I've been reading a lot of questions this morning and it seems a lot of people suffer from being able to let go of wrongs done them in the past...usually from parents, relatives or friends. What would you recommend to these people to help them heal?
2006-12-02 04:17:34 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
And yes, I'll be the first to say God etc. but I'm looking for a more for psychological approach here, from a human point of view.
2006-12-02 04:19:32 · update #1
My feeling on forgiveness is that you forgive for yourself and your well being, so YOU can move on. You do not forgive the person who wronged you in order to ease them or their guilt or whatever. I have had a lot of pain in my life stemming from a bad step family situation. I was angry for a long time and I found it really hard to forgive my stepbrother and stepfather for their indiscretions, to put it nicely. But after some long thought and therapy, I decided to forgive them and tell them so. Once I had done that, I felt an overwhelming peace that I hadn't had in a long time. I would tell people that its a hard thing to do to forgive, and it may take someone a long time to reach that place where they are ready or feel safe to forgive and some people never reach that place. It can be very toxic to harbor all those bad feelings. Once you let them go, you feel free. It is also not necessary to tell the one who wronged you face to face...you can forgive them in your own mind or put it down in words and seal the envelope and ceremoniously burn it - that can be quite cathartic.
2006-12-02 04:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by hollyberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kind of dismiss God as a way to heal...it really is the only way to heal.
I answered a question earlier that something I heard once really helps me deal with these situations...hate the sin, love the sinner.
I believe that is what God does and so that is what I try to do.
People are going to mess up...forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you, it is for you so that you can heal. If you hold onto the hurt it eats away at you, not the person who did the wrong.
2006-12-02 12:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop and ask yourself is it worht being angry or hurt for the rest of your life or would it be eaiser to just let go you put to much into being upset an then stop to think what if you choose to be that way and something tragic happened to that person and you could never tell them you forgave them because it will be to late we have to live for the now not the past because we can't change the past only the now!!!
2006-12-02 12:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by JINE GIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a strong feeling/emotion. I love my husband so much, and I have forgiven him on many things (he has never cheated). You just have to keep working for the greater good. A person has to be strong enough and confident with themselves to totally forgive someone. It takes work and alot of work on trust, but it can be done.
2006-12-02 12:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by Full of Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read a book, "The Sunflower" by Simon Weisenthal.
it is a book about forgiveness and what it takes to forgive
It will at least thelp them to decide if they can or can't
2006-12-02 12:44:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋