What does he mean!!!!?

Question

There's a strong possibility that I may be pregnant....my childs father said that he's not ready to be a daddy (I haven't told him that I might be).....well I really dont understand how he could say this when everytime we have sex he "releases" himself inside of me...(yes we were both tested for std's and aids before these acts)....I had a abortion last December and I've regretted it ever since.....and i dont want him to think that i'm going to have a baby out of rebellion b/c he's not ready....how am i suppose to feel

Answer 1

when someone says they're not ready to be a parent, you need to take them at their word. thank god we live in a country where abortion on demand is still the law, otherwise, more complete morons would be having children. you're going to feel the way you feel, regardless of what your bf thinks. but aside from that, you need to start using some form of birth control. 2 unplanned pregnancies inside a year really indicates you're not ready to be a parent.

Answer 2

I hope you will seriously reconsider the "baby trap" as a ploy. That is the oldest trick in the book and a guaranteed man-repellent.

If he is not your husband, then he obviously feels some hesitation to making a legal committment to you.

You would be wise to realize that placing the responsibility of holding a relationship together is waaay too much to put on an unborn child.

What's more is that it will ruin the relationship. If your man does not want to marry you, definitely does not want the responsibility of being a father, and has unprotected sex with you, what does that behavior tell you?

He does not really have you, your needs, and consideration for you very high on his priority list. And you have been making excuses for him and allowing him to act like this. Your allowing the unprotected sex indicates that you are not responsible enough to be a parent.

Maybe you're hoping he will change or come around, but unless you let him know you won't allow him to run all over you, then he will continue to.

You need to ask him for what you want. You want a committment and a family. If he is not ready or willing to give you that, then you need to break up with him. Let him know that WHEN he is ready, and IF you are available at that point, he can propose and you'll say yes.

You don't really want to convince him, coerce him, or force him to do anything that he doesn't want to. He would hold it against you and resent you. Do you want that?

Why buy the cow if the milk is free? You don't.

But if there is a price on the milk that he finds reasonable, he will buy it. You need to stop allowing him to take but not give.

Maybe you just need to let him go and find someone who is ready to be a partner.