People with children only?

Question

I have read a lot of questions about spanking some for some against.What I would like to know is were you spanked as a child and do you think it influenced how you punish your children? If so how? Did it make you for or against spanking? why is that? I would like to make it clear that I just mean spanking not ABUSED .

Answer 1

My mother was a strong believer in spanking and we were regularly spanked. And she did not believe in it just as "a last resort." Her philsophy was that in most cases kids, depending on their age and the behavior, could be talked to , reprimanded and reasoned with. But if punishment was called for spanking was the most effective. As a result we were punished less than most kids, but spanked more.

She believed that spanking was more effective than timeouts, loss of privileges, etc. With very young kids the reason for and point of the punishment is lost. With older kids it is no more effecitve than is imprisoning adult offenders. She did not want to be a parental jailer.

With a spanking the point is made, the air is cleared and everyone can move on from there.

Despite this when I went to college, under the influence of the psychology and education professors, I became convinced it was a terrible thing. In fact, by their standards I should be an emotional wreck (my Mom even spanked in the "most dangerous" way--usually on my bare fanny).

But, once I had my own kids I gradually changed my tune and began to come to the conclusion that my parents were not so stupid and old fashioned as I had thought (when it comes to spanking I am now almost identical with the way Mom was) . I then delved into the research. I am now convinced that spanking is not only not harmful (and, like you I am not talking about abuse, of course) but is a very impontant component of raising children (that is for the vast majority of kids and parents--there are exceptions of course). If you are interested in looking at a discussion of the research I blogged on it at http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

Anyway, I have become something of a nutty radical proponent of spanking now. I think my Mom was right, she is supported by the valid research as well as the centuries of parental experience.

The social experiment of no-spanking started in the mid-1950's and has been a failure. I think a lot of young parents, like myself, are beginning to recongnize and there is a small, but growing trend among us back toward spanking.

Answer 2

I was spanked as a child when it was absolutely necessary, and so was my brother. He got more than me though..but I knew better and didnt want a spanking. Because of it I was a very well behaved child, and in high school, never did drugs, slept around , cussed or anything like that. So regardless of what others say about spanking, I dont believe its abuse and i dont believe it will make your child violent. Its very effective for some kids and not so much for others. Every child needs a different form of discipline because every child is different. Not all of them are going to benefit from Time outs. With my children , I also will spank them when its very necessary. I try to do other things first. One of my sons is extremely hard to discipline and I still havent found what works on him, but neither spankings or time outs are effective with him. I guess next Ill have to go with grounding. But yes I still think spanking should be used especially if the child has done somehting to put him or someone else in danger, or is just completely out of line.

Answer 3

I was spanked as a child. I have 2 teens, 14&15. I spanked them when they were small. I don't believe in the way society is totally against spanking. people abused there kids for as long as time. It was just more hidden. The departments cities have now for kids, DHS, etc. is wonderful. But I think it should be for kids who are "actually" abused. Not for spanking. In my opinion, I believe that is why the world is the way it is. Our kids are the way they are. They know hitting is illegal by there parents, so they use it as amunition. They are out of control, doing what they want. Back in the day, crime by kids was down, kids got punished and spanked. Now you can't do that so the kids are going wild.

Answer 4

I was spanked as a child (rarely) and I grew up just fine. I find that the threat of getting a spanking works just as well, if not better, than actually getting one. My mom would give me 'the look' and I would straighten out. Smart woman, I was only actually swatted like four times in my entire life. I do the same with my kids and they are very well behaved and respect authority. As long as you know that it is a spanking and not a beating, I am all for it.

Answer 5

I am the youngest of 5, I was so called spanked .. more like beaten BUT i have 4 children , who when the pushed the envelope I have spanked, but taking from how i grew up , i only did it very seldomly and not very hard , for my kids it was really just the point, now my children are teens and they have no issues about it.. i know this becuz my children and I have spoken on this ..

Answer 6

I was spanked..I'm still here to tell about it. I know with pets, they get confused as the hand that you are rewarding them with, you are also punishing them with. I can imagine it's gets even more confusing for children. I do not plan on spanking my child ( who is only 8 months right now) but I know sometimes, they act up so much that it seems the only answer. I would recommend only in dire circumstances so that the child KNOWS how serious it is.

Answer 7

As a child I was abused when it came to physical punishment. It was definitely old school punishment. As a parent now, I don't and never will hit or spank my children or anyone. There are other ways to deal with that. Number one is by talking and being close to your child.

Answer 8

Spanking is a blind spot for most adults in the USA till this day. It is the same argument as:
"I was spanked and am not a criminal." or
"I was spanked and am a criminal."
People focus on their own experience and think that everyone is the same. It is like saying "I smoked 2 packs of cigarrettes a day for 20 years and I don't have lung cancer so smoking is completely fine" I agree that being spanked as a child will greatly influence how you will discipline your own children. I don't spank my kids because the long term effects prove that it just doesn't work. I want my children to not fear me, not turn out antisocal or aggressive as adults. So far it is just peoples' opinion and attitude on thinking it is okay and right. The only benefit is completely short term compliance. There is just more evidence to support that it is ineffective. There is no reliable concrete evidence or research that supports it today. Experts say that spankings precondition girls to accept violence and boys to rely on it. When a girl is spanked by their father, they are being trained to submit. You are setting up girls to be victims of future male authority figures, whether it be a boyfriend, husband or employer. It just teaches physical response to problems and immediate obedience. I think people are confusing lack of physical punishment correlates with aggression and crime, not lack of spanking as a form of discipline. There are other alternatives than spanking. Sometimes a parents central goal is to inflict pain to teach a lesson of right or wrong rather than using other effective methods because they were spanked themselves as children. It is just a continuing cycle. The American Academy of Pediatrics take a stand against all forms of spanking and there are big reasons why. History is our big future predictor you know. I like to go by facts, studies, concrete evidence and professional knowledge as a way to determine what works, not some opinion by a person with no child development education background.
Spanking is a form of abuse, that is what I think. It just gives children the wrong message.

Answer 9

I was spanked as a child but never beaten just one swat usually hurt my pride more than any thing. It a way of saying hey straighten up. Did the same with my kids and my son does with his kids . Only when they the kids have majorly miss-behaved.
Usually talking would do it on normal things.
I remember one day when my mom went over and over something being quite mean. to me at age 7 . I said Mom can't I just have you spank me and get this over. I feel sometimes talking can be worse than a swat on the backside hurts the child's physics

Answer 10

I wasn't really spanked, my mom used to slap us in the face and I hated it...I do spank my own children on the bottoms, I would never slap my children in the mouth I feel that it's degrating...I am a better parent than mine could have ever been!! My mom was always at the casino and my dad he lived 2 hours away with his "new" wife and "their" kids which I wasn't a part of...I think that if you don't spank now then when they get big enough you will get spanked...but I am a christian woman and I strongly beleive " spare the rod spoil the child" I don't beat my kids....