I'm a nice guy who has no trouble meeting women, but a couple of times when I was single and feeling lonely in the big city, I went for a massage and received a "happy ending" or handjob. I do not want to do this again partly because I'm worried about the health risks, but also because I'm afraid a woman may never understand why I did it. (And, yes, it's illegal. Also I worry about the safety of the girls who do that type of work and don't want to contribute to making their lives difficult.)
I have never cheated on any girlfriend I've had. I've never had intercourse with a prostitute and don't want to. But now I'm really worried I've crossed a line that some may not sympathize with.
How would you feel about this? Is it something I should bring up or keep to myself? Thanks for your honest thoughts and advice.
2006-12-02 03:33:25 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you all for so many helpful answers!
2006-12-02 04:03:34 · update #1
There is ABSOLUTELY NO reason anyone has to know what you did in the PAST - whats done in the past stays in the past!! Its no ones business but your own. You said you don't cheat when your in a relationship you have no worries. This is not a problem and it shouldn't be turned into one. Let it go!!
2006-12-02 03:36:58 · answer #1 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I can understand stuff like that, but I'm also a tom boy and think more like a guy than a girl. I do know that a lot of girls wont understand that and think if you did something like that when single you might do it while having a girlfriend. It's not really that big of a deal though and you don't have to tell your girlfriend. If you feel uncomfortable keeping this information from her and decide to tell her you might want to start off telling her that you want to have an honest relationship and you really hope she understands what your about to tell her and you're sorry if it hurts her but you can't stand not telling her this because you want to be open and honest. Good luck with whatever you decide and I hope you find a girl that is good enough for you because you seem like a really great guy and should have a really great girl in return.
2006-12-02 11:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if it was me i would understand. Sex is different but u had no way of picking up any sexual diseases by just having a hand job. U didnt do this when u were with anyone so u weren't hurting anyone. See this as one of those things that a person sometimes does on the spur of the moment and dont worry about it anymore. Its not worth mentioning to any future gf's although if u get asked if it ever happened in the past, whatever u do, DON'T lie!
2006-12-02 11:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
so what you're saying is you're a typical run of the mill guy who liks handjobs? interesting, very interesting. dude, why does it bother you? you were single at the time, and believe me, the girls at some of these massage parlors...well...it's not like they themselves don't know it's illegal or fret over possible health risks. it happens, it's nothing new. not very professional, but don't beat yourself up about it. the fact it bothers you this much must mean you have issues about it. i suggest you see a therapist about this. try working it out before you even begin dating someone new. if it bugs you this much, you may do something stupid and tell your potential gf about it. and believe me, if she ever finds out, she won't be disgusted w/ the act itself, but she'll think you're crazy for 1) telling her your personal business and b) worrying about it. then again, she may not trust you anymore and worry herself you'll repeat it, no matter how you protest. here's my advice: get professional help if it bothers you all that much. don't date anyone until you're sure you're over it and won't go blabbing it to your next gf.
2006-12-02 11:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, just keep it to yourself, what you do with your life while you were single is only your problem. And I think that if somebody love you, it is not because of who you were on your past, but who you are right now and on, how you have treated this person, and what you feel and what she means to you, if some girl ask you about your past, ask her first why she ask for, if it is really important, if she insists well tell her and see what happens, maybe it could be a way to know if this person really loves you.
2006-12-02 12:45:29 · answer #5 · answered by erck78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, I don't think you did anything so unforgiving. Yes, it's illegal, but so is speeding. If I were you, I'd forget it. It was an experience that not everyone you meet has to know about. Even if I found out that happened to my hubby, it wouldn't bother me. But it's not necessary for you to detail every encounter you've had to any potential girlfriend. That was past. This is present. You can't change it, so just chalk it up to an "experience" that you tried and didn't like. Keep it to yourself. Hope this helps ease your mind. Godloveya.
2006-12-02 11:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why you would even >want< to bring something like this up to anyone. It does strike me odd, though, that you went for a massage, and the massage therapist gave you a hand-job?? It maks me wonder what kind of massage therapist this is that you went to.
We all do things in our private lives, and I believe those things should remain private. Why open a can of worms, the past is yours alone, and what you do in your private time, belongs only to you.
If I were entering in to a relationship, and my partner told me he got hand-jobs after his massages, I would seriously have to wonder what kind of person was performing this service >and< getting paid to do it. It would make me rethink becoming intimate with you, that's for sure.
2006-12-02 11:42:15 · answer #7 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her only if youre serious with her and just say it was a one time thing and you didnt even like it cuz the girl was kind of weird (to make her feel better) It's really not a big deal but from now on just stick to your regular massages.
2006-12-02 11:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be Honset!!!!! that is the most important thing in a relationship! And trust me your girlfriend will thank you for it. If you were my boyfriend and You told me about your little "expieriance" i would hope you would apologize and never do it again and i would hope that you could trust me enough to tell you things that bother you. That's what makes up a relationship.
2006-12-02 11:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by Kristiana! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are STD free and have made a vow to yourself that you will never do it again.
I would lock it away as a skeleton in your closet.
I would tell no one and try to forget it ever happened ..
I think it is disgusting and basically just like hiring a street hooker to give you pleasure with her hands..
Prostitution is Prostitution
2006-12-02 11:38:11 · answer #10 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋