2006-12-02 17:06:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say although I don't' want to get married now perhaps in the future I can be and If it works out sure we can be married
2006-12-02 17:03:09 · answer #8 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring it up and discuss it with him intelligently and rationally. Ask him about his position and explain yours. Negotiate a solution, or determine that you can't negotiate a solution. Don't leave it sit out there and fester.
2006-12-02 17:11:19 · answer #9 · answered by Dane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bring it up as a question of intrest
would it not be funny if we were to?
take small steps the top its a fun and interesting road with all sorts of turns good and bad
2006-12-02 17:05:36 · answer #10 · answered by chris m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋