Dad trouble again!?

Question

I'm avoiding my Dad. He is complaining alot. For example, I went downstairs and asked him how he was doing and he said "I'm tired. I'm really run down." Then I said that Mom was going to get a nice lunch and he asked "what?" and I said that she said it was going to be a surprise. And he said "I don't know about your mother and her surprises". His tone and attitude or just so negative. It pushes me away. The last couple of weeks, I have been suffering a bit from stress/anxiety, so this negativity isn't helping at all!

He did not instill confidence in me and I did not instill it in myself, so I'm trying really hard now as an adult to gain it. It's hard!! My dad's personality and mine are different. He's more on the serious side and is almost like a boss than a Dad sometimes. Truly he loves me because he doesn't show it affectionately or with words, but in actions.

How can I enjoy being around my Dad again?

My Mom & Dad have been married almost 30 years. One thing for sure is, it's my mom's way or no one's way. They always have their usual tiny fights, but nothing major!

You're right! My Dad has a very hard time opening up and talking. It takes alot for my Dad to laugh. He's pretty serious. I remember when we were younger my sister and I gave him the nickname "clownie" and he said he didn't lke it. It really hurt my sister's feelings. So we both never called him that again!

He knows that I love him, I wish there was someway that I could change his personality!

Hi Chris, yes I feel that it is a personality issue and I'm trying not to take it personally.

It's hard to be positive, when he's so negative all the time. Any tricks?

You're right, i have thought about it too much and it's making me change my feelings about my Dad.

I'm not sure how to fix this! :(

Hello mibr, my Dad broke his leg a year ago and had to have surgery. Fortunately he is able to walk again. He wasn't as grumpy before as he is now. He is getting older too.

I would love to be able to lift his spirits, but it's hard because he does not laugh too often, he's very serious.

It's hard to be in a good mood, when he isn't. It's really hard, I'm not sure how I can do it!

Answer 1

What ages are your parents and you? This "trouble" you describe may be something that has nothing to do with "you" and may be between your parents. Sounds like you were very close to your Dad at one time and perhaps you may be growing apart now. It is hard to say. I was a Daddy's girl, but we did grow apart and unfortunately my Daddy passed away when I was 19 and I am now 47, so we never got a chance to reconnect. Go to you Dad and ask him if he needs some space right now? Talk to him as your friend and see what happens.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, sometimes men aren't as open and loving with their kids as they should be. Do you remember anything in particular that you did when you were little that made him laugh? A nickname you had for him that he thought was cute? Try using something like that to break the ice, tell him you love him, tell him what you admire about him. When he says he's tired, ask if there is something you can do to help him, maybe he just feels like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders and there might be one small thing you can do to lift some of that weight. Fathers often feel unappreciated and like walking ATMs, so try to let him know you love him.

Answer 3

He may not be feeling well -sometimes people get grumpy (or grumpier than usual) when their health is just not right.
On his side he needs soeone to come up and tell him a joke, lift his spirits...
On your side, you sound like you are thinking clearheadedly (is that an adjective?) as an adult, you seem to know that his mood is not in any way your fault & you know he loves you. Try to keep your mood from being influenced by any need of approval (we all need that from parents, right?)
Some parents also don't "get it" when their kids become adults, they don't seem to understand how to relate well to adult children.
Hope everything turns out well!

Answer 4

First realize that this may be a personality issue and not a personal issue.

Blow off his negativity and keep being positive.

Since you thought about it so much do you think that maybe your taking yourself too seriously. Sometimes we got to just be in the world and the moment instead of being busy analyzing it.

Answer 5

i think of you have some substantial instructions to be taught right here. in the experience that your dad is been affected person with you in the past, he's clearly given you opportunities to do extra constructive, and you proceed with the comparable undesirable habit. in case you many times get into hardship, then i do no longer think of what he's looking of you is unreasonable. i do no longer believe spanking, yet once you are going to act like slightly youngster, then he could handle you like one.... Backtalking is stunning immature. in case you have a situation with a instructor, you may take a seat down with them on my own and communicate it, no longer get all snippy and snarky in the midst of sophistication. it relatively is disruptive and thoroughly innappropriate. i do no longer understand how old you're, yet you are going to be taught that your physique of techniques won't take you very far in the real worldwide. you may no longer purely returned communicate your boss, you would be fired. you moreover mght could be taught to take the punishment to your movements. militia college could no longer be this form of undesirable concept.

Answer 6

Mmm, sounds like something happened between your mom and dad and they are currently fighting. Something else is going on. Try to talk to your mom alone and ask her what is going on.

Answer 7

Are all his nonworking hours spent at home or does he drink allot. Unfortunately we humans seem to go to depressants to make us feel better. If so walk softly, it is always someone else fault.

Answer 8

i have the same problem with my parents.i read it and feel the same way too...
life is always struggle,we have to be strong enough to
face it,i just take problems aas spices of life and look in a positive
way...