any parents out there please help!!?

Question

i have a young daughter she will be a year old december 12th..lately she has begain to display some horrific behavior when she doesnt get her way she begain to cry then scream to the top of her lung in this high pitch skreetch she bites,hits,kicks ect.i dont know how to react besides to hold n comfort her and give her what she wants..shes terribly spoiled by me and her father..i recently stopped the spoiling and pampering she needs to realize she is not royalty she needs to be treated like any other child in a good solid home..she recieved already 600 dollers worth of b-day and christmas gifts that are under the tree and its still not enough for her..if she see's something in the store she wants its a all out freak show! how can i stop this? how should i disaplin her in these hard times? im starting to think shes learning this behavior from all those silly princess movies she watches..im at wits end here im thinking about going to parenting class to learn to disaplin pls help!

you know you have all been very very helpful! unfortunitly i am a "on edge mom" in other words i have a difficult time hearing my child scream her lungs out..it kills my ears,my patients,ect..sometimes i just feel like running away!!! and never looking back! but i will try all of your techniques..as far as some of you asking why i would spend so much on birthday n xmas well it was 600 dollers in all! her bday is very close to xmas..but she is my only child and the last child i will ever have..it was a miracle i was able to concieve her without help seeming i tried for 2 years to have her..so of course i will spoil her seeming i will only have her and only 1 chance at mommyhood..also some have mencioned feeling like the child and having your kid act the parent YESSS!! THATS HOW IT IS HERE!! im stopping the crazy obsessive spoiling i will still lightly spoil tho lol! now as for her daddy well i dunno if he can..shes a daddys girl and he sips that up! but it takes us both to stop this! TY

Answer 1

I would start in small baby steps, i mean after all you have allowed this behavior and taught her.... "children learn what they live, ( mine were the same way) lol
however, small rewards for good behavior in public is a good start explain as best you can to a one year old, that if she is a "good girl" then you will get her ??? (something small) and if she does not behave the next time you need to go out, then you let her know that she did not behave the last time you allowed her to go, so this time she MUST stay home.... (tough love mommy) lol dont allow me to fool you ITS GONNA BE TOUGH TO WALK OUT OF THE DOOR AND HEAR HER CRY... BUT THE END RESULT WILL BE THE REWARD !! GOOD LUCK TO YOU
HOPE THIS HELPS YOU !!

Answer 2

She has learnt to manipulate you very well, poor little lass. Don't despair but you have a tough road ahead. It's not her fault but it's no good beating yourself up about it. Decide to alter your upbringing of her now. What a temptation to have presents under the tree already. Was Father Christmas early this year? You seem fortunate to be able to have money to indulge your child but why not ask all those kindly relatives to put most of what they would spend into a trust fund for her future - college or even a deposit on her own home one day. But I digress.
Discreetly remove some of those presents little by little. She doesn't need them. You may get a refund or there are plenty of less fortunate who would gladly receive them. You must give your time not gifts. Do things together. Sometimes that may be watching the electronic wallpaper (the TV) together but it can be walking in the park or sharing a book too. Presents are reserved for birthday and Christmas. Can you not recall the deep excitement of waiting for the big day to arrive? So many of us deny our children this today. No one is suggesting that it is going to be easy, there will be times - at least for a while - when her tantrums will embarrass you in public. Gather her in your arms and return home if possible. She will learn that you mean what you say. I wish you and your daughter well. It's hard being a parent.

Answer 3

A class might be very helpful - and you might want to consider watching those movies with her and finding out if they are the cause. There are lots of kids programs out there - and shows like Barney, Sesame Street, Dragon Tales, Jo Jo's Circus, etc. show people treating each other respectfully.

As far as disciplining your child - the sooner you start the better. I am the disciplinarian in my family and we have 2 girls (3 & 6 yrs old). When my kids scream I try to time them out - particularly when they are small you can put them in the crib - and then sit in the room and read a book and ignore the screaming. That's the important thing to do that consistently. You can calmly say "take a deep breath and calm down" while she screams and try to tell her how to calm down, but don't look at her or touch her or give her any attention. When she calms down we can talk or she would just settle down to one of the toys in her crib and forget about the problem if she didn't see it. It's the trying to stop it that seems to be the biggest problem. We have to choose times where we can let them carry on and see that it is ineffectual, then they will stop trying it when they realize they are wasting their time and lungs.

Setting limits is hard for kids - resetting them can be even harder. I find a great reset for my family is a peaceful trip. Drive a couple hours, stay in a hotel with a pool for a couple days and then come home. I would keep her out of any store or anywhere that she could demand something or even see her videos. After 3 days away it is often much easier to start new rules right when you get back.

Honestly, kids will want everything they see - we need to be able to say "maybe santa will get it for you" and then I try to fill the mouth with juce and walk away. It is also best if you can do a few runs to the store where you can really just drop your purchases and go home for naughty behavior. This way you can stay calm and just matter of factly say "rude behavior goes home - period" and start to show her that in her day to day life.

3 is a minimum (3 days, 3 times - 3 seems to be a magic number) but up to 7 maybe required to turn around an ingrained bad habit. You can do it!

Oh, 1 more thing. Try putting olive oil on her skin, on her back all along just below the ribs. That will get essential fatty acids right to the adrenal glands and that can calm a child down magically before your very eyes. I do it after baths to keep the peace, but I would do it as I see cranky coming too.

Peace!

Answer 4

Sounds like a one year old child to me. Spoiled or not. This is the only way for your daughter to act. She can't talk (well she can but you know what I mean" All she can do at this age is act out when she wants her way.
My daughter (15 months old) has decided that banging her head on the floor is a good attention grabber. I just sit back and watch. She can't have her way all the time.
The "money under the tree..." how does a one year old know how much any thing is? She doesn't even know it's a present for her and she won't know that until about 3 yrs old. (I'm not trying to be mean here but come on she's 1. She doesn't know or care about money or how she gets a gift.)
I've included some good links.

HTH

Answer 5

I had a daughter Beth just like yours.She screamed for lollies and presents and it was so embarrasing.My advice is to say no and offer to read to her or take her to see some christmas lights turn on if she does.Offer her little treats which don't have costs but are the little things in life that counts like going to a funfair.Gradually reduce your spoiling until she gets as muc as a normal child,and she wont even notice the reduction.Also you need to discipline your daugter not to hard but firm when she does something wrong.Hope this helps..
PS:To the person that suggested puberty as the problem,that is ridiculous you don't go through puberty at 12 months.You start puberty around 12 years!

Answer 6

Ignore tantrums. Move her to a place where she will not harm herself and let her get it out of her system. You have already spoiled her, so this will be hard to reverse. She is used to getting lots of attention, and she will try to continue getting it by any means possible. Do not comfort her. That's what she's throwing the tantrum for in the first place.
Any attention that you give her will only cause her to continue the bad behavior. Positive OR negative attention.
I used to tell my daughter to go look in the mirror and see how ugly she's being, but she was a little older.

Good luck

Answer 7

When she throws a fit calmly say "Nobody wants to be around you when you act like that, mommy certainly doesn't" and walk away. Ignore her until she behaves.

Then decide whether she should get what she is asking for, and most of the time the answer is probably no. 12 months old is old enough to understand maybe not all your words, but your actions. And your actions tell her throwing a fit doesn't get her anywhere so she won't do it.

All she wants is attention positive or negative. Don't give it to her and the behavior will stop.

Answer 8

This is a crucial point in your parenting and thank goodness you have asked for help. I have raised 3 boys and have always said God knew what he was doing when he didn't give me girls because I would be in the same boat as you. At one she isn't really aware of manipulating you but it will get worse if you don't nip it in the bud. Some kids just like adults have bad tempers and she may always have a temper but teaching her what is acceptable behavior is one of the most important parts of raising a child. Giving in to her will not serve her well in the future. At this age she can easily and safely be contained. When she starts to throw a fit put her in her crib with no toys and let her cry it out. When she calms down give her a hug console her and let her come out of her room. NO TREATS. If she throws a fit in a store pick her up and take her home. If your at dinner pick her up and take her to the car. If you can not stand the screaming put her in her car seat and stand outside the car till she gets quite. She needs to know that screaming is not acceptable, and no one wants to be around her when she is behaving this way. The most important point in discipline is consistency. Happy well adjusted kids are those who know their parents love them enough to teach them what is acceptable and unacceptable.

Answer 9

First, why in the hell would you buy a 1yr old $600.oo worth of anything?
You have layed the foundation for lots of trouble, it may take years to undo.
Take your child to the store, not planning to stay, when she throws a fit tell her to stop or you will leave. When she "acts out"
take her home, if it continues at home put her to bed.
Tell her that when she will behave she can join you
You must do what you say or you have no hope of changing anything
Stop letting her watch T.V. there is no reason on gods green earth for a 1yr old to watch T.V. Read to your child !
Life is hard, if you are going to raise a child prepared for life
sometimes you just have to be a hard a**, this is one of them

Answer 10

you do not say how previous you're Danny nor do all of us understand the finished situations at living house. so that you percentage a room including your 4-3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous sister - I used to percentage a double mattress with 2 youthful cousins. How cruel is that? Stealing is robbery - even if that is a penny or one thousand pounds, one chocolate or a ton of candies. we are not discussing a be counted of degrees the following. I once were given walloped with the aid of a policeman for stealing apples and then yet another from my Dad - i'm no longer effective if that change into for stealing or for paying for stuck. As for being made to eat belongings you probably did not like - how superb to be able to be fussy and characteristic likes and dislikes. it is the reason we've such a range of of overweight young ones lately - because they're allowed to easily eat the failings they prefer and to extra. in case you sense that you're being ill-dealt with then you definately can refer your self to Social amenities - it sounds as although they could have some relatives involvement besides with the help of your brother. yet cheer up - i'm effective that you will be previous adequate to leave living house in many years; then you definately will be able to purchase and eat something you opt for. once you've a job and someplace to stay, that is. Edit - i anticipate that the asterisks on your edit are unacceptable language - that isn't a thanks to bypass about impressing adults. keep in ideas the former saying "once you're contained in the right you have not any opt to lose your mood. once you're contained in the incorrect, you won't be able to arise with the money for to"