My mother-n-law said this to be.....?

Question

Heres the the best short of this. My wifes mother came 2 vist her daughter/my wife from Africa also 2 see are new baby boy, it was are first meeting. From the start she would speak little english now and then around me. I have to say here english is very very good. When we are all together in the same room my wife and her mother would speak very, very, very little english when watching movie, news, or just setting, well I think you get the idea. Well one day she/mother-n-law asks me a question, my responce was oh we can speak english. Her reply was I will speak english when it consern you. At that point I was fed up with them, they would just conversant in the same room as if iI was not there. I think they where rude my wife and mother think not. Please please help me tell me what you think on this matter. Also before my statement oh we can speak english 2 her mother I told my wife i think you are being rude and disrespectful to me. help me on this one.
Thank you.. James

Answer 1

Stop being a sissy and tell, don't ask, your wife you want her to speak English. Don't ask her tell her. Then go bananas if they do it again. Like knock the lamp off the table or something. then explain it really pissed you off.

Your wife will speak English. Also, you have to realize you mother in law has no respect for you at all to say " Her reply was I will speak English when it consern you." She is used to bossing your wife's father around. A wife that loves and respects her husband doesn't talk this way. This is also how your wife was raised. So you better decide now how you want it to be. With you wife and your mother-in-law.

Answer 2

That was very rude. My fathers side speaks German as well as English, they do their best to speak English all the time so we can all understand. If they are speaking to each other in German, I do not pay attention, but if one if them asked me something in German (which I do not speak) I shook my head and said I'm sorry I dont understand... They would laugh and say oh I'm so sorry, how you say in English... blah blah whatever the question was.

In terms of language barriers, we all have to respect the others... talk to your wife privately and tell her how this upset you.. since it was the first meeting of your mother in law perhaps she figured she doesnt know you well enough so whats the big deal. It is a big deal, you're her son in law. Your wife needs to be on your side. The next time it happens your wife needs to say something to her on your behalf, and while you are all together they need to speak the language you understand.

Answer 3

this is a very difficult question to answer, I know that if I were in a foreign country and I only spoke English, and very little of that language. I would latch on to any English speaking person, so that I could talk, Yes it is very rude to do this in front of an other person who does not speak the language,and if I were to include that person in the conversation, by having our conversation interpreted to the non speaking person to include them. Now as for you wife and mother in Law they are talking about mundane things that is not about you. Please for the sake of you family please try to see it from a foreigners point of view, and do not take it personally, and make this lady feel that she is welcome in your home no matter what

Answer 4

It is certainly bad etiquette. But it appears neither your mother-in-law nor your wife can be convinced. Ignore it as she will be going away shortly. After she leaves, you have to brainwash your wife and teach her not to be rude.

Answer 5

THEY ARE BEING BOTH VERY RUDE,DISRESPECTFUL, INCONSIDERATE ETC>!!!!!!!! In your own home too yet!! Why is your wife acting like that??? She would be sleeping on the couch and my in-law at a hotel!!!

Answer 6

I agree it's very rude