I've been going out with this guy for two years and we've been in love, but lately it all crashed when he said he needed space because he felt he didn't want to be with me (sometimes) and that he felt tied down... after that i gave him his space and didn't "tie him down" anymore. But after all of this happened our relationship feels weird. its like we have so much space between us and i feel very distant from him. I feel that im the only one trying, even though he says he is. We barely talk on the fone and it's because of him because he's either asleep or something comes up with his parents or his friends... i feel im not a priority and he says im too dramatic... should i give him a chance to work at it. or not?
2006-12-02 07:58:35 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanx... i think its going to be over very soon
2006-12-02 09:04:49 · update #1
Sweetie, hate to tell you this....the relationship took a turn when he asked for "space". Once he got his request, he began to feel a sense of "freedom"....a chance to do things without you and now that's he's gotten that taste back, he isn't willing to give it up so easily. You need to start doing things on your own, maybe go out with your friends....don't make yourself so "available" to your guy; once he begins to realize that you're living your life too, he just might begin to rethink what he truly wants. Don't completely close the door on him unless you are ready to move on without him.
2006-12-02 08:14:26 · answer #1 · answered by AngelEyes In SF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to be chasing him like this forever? It takes two to tango, baby. If he's not making an effort, the only way it's going to keep going is if you keep being stuck in this position of trying to hold it together yourself.
You don't need this. It's been two years and that can seem like a long time, you get so buried in it that you forget what a beautiful smart woman you are and the fact that other guys would love the chance to treat you better and pay more attention to you than this loser is.
If you want SO much space, it's not even a relationship anymore. Tell him to get a dog or a cat. :P
2006-12-02 16:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how are you going to have a long term relationship with someone who "needs his space" really. seriously.. dating and being in a relationship is basically wanting to be tied down to one person and exploring to what extent the relationship can be taken. so obviously this is as far as he wants to go. of course he probably hasn't found anyone else so he doesn't wanna let u go. so just in case he cant find someone else. he's still got u. so let him know. either ur one of the top 3 priorities in his life. or ur not going to be in it at all. well at least top 4. well somewhere up top. cuz u got family, school (if in school), work, and watever other crap that's equally important. so u should be up there too. and no ur not being dramatic. ur communicating how u feel about the relationship. which is a good thing. becuz if he's ignorant, now he knows. and i for one am not a mind reader and if my partner is feeling someway about something. i'd like to hear it from them. good job for u
2006-12-02 16:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by 2dogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend breaking up with him. Then he can either recongnize he wants to REALLY be with you, or decide that not being together is the best thing. It sounds like there's a lot of distance between the 2 of you. If he feels tied down apparenlty he wants to be free, and doesn't have the ba ll s to break up with you. He wants you to do the work for him, and I think you should. Break it off and find something that suits you better. Caring about your relationship isn't being dramatic, it's being normal. It's your life too, why wouldn't you care?
2006-12-02 16:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in a relationship kinda liek that. and i'm a guy. my ex didin't need space or anyhting but i always felt i wasn't a priority to her. that her firends always came 1st (i didn't mind her family coming 1st though since blood is thicker then water). anyway it didn't turn out well and we broke up, but were still freinds. maybe you should break up. if you don't like the way he treats u leave him. its not gonna get better
2006-12-02 16:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by DA-LL /Male/ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's not ready for what you want. let him go. you need someone who is going to understand that you need to feel important. you don't have to be priority #1 but #3 or #4 would be nice.
2006-12-02 16:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by maggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also think you should move on. He might say he loves you and all, but when he obviuosly cares more about other people, he just loves you as a friend, not a partner. I hope everything goes well...
2006-12-02 16:03:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him space...about 10 miles or more.
And leave him alone. That means: no phone calls, no emails, no texting, no mail.
Don't initiate any contact with him at all.
2006-12-02 16:02:51 · answer #8 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its too late Im sorry He doesnt love you anymore when he says these things. Let him go and try to be strong..
2006-12-02 16:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do at this point is to see a counselor. You both need a new perspective. If he resists, move on.
2006-12-02 16:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by Besirius 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋