After being widowed in my early forties I am happy now with my partner of 11 years but my daughter cannot forget her father and thinks I should be on my own. I thought the problem was over until we visited 3 weeks ago and have seen for myself she is worse than ever. Her husband who I have always liked is just as bad. what has happened I don't know. I love my daughter very much but I am not going to let her spoil my happiness. After returning home after our visit my partner and I have been upset. I have e-mailed her but still no answer. We live 9000 miles away so it is not easy. Any advice anybody?
2006-12-02 03:58:50 · 4 answers · asked by Ellis Missinginaction1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thats awful that your daughter would rather u live on your own 9000 miles away, than with your husband. its time to have a long talk with her. why does she not like your husband? if she does not have a valid reason, than she is the one with the problem not u. she needs to go into therapy because maybe she is not over her fathers death.
2006-12-02 04:04:03 · answer #1 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your partner...are you gay? Some people will never accept that. Live with it and know that what you've done your daughter simply can't forgive you for.
You have a right to your own life but look at what it's cost you. Such is life. I don't know what I can say. If you are gay, it's possible you've shattered your daughter's beliefs right to the core and this is what she cannot accept perhaps because you've made everything you taught her a lie if that is the case.
If you are simply with another man, well that is unreasonable and maybe your daughter needs a pychiatrist or something. It's totally selfish of her to think you should be a martyr for her sake. Maybe you moved on too quickly in her eyes, who knows.
You should try hard to help your daughter heal. I'm sure there is something as a mother, that you have inside of you, that can reach your daughter and help her through this. Just saying she should suck it up isn't good enough. But if she won't and you've tried all that you can then oh well.
So if it's the gay issue, it's one thing, if it's just simply her opinion your life should have ended with her father's then that is purely selfish on her part.
Either way, you've made your decision to live your life on your own terms and be happy. So just do it and accept that this is the price you have to pay for it. If you've truly given it your all, then I wouldn't try so hard to stay in touch anymore. Wait and let it be her who reaches for you. Maybe when she sees you no longer care she'll think again.
In fact you should write her and tell her that you're not going to contact her anymore and if she wants to see you again let it be her move.
2006-12-02 04:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably upset because she feel that you have forgotten about her dad and that is very upsetting to almost all kids. Maybe you can try to tell her that you have not forgotten about him and you still love him but you can stay upset about it forever and that we alll have to move on. Don't forget about him but move on and that he would want you to do that.
2006-12-02 04:04:31 · answer #3 · answered by winniethepooh4991 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your partner, not your husband???????
11 years!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently, your daughter believes in commitment and you don't. It seems she has some real values, and this might be your problem with her.
2006-12-02 11:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋