I came to Arizona 3 months ago to stay with my father and work for a little while until I got my own place. My boyfriend/father of my child came to visit us about 3 weeks ago. But last night my boyfriend and my dad ended up getting into a fist fight and my father went to jail because he hit my boyfriend first. All I remember was that they both started arguing, got in each others faces and then my dad hit him. Now I am being made out to look like the bad guy because of what happened. I didn't make anyone put their hands on anyone so how could I have stopped it? I tried to calm the situation down but male egos and tempers took control. Plus,they were fighting all over the place and the only person I was thinking about was the safety of my daughter. Someone please help. What should i do?
2006-12-02 03:41:23 · 19 answers · asked by chloerochelle102887 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
reguardless of what happened between your dad and boyfriend,your dad will always love you.he is just looking out for your best interest.at the end of the day you are grown and he has to stand by your decisions in life,good or bad.what you need to decide is if you plan on being with your childs father and becoming a family.time mends wounds and egos,and cooler heads will always brevail.try and talk to your dad seperately and then your childs dad,because if you plan on settling down with him your dad and your man have to have some kinda relationship,at least for your childs sake.
2006-12-02 03:52:10 · answer #1 · answered by alexander 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You didnt do anything wrong. Men fighting is not a good thing to be around, especially when obviously they both lost it, and were fighting over you? I'd call too...
I would probably apologize to my dad just to be the bigger person, and hope he would apologize in return for losing his temper. As the older adult, he should understand he should have been the bigger man and not have reacted the way he did. Your bf needs to get out of there, NOW, before your dad gets back and needs to stay away of your fathers home.
Both need a lesson in respect, and need to step up to the plate in being loving men.. to you, and to your daughter.
Good luck, I dont envy you and i bet you feel very torn..
2006-12-02 04:11:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I pride myself on being honest, so I hope I don't hurt your feelings.
#1, You're NOT the bad guy, but you are not thinking right. Why would you be living with the father of your child, homeless and letting a man who is NOT providing for you live with you in the first place?
#2, Why is this man who is not providing for you and your child now living with your father?
#3, Do you expect your father to have any respect for such a man? He's not caring for his grand child and his daughter is now homeless.
#4, Why are YOU working to get yourself ahead? Is your boyfriend's back broken? Is he retarded? Is he illiterate? Why does this man NOT have a job?
You need to think about your daughter and yourself FIRST and put ALL men behind you. Take care of her...sounds like you realize she comes first, but you still need to get rid of that man. He's not any good, or you and your child wouldn't be homeless.
I really wish you good luck.:)
2006-12-02 03:47:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU DID EXACTLY WHAT U SHOULD OF DONE!!! Your daughter comes 1st, not 2 EGOTISTIC, jealous(dads do get that way for u used 2 be his little girl), idiots that act like roosters!!! Not your fault, but I would try to seperate them as soon as possible, get your own place even if it is a dump for now and save your $ up for a better one. Get some state help. Tell the guys that they need some counseling! Mature grown men acting like that in front of a child!!
2006-12-02 03:47:46 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you did what you needed to do you took care of your daughter. The fact of the matter is that we dont always get along and sometimes they just have to work things out. It is too bad that they couldnt work things out without fighting but I would say just try to move on and have the boyfriend keep his distance from your father for a while.
2006-12-02 03:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by threetenor 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ya, i dont think there is anything that you could of done. Girls really cant get in the way of guys fighting! I would just let them both know that you love them. But what they BOTH did is wrong.. There is no reason to fight when there is a child present AT ALL. Plus why be so immature about it..honestly it doesnt solve anything!
2006-12-02 04:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They should have both been arrested #1 and ur BF should leave before ur father hose before he gets out of jail, u r both in his house #2. #3 u did right to protect ur child and if ur BF disrespected ur father for any reason there will forever be bad blood between them and guess who will always be stuck in the middle u guessed it. Nothing to do but stay nuetral and love them both.
2006-12-02 03:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree that there is not a whole lot you can do....but you can pray!
Ask God what to do and listen hard for an answer...He will help you even if it is not the answer you were expecting.
You did the right thing in thinking of your daughter's safety first and foremost!
God Bless You and your family.
2006-12-02 03:52:15 · answer #8 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound like there is much you >can< do.
Your father and your boyfriend are grown (so to speak) male adults. Although, from their recent actions, it doesn't sound like we're dealing with mature individuals. They chose to engage in physical contact with one another, therefore, they must suffer the consequences.
What you need to do is keep your daughter as far away from the situation as you can, keep her, and yourself, safe from the violent atmosphere.
2006-12-02 03:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like your boyfriend moved in and disrespected your dad.
It's your dad's home. No matter what... his place = his rules.
If your boyfriend has a problem with that... he should not stay there.
Obviously, your boyfriend has failed to be fully responsible. Otherwise... you would not be living at your dad's place.
You should, IN MY OPINION, apologize to your dad. Do whatever it takes to get him out of jail. Tell your boyfriend he needs to get his act together.
2006-12-02 03:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by davidcolyer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋