My friend is suicidal. He is suffering serious problems at home. He hates himself and I think that the way things are going that he will be dead soon. Other people are starting to turn on him because he fakes being happy all the time but they don’t know he is faking happiness. He won’t seek professional help. How can I and his other mates help him?
2006-12-02 07:20:08 · 20 answers · asked by Alistair 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
He is also self-harming
2006-12-02 09:36:25 · update #1
This is directed at Rachel D
Your theory might be correct if it wasn't for the fact that everything you assume is wrong.
You have no idea what i see happening to 2 of my best friends every day
You don't know the problems that are rooted within them whereas i do
Yes i get depressed at times but who doesn't
2006-12-04 07:31:56 · update #2
Hi,
the ,main thing to do is to stick with him and show him you are there to support him and be there for him. the people who are turning against him are oviosly not the mates they say they are. you will not be able to force him to seek help but you can advise him. as long as he has you he will pull through it. it wont be easy for either him nor you but stick with it.
good luck x
2006-12-02 07:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa W 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Broadly speaking, you can't. Depression is a life-style choice for many people. We all have problems. Sometimes huge ones. And there are millions in poverty, in poor health etc etc. They aren't necessary clinically depressed - and they aren't suicidal.
I even spent part of my working day today, with a woman freshly diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer. She's gone back home with her husband for the weekend - in her words - 'to have a bit of company and some fun'....
And - sorry - but why would people 'turn on' someone simply because they are outwardly 'happy'... it doesn't make sense.....
If he knows that help is available and refuses it, well you've done your bit. The worst thing is to help him 'dramatise' everything. The 'best', is to 'accept' and ackowledge his feelings - while not giving them undue attention (which is probably the 'pay-off' for him). Be a friend, yes. But don't be a bit player in a drama and crisis being played out by someone else. It doesn't help them; it doesn't help you, it just helps to crank it up into something worse....
2006-12-02 07:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by . 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sadly my love you cant - HE has to be the one to ask for help, HE is the one who will have to take the pills. You can be there for him but you cant make him do anything except keep trying to persuade him to get the help he needs. You can watch him 24/7 for months but believe me if he wants to take his life he will and nothing you or anyone else does or says will change his mind. All I will say is try everything you can but should he do the unthinkable then you musnt EVER feel guilty. I speak from experience after a friend commited suicide and I went through the anger, guilt etc. Good luck anbd I hope your friend takes the hand of friendship and gets help - he is lucky to have such good friends xxxx
2006-12-02 07:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
encourage him to be honest to himself about not being happy then support him to find professional help for the depression. It sound like he needs this help asap.
It seems that the root of your friends depression is his self esteem, or lack of. It will take time for your friend to get himself out of this and you cant do it for him. you can however reinforce that you like him for him, not for the things he does for you or for what he can give to you. There will be times when his manners will not be the best and he may at times say hurtful things or just become extremely self centred; don't take this personally it's SOMETIMES a symptom of depression. Others can become clingy and/or needy.
Depression is not the easiest thing to cope with for the sufferer or friends and family but it's not impossible to undo. It's likely that the doctor will prescribe him medication, he needs to follow all directions given with regard to this. In addition to this he is likely to recieve therapy which will be the key to cracking the depression as that is where he is most likely to learn to care for himself.
It's a shame there are not more people in the world such as yourself who want to help as opposed to the friends who turn their back at the first hurdle. Good luck with your problem, i hope this helped.
2006-12-02 07:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by Atlanta 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
suicide is extremely serious and should not be taken lightly talk to him, but don't be forceful get him active and doing stuff that he normally likes get him out of the house and w/ people that care about him. He fakes because he is embarrassed and doesn't know why he is feeling the way he is, and shunning him only makes it worse. steer away from subjects containing death even if he brings them up. if he starts giving away his personal things that is a BIG warning sign. if he gets really bad and becomes physical or even if you are just really concerned about him call the police they will get him help. he might be mad at you at first but he will realize you did it because you care.
2006-12-02 07:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by ibyt2692 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/VtHvK
2015-01-29 18:29:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local community mental health team, they will give you help and support. He really needs to get help himself though, its not something that will go away on its own, There are lots of treatment options open to him from medication to talking therapies. If you live in the UK try saneline or mind they give fairly good advice.
2006-12-02 07:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression can be very serious if the person is suicidal. Call 911 if you seriously think he is going to kill himself. If he is suffering from psychological disorder, he may not recognize the fact that he needs help. Hope all goes well.
2006-12-02 07:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Hugsy 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him that life ain't easy. All of you feel upset at some points in your livies, too. I think if you're open to talk about your problems to him, he will be open to talk about his problems to you. It's important that he can speak out his problems to the ones he trusts such as his relatives, friends... Once his problems are known by himself, he can search for advice from therapists.
2006-12-02 10:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by sleepless_princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like an awful situation, try talking to him , try to get him to open up to you .The only way for you to help him is if he wants and asks for help,so be the one he can trust and turn to.
Talk to someone you know who might have experience with this ,don't carry this by yourself find help from whoever you can,
2006-12-02 07:38:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋