I need advice on staying strong when it comes to my sister taking advantage of me. See I live w/her and her family. I moved in like 2 yrs ago to help her take care of her kids while she worked. But now that she's unemployed, it just seems as though she's being meaner towards me. I do the cooking, cleaning and on occasion take care of the kids so that her and her husband go out. But at the same time, I STILL pay rent. I don't know how to stand up to her demands and not get kicked out. I can't afford to move out. I'm trying to get a 2nd job but my sister is looking too. She expects me to take care of the kids if she does find a job. How can I tell her she's on her own w/o her or my bro-in-law hating me? I hate the tension.
Help please?
2006-12-02 07:49:20 · 7 answers · asked by nina 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
it seems that now that she is home she really doesn't need you - and this could be her way of acting out with you - being mean with you. why not ask her, since you've been home, it seems you don't want me here - am i right in feeling this? see what she says. she may feel that she doesn't want you with her any longer or she may be very anxious about not having a job herself. but talk, she is your sister and the only way to work it out is that you both be honest with each other. if she doesn't want you there, then look for a roommate and get a small place of your own. then you can definitely look for a second job to make ends meet. right now, you are more bound by living with her - if, she gets a job, there goes your chance of finding a second job. you've already given her 2 years of your life to make her life work. now it's your turn to take care of yourself and try to make a life for YOU that works. up until now, and that's probably why she's mean, it was working for her with you taking care of her needs. this is a perfect time for you to make the break - after all, she's not working and can take care of her own children. good luck with what you decide but be kind to yourself in making the right decision.
2006-12-02 08:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are saving up for a deposit and so on so you can get out of there as soon as you have the means to pay monthly rent.
I don't think she wants you living there as much as you don't want to be living there so the best thing is to start with this goal in common and then sit down talk about how this can be accomplished. You need money in order to move out so that means either a second job or not paying rent to them if you are going to be expected to babysit. They cannot have it both ways. Put the problem in their lap and have them help you solve it.
2006-12-02 16:00:01 · answer #2 · answered by whitneysmother 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are totally being taken advantage of...
She is being a beee yo tch and doesn't realize how good she has it...
If you are paying rent, are you on the lease? if so, she can't kick you out...
I would move out, find a place with some room mates, anything
There are bound to be some hard feelings, she may not even realize that she has overstepped her boundaries as far as you are concerned...
Sometimes it is better to leave an unhealthly living situation and have hard feelings for awhile than stay there and become completely resentful...
Hope you make out all right!
2006-12-02 16:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by nackawicbean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rather than spending time on staying strong perhaps you might consider finding new ways to encourage your sister. This may in time, give her the strength to encourage you.
Here is an idea. While your sister and your brother-in-law are out to dinner, give them an assignment. They are to discuss and list over dinner the dreams that they have had all of their lives.
After reading the list you may come up with some creative job ideas for your sister that might line up with the dreams they've listed. In response to the assignment, you may mention some of your own dreams and perhaps join forces on mutual planning. We have found that planning in alignment with the things you want most can be very energizing and brings people together in powerful ways.
2006-12-02 16:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by NewEnglandLife Mapping 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are no easy answers here. You need to sit down with your sister and let her know EXACTLY how you feel. If she can't respect that and tone it down a bit til you earn the cash to move out, I'd look to a friend or other family member for financial aid so you can remove yourself from the tense situation.
2006-12-02 15:53:20 · answer #5 · answered by Noob 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand up for yourself no matter what happens.Look for a room mate to share the cost of living with,then move out.
2006-12-02 15:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go pay rent somewhere else andcharge her if she needs a baby sitter, or get the house cleaned.
2006-12-02 16:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋