Any time i ask my son anything whether its would you like cereal or toast, or,clean up your toys, he screams " no mum" then runs to his room, slams the door shut, screams and cries and throws himself around, then 5 minutes later he comes back out in the foulest mood. I have tried everything. I have caught him before he gets to his room and talked to him. All i get is screams. I have given him time out before he has reached his room. I have put him back in his room after a tantrum and all he does is sulk. I have also ignored the tantrum completely as though it didnt happen. He has been doing it for the last 6 months. The doctor says he is healthy physically emotionally and developmentally. If this goes on i am going to end up using physical punishment. Help anybody have any suggestions?
2006-12-02 05:24:21 · 9 answers · asked by Big red 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
He is at a daycare center 3 times a week for a few hours. I always have the neighbours children around or he is at someone elses house. I dont think i pamper him, he is a very independant child.
2006-12-02 05:38:15 · update #1
I was a very easy going unflappable parent until he started doing this. I always thought i had it easy because both he and his older brother were very easy babies
2006-12-02 05:40:51 · update #2
*grin* Aren't toddlers fun?!
The interesting thing is that he's looking for a reaction, and he's getting it. He watches you for your expressions, listens to your shocked voice when you talk to him about it. He's in the limelight and he loves it. Remember, negative attention is STILL attention.
Here's what I would do, with a little bit of what my mother did to me tossed in:
Put a few small cups in the fridge about half-full of water. Let them get nice and cold.
When he pulls his tantrum don't stop him...let him kick, cry and scream. With NO WARNINGS, go to the fridge and get that cup of ICY COLD water. Don't let him see it. Go up to him and very quickly dash it in his face, immediately hiding the cup. NEVER let him see that cup or the motions leading up to it.
The shock will stop his tantrum immediately and will hurt in no way. He might cry a little. Don't coddle him or explain your actions to him.
Help him clean the water from his face with a clean towel and ask him again to do whatever it was that set him off in the first place. He will do what you ask.
You should only have to do this once...he will associate his tantrum with a very shocking and negative outcome. At the most you might have to do it once more. Just remember, no warnings and no explanations. Don't tell him "this is why I did this" or "if you throw a tantrum..." Just do it.
Good luck!!!!
2006-12-02 06:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by dancing_in_the_hail 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am shocked at how many people keep telling you to spank him. Not the answer. I did like the one about the cold water though. Set up rules beforehand about what the consequences are for tantrums and then follow through. So if you ask him if he'd like cereal or toast and he throws a tantrum, then he gets neither. Missing or delaying one meal won't hurt him but he'll have a direct consequence for his action. If he has a tantrum for not cleaning up his toys, you can throw his toys away. But these rules have to be established beforehand, and you MUST follow through.
Enjoy!
2006-12-02 15:51:35 · answer #2 · answered by antieannie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.....
many, many parents go Thur this same thing. i often watch my son's classmates b4 and after school and tantrum behavior is common. do not give in - be consistent with your discipline. when you are ready to scream - be sure to remember that others suffer as you do. if people look at you strange - just smile, they don't have a 3 year old so they don't understand. I've heard that this will pass. my son is entering the 4 year old plateau. can't wait to see what is next!
2006-12-02 14:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by kt1969 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's picking up bad habits at daycare? Or else he's got a chemical imbalance or something. When I was 2 years old, my mom said that if I got mad, I'd start banging my head against the wall! She was surprised as she never heard of this before. She would spank me and after a few times I stopped the head banging. He should get a good swat for his behavior. Not a real bad beating, but something to DEFINITELY get his attention.
2006-12-02 13:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by ANSWER MY QUESTION!! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My viewpoints for you:
1. May be he is not having enough friends in the neighbourhood.
2. Try enrolling him into some pre-school course for toddlers. They do help a lot, believe me.
3. Don't over-pamper him as he will become obstitnate.
4. Just act 'normal' if he still behaves abnormally. Children love to trouble more the 'disturbed' parents. Happy going parents generally do not invite trouble from children.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
ADDED:
I note details which you added. So I think that you need to act really tough at times but NOT rude. I know it is bit difficult for a mother to do so, but you have to think for his long term interests, right? Slap him at times, delay food to him if he rejects food at first offering, link his rude behaviour with benefits he is missing. Remember, you got to be tough NOT rude, ok. Also get him a punching bag so that he can release his pent up emotions into it.
I hope it helps.
2006-12-02 13:31:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
TROUBLE 3 RIGHT !JUST STICK TO WHAT YOUR DOING WE HAVE TO START BY A EARLY AGE TELLING OUR KIDS NO!AND TEACHING THEM TO CLEAN UP AFTER THEIR SELVES.ASK THE DAYCARE FOR SOME TIPS BECAUSE KIDS WILL DO WHAT THEY SEE THEIR PEERS DO.LET HIM NO IF U DONT DO WHAT I SAY TAKE THINGS AWAY.IN THE LONG RUN THEY WILL BENEFIT FROM IT.ITS GOING TO BE HARD BUT DONT GIVE UP YOUR THE PARENT THEY DO WHAT U SAY.GOOD LUCK
2006-12-02 15:04:15 · answer #6 · answered by K.B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should set up a rule. For everytime he screams or misbehave you take something away from him (ex. his toys), or that you will not buy him anything. You need to be consistent and stick to the rule.
2006-12-02 13:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by joruaishiteru 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you would've had this problem had you been giving him spankings.. Make sure you explain to him why you're giving him a spanking..
2006-12-02 14:19:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kat0312 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HELLO!!! Spank him. No one wants to be around a disrespectful undisciplined screaming brat! sorry but its true. you don't even want to be around him. am i right?
2006-12-02 13:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by jmd 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋