About 3 months ago my little sister came to live with me, we have the same dad but diff. moms, she has never had discipline, she's never had rules, the circumstances in which I got her are pretty terrible and things you see on tv that only happen to other people, dhs will not allow her back in the home with her parents at all, she continuosly lies to me about little stuff all the big stuff is fine it's the little stuff, like brushing her teeth, combing her hair, washing her hair, stuff like that...is this just because of what she's been through and what can I do to help....I'm just so frustrated...let me add I'm only 21 but I do have to children of my own....
2006-12-02 05:08:16 · 13 answers · asked by atchisons2006 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
A 9 yr old only knows what they are thought, sounds like she is headed for a lot of trouble...If you can not change things, but you can make a difference by having rules , descipline,changing the circumstances.You sound like you have answerd your own question It's sad a child as young as you has to take responsibility for someone else , you shoud not have too until you decde to have children of your own. You need to teach her that the things she's doing is wrong, she's been in the wrong direction for a long time now , it's baby steps My niece was thought right from wrong (grew up in a great family life ) , but had a bad habit of ling , My daughter called her on it , her response was ,I can go to church and say a few hell Marys and God will forgive me. God Bless & Good Luck
2006-12-02 05:35:51 · answer #1 · answered by donna m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters you are doing a wonderful thing by taking care of your sister. Secondly I would seek some counseling for your sister. If her situation at home was bad enough for her to have to be removed from the home then she probably needs someone she can talk to who isn't involved in the situation. Lastly ask your girlfriend/wife if she would mind spending a little extra time with your sister. Girl time. She could show your sister how to fix her hair and how to take care of herself properly. This could be turned into a fun thing for your sister to do and she would look and feel so much better. It would bring about some changes in her to have a little girl time. It is just a suggestion of course but I think it would certainly help the situation. As far as the lying goes maybe she does lie about the small things because she can control them as her life has been out of control for awhile. She could feel empowered in away to tell a fib here and there. Some guidance and a gentle push in the right direction could turn everything around.
2006-12-02 05:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by smmr27 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say probably reward her for being honest but if she lies don't let her do something she wants to do. Or you can get a money reward system give her like $1 every time she tells the truth but take $2 or something away when she lies. You can be really mean and take $5 away if you want. But I'm not completely sure if it will work.
2006-12-02 05:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by Raptor 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let her know when you detect a lie and when you do, supervise her when she brushes her hair or cleans her teeth. That will be the consequence of telling a lie. Give her lots of affection when she admits to the lie and tells the truth. Affection is the best reward. It will take time, but she will eventually learn that you really do love her best when she tells the truth.
2006-12-02 05:20:53 · answer #4 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok. its what shes been through. i have a 9 year old nephew and his step dad is in jail. his mom is white. they live in the projects. and he has trouble with schooling. his mom went into the army, and got pregnat with him. she slept with so many people she dont even know who the daddy is. he has gone through alot. his mom has affairs cosntatnly. she dosnt have a job. matt her husband which is half black is in jail beat her. and btw my nephew is half black too. he is so cute and funny. and loves video games and loves to draw and has lots of friends even though he is shy. my family is pretty sure that he has seen his mom cheat on his step dad. his step dad is nice and joel likes him alot. and calls him dad. well joel was melasted by this guy named steve when he was 4. he has some issues. but joel comes every weekend with me to spend the night cause i love him and cause of money. he lies about brushing his teeth, his hair. taking showers and where his homework is and if his mom feed him. he isnt over weight. he actualy dosnt want to eat half the time but oh well. has the girl been melestad? email me!
2006-12-02 05:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she used to get punished for those little things, you have to talk to her and let her know that you love her what ever, but you wish her to stop saying lie about this things that are not important, she will do it again, you do not tell that you know she is not say the truth, for example if you ask her " did you brush your teeth?" and she says "yes" and you know that she did not, just tell her" that is OK if you do it later" just portend that you heard the truth and you do not mind it.
2006-12-02 05:20:35 · answer #6 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may not trust you.or she may feel intimidated by you and does not feel comfortable to deal with you. that is why she may lie to you .If she lies about brushing her teeth. Say its your teeth not mine. Instill in her without invaliding her that she should take responsibilty for her own life.
2006-12-02 05:14:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rules and guidelines, boundaries and consequences. Do it now or your life will be a living hell in a few years and she will be lost for ever.
2006-12-02 07:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Weasel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs discipline, but you are probably the only one who can know how or what kind of discipline because you are the one who is her care giver.
2006-12-02 05:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by jmd 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell her to go to like wash her hair then u can watch tv or something make her do something she doesnt like for something she does like.
2006-12-02 05:12:06 · answer #10 · answered by dr.demonto 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋