i think my sister might be being abused by my stepmom. in october, my sister talked back to my stepmom, "Rae". Rae got so angry with her that she began spanking her, pushed her up against a wall, grabbed her shoulders, and began violently shaking her. many times i have seen rae grab my sister's face or wrists and squeeze them very hard. does this count as abuse? or is it just the good spanking that my sister deserves? is it not abuse until there are visible bruises? how can you tell when someone has crossed the line into abuse? and what should i do if it is abuse? telling someone is not an option.
2006-12-02 07:34:39 · 11 answers · asked by Lexa♥ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
oh, and my sister is 14 years old by the way.
2006-12-02 07:35:25 · update #1
Your stepmom is abusive. Did you bring this up with your father or your mother? My mom did pretty much the same things to my sister when I was growing up (she would always talk back too) and once I was about 12 and my sister was 14 I began to step in and physically break them apart.
I suggest you talk to your sister about watching her mouth to avoid more trouble and speak with a school counselor and your parents about her options.
2006-12-02 07:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I use to be physically abused by my dad but he got help for it when he crossed the line one day. Your step mom is physically abusing your sister, it is not necessary for her to push her up against the wall and squeezing her wrists and face really hard like that. A spanking isn't being abusive but I think your step mom is going too far, you should go tell your mom or dad about this. Tell them what's going on or report this to your school principal. Just tell someone before it gets out of hand.
2006-12-02 23:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by marah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being spanked at 14 is kinda old! Uh, your stepmom is crossing the line with abuse. Is the abuse getting worse and worse? If so you should tell someone. Why is she freaking on your sister, is your sister a smart mouth? No adult likes that. I'd tell your sister (if her mouth is what freaks her step out) to zip her lip. Unless your step mom is the troublemaker, of course. Could you tell you dad, then maybe he could tell his wife to chill out or something. Are you afraid to tell lest you get hit? Does she do this to you too? If so, you need to tell someone.
2006-12-02 15:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by ANSWER MY QUESTION!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There were times when I got shoved against the wall and back handed by my mom at that age. I wouldnt consider it abuse, because I honestly was being horrid, and i certainly benefited from being put in my place. Iam a better adult for it.
HOWEVER, you can tell when the line has been crossed between abuse and punishment if the parent is acting out of anger or hate for the child.
Children need punished, sometimes severely, epsecially as teenagers when getting your point across isnt as easy as it was when they were smaller and more willing to be well bahaved.
It should never be a repeated issue. I think in my teenage years I got in trouble MAYBE once a year to the point where it was a physical confrontation, and usually that was just my mom making me sit down and talk things through.
If this is something that is a constant occurance, then the punishment isnt effective and instead is caused by your step mom acting in anger.
2006-12-02 15:42:59 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why do you say that telling someone is not an option? It's got to be an option, if this is what is necessary to get help for your sister and your stepmother. Tell a counselor at your school, if you are a student and they will know who to contact in town to get some professional help. You shouldn't have to decide whether it is abuse, let someone with more experience decide that.
2006-12-02 16:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by niko 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok--this was abuse.
I know people disagree what they consider abuse--some think any spanking is abuse. But on the whole, I think it is like a Supreme Court Justice said about pornography--he did not know how to define it but he knew it when he saw it.
I think anytime there is anytype of hitting anything other than the bottom you are beginning to cross the line (other than a slap on hands or maybe a slap on face--though I hate that). Some people say hitting on the bottom with a paddle or something like that or spanking a bare fanny is per se abuse--that is silly.
Like I say--we all really know true abuse when we see it--whether we are pro or anti spanking.
2006-12-02 15:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is abuse. Why is telling someone not an option? It is up to you to protect your sister from your stepmom. If your dad knows what's going on and doesn't do anything to stop it then you need to tell someone who can. Good luck!
2006-12-02 22:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's definitely abuse. Your stepmother should be reported to the authorities before she takes it too far. Also, your sister's psyche could be seriously damaged if you allow this to continue.
Even at a young age, only spanking is tolerable, IMO. But at 14, this kind of punishment is just wrong and unacceptable.
2006-12-02 15:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by LexiSan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is a very fine line. My advice is to talk to your sister, since she is 14, and tell her not to provoke her step mom. And maybe these situations will not occur. If the step mom just attacks for no reason then that is another story.
2006-12-02 15:46:18 · answer #9 · answered by dancinintherain 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
telling someone IS AN OPTION and as far as iam concerned, THE only option. your step-mom has some serious anger management problems. what on earth is your dad doing about this....and by the way, how old are you? if that was my sister id kick that step-moms azz
2006-12-02 17:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋