she always trys to tell me what to do, or if she coul ddo it. She dose not undersant that i am mom, not her. She tells my daughter to tell her she is ama, (mother) my daughter is ten months. what do i do?\
2006-12-02 03:59:13 · 10 answers · asked by Luis S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have a heart to heart with your husband, tell him how your feeling and have him talk to her.
You don't want tension between you and your mom-in-law, but what she is doing is inappropriate.
If that doesn't work, you will have to sit down with her, away from your daughter and have a very mature, calm conversation with her.
I wish mothers-in-law got it, mine broke up my marriage because my husband wasn't man enough to stand up to his mom. He chose his mom over me and his son... And now he's a lonely little guy! Hopefully you chose better than I did...........
2006-12-02 04:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sigh. This is what they do! I do not have children (i'm so grateful half the time) but she is the same with how to take care of my husband (are you kidding me?) my home, everything....
To save face, and just because I dont want to hear what she has to say if I lose it, I just tell her that I am doing fine on my own and if I need her help I will ask (delivered with a sweet tone its not that bad). I have never asked her advice because if I do, I know that she will automatically think she is better than me, and all progress I have made over the last 11 years will revert back to none (with the exception of a laundry question once, she was pleased I sought her advice).
Get your husbands full support. Even him saying something about how wonderful a mother you are to her will help.
As for her telling your baby she is 'ama' I would gently correct her and say you dont want to confuse your baby and perhaps settle on a name to call her (whatever grandma may be.. nana or whatever).
Being the bigger person helps, and unfortunately, the mom in law doesnt go away... stand your ground, make sure hubby is on your side and it will get better with time.
Best of luck.
2006-12-02 12:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, sit down and breathe a minute.... Now, the next time your mother in law comes over, sit her down (calmly), tell her you appreciate her help, however, YOU, not her, are the mother, you will learn as you go. Babies don't come with instructions. Tell her that you don't mind her input, but you would like her to back off a bit.
2006-12-02 15:04:33 · answer #3 · answered by Heartful_poet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't already done so, you need to have this conversation with your husband. Then you need to tell your mother-in-law to back off. That is so disrespectful. You don't want to have to remove her from your daughters life because she is her grandmother but you need to be firm and set some ground rules. She is MY daughter and I will take care of her as I see fit and if i need your advice I will ask for it BOTTOM LINE!! Families don't realize what they do to one another. Sometimes i think its just best to be alone!
2006-12-02 12:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grr. My mother-in-law did that too for a while. I feel rude, but tell her you need to learn to raise your kids the way you want. She can insert tips, but don't interfere.
~Bailey
P.S. It's not like you uneed to learn how to raise your kids or anything cuz' I don't even know your kids, but it makes it sound a little bit sweeter to mom-in-law. :S Hope this helps you. I'll pray for your situation.
2006-12-02 12:06:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you arre a new mother you need to take action now before its too late!!! For instance say can you let me raise my own childd...really you need to say that just like that... with alot of respect even if you dont like her but thats what you need to do...dont go around it casue she will get to you or even win...
2006-12-02 12:04:25 · answer #6 · answered by maria b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell your husband to talk to his mother about this. let him know how it makes you feel, and that if he is now going to talk to her then you will.if telling her not to do this any more does not stop that you will have no choice other than to limit her visits with the baby.i know this sounds harsh, but if it really bothers you then this is something you may have to do to make her realize that it bothers you.
2006-12-02 12:14:13 · answer #7 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
explain to her that if she doesnt change she will have to stop seeing them as much and only certain times not by herself and tell her you are thae mom and you appreciate everything that she has done and countinue to do but you are the mom and you want to raise your kids your way sjust as she did her own
2006-12-02 12:02:59 · answer #8 · answered by crystal b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her in a nice voice that you simply understand her point but that you know what is best for your daughter. She is more than welcome to come and visit but the decision making is up to you.
2006-12-02 12:02:38 · answer #9 · answered by Karen A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she has done enough here and she can leave. She comes again call the police. I hope this helps!!!
2006-12-02 12:02:18 · answer #10 · answered by sports_gurl_56 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋