yea so ive had boys use me juss for sex and hurt me and just yesterday a detective had to talk to me about a guy i had been with and i cried like big time, i just got a new boyfriend and hes real woried and i dont wanna tell him y. this 1 is a good boyfriend and he rly cares about me and i dont wanna screw that up by telling him my past what should i do?
2006-12-02 03:15:51 · 19 answers · asked by NiCoLe i love my Chi cena! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he really cares about you - he'd understand that you have a past. If you try deceiving him, he's likely to be more gutted the longer it is until he finds out. He'd also think that he couldn't trust you as you hadn't been honest with him. If he doesn't like your past and can't cope with it - then he should walk - Let him.
2006-12-02 03:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by Agony Aunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that you've had such bad experiences in the past. I want you to know something, and you may already have an idea of what it is. You're past is not your present, nor is it your future. Each day is a new beginning. You are, however, being haunted by a past you'd rather not be a part of anymore. That is hard. But you will prevail, and if your new boyfriend is keeper material, so will the two of you. You can't just keep things like this a secret for forever though. He's already got an idea that something is up, you might as well come clean and let him know. Not all the gory details, just an overview, and if you want you can angle it so that it seemingly reinforces the great relationship you two have now. If he's as wonderful as I'm sure he is, he will understand, he may even be able to help you through this. You don't have to be alone, and if he's as smart as you are, he'll know what's past is past, and he has you now. He'll still care every bit as much for you even if your past is not perfect, believe me on this one. I too have an interesting history when it comes to guys, I even have a kid with the worst one possible, and guys are okay with that. They know what is past is past, and they just want you in the present.
2006-12-02 03:25:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
.well everyone makes mistakes in their lifetime.. believe me.. ive made my share also. but you cant forget that there is one thing in a relationship that beats all the other things you need. that is honesty. to really know if he is so good as you make him seem then you have to tell him. how long have you been dating him? as long as its more than 2 weeks i would say it doesnt matter.. it has been long enough. love shouldnt take a few months to discover with a relationship. if you really think that he is a great guy.. then he will understand. a way that guys will not use you for sex is simple. just wait a long time before you do it. you dont have to tell every gut immediatly what happened surely enough if they are a good guy.. they will understand that you dont want to jump right into it. if he pressures you or gets angry.. leave him. its not worth your time to be with someone like that. so in a nutshell... tell him about your past if you trust him.. and if he doesnt understand that you have made mistakes, then maybe give him a little time.. and if he doesnt understand by like a week.. leave him dude. thats the best i could think of... haha
2006-12-02 03:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by Brittany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you are worrying about your boyfriend judging you based on your past. However, that really should not stop you from being open with him. If you don't, you are in risk of screwing it up even worse. More than likely, he will be much more hurt that you never talked to him as oppossed to your past. People can change, and people should be given a chance to start over.
If you are worried about how to tell him, I suggest sitting him down and saying you have something to say. Preface what you say with a statement how about that you know you are no longer like the girl you used to be, but that you think he should be aware of things that could come up in your relationship.
I wish for you the best of luck.
2006-12-02 03:22:42 · answer #4 · answered by hobbes84k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the information slowly maybe in a way he doesnt notice you are giving it to him. Im very happy for you by the way. I dont think you should tell him anything about it for a long time and when you guys are so stuck together you can decide to give him bits and pieces if it is still an issue. If I told my gf about my last gf and how horrible it was and what happened she may be upset but she will never let me go and I would never let her go either.
2006-12-02 03:19:55 · answer #5 · answered by Male16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-30 01:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by huehn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending how close you are with him and if you feel comfortable with him yet then im sure hed understand. know guy that i know that has a decent heart is going to get up and judge you for it. the past is the past and theres nothing you can do about it and hopefully he can see that <33 Best of luck
2006-12-02 03:18:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are going to lie and hide things you have done so when he finds out, and he will, you lose him anyway. And unles you were raped, you let these guys use you for sex, grow up and take responsability for your actions.
2006-12-02 03:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it would good to keep the past where it belongs until your think hes ready for the truth then things should go down hill from there good luck
2006-12-02 03:29:24 · answer #9 · answered by girly_down_n_south 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If "your past" tries to catch up with you, it's best to tell your bf so there isn't any suprises. He can better protect you if need be.
Communication is always best.
2006-12-02 03:18:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋