how can i make him understand???

Question

hiya, have had a few problems with my bf who is a kind hearted person but very niave to the real world, anyways when i try to tell him what i need from him to help make our relationship work, he see's it as a personal insult and says to me it's gotta be your way has it... LOL HELP,, how do i explain the difference i have tried so many ways, he's so pigheaded..

Answer 1

Ok, first of all, you can't MAKE him understand anything. All you can do is try different ways to show him. If he doesn't get it, either agree to diagree or move on. He's turning things into a blame game. Only because it's easier to point the finger rather than associate ourselves with the problem.

Answer 2

you can't change people, especially the pigheaded kind! just forget it. you can ask him to see a therapist, but i bet that'd make things worse. it's best not to even date stubborn people. no matter what their other (good) qualities are, the fact they're stubborn (not to mention naive!) outweighs their good qualities. if you love the guy, and i don't see how anyone can love someone so naive and stubborn in the first place, but heck, if you love the guy, then i guess before you express your needs to him, say something like, i want to tell you something, but i don't want to hurt your feelings. i'm not putting you down, i just want to tell you how i feel or what i need. it's not a personal attack, i'm not saying you've done something wrong. i'm just saying that we haven't been going out that long and we don't know each other that well, so it helps if i tell you what i need from you, so i won't get frustrated. and if there's something you want me to do for you, just tell me. i'll do my best to see it through. the thing is, when you say something like this, you must follow it up w/ something he can actually do for you that you'd like, like rub your feet or cuddle or take out the trash. if you want to change him, or if you think he's naive and pigheaded and feel it your place to tell him so, then forget it. never tell a person his faults. if by your way, he means you want him to see things your way, or act the way you want him to or think he should, then i don't see why you're w/ him in the first place. why bother w/ someone you feel compelled to change anyway? do you need constant challenge in your life? it's best to date/marry someone you feel comfortable w/ and not someone you think is hot but would benefit from some counseling! it's just not worth the trouble. in the end, you'll just resent each other. and you'll have wasted time and energy on one man you could have spent enjoying another! so to recap, if you're going to ask the guy do something JUST for YOU, then open up w/ "you're a wonderful man, but since we don't know each other that well yet, here's what i'd like you to do for me, or to me, etc." and then tell him what it is he can do for or to you that'll satisfy you. then ask him what you can do for him. but again, if you want him to change himself for you, then don't even go there. you should be happy/satisfied w/ a person's character/persoality way way way before you ever agree to go out w/ him. saves you both a lot of grief. hope that helps! best of luck.

Answer 3

Making a man understabd how a women feels or needs is just about impossibble. Maybe you two need to talk and let him tell you whats he needs then you tell him what you need compermise ( I don't think I spelled it right sorry) There is always two sides of a story and needs

Answer 4

well make it come out of his mouth... tell him the flaws and tell him to do something about it.. like he is a guy let him take the step.. and if he doesnt just explain to him that he didint fix the problem so u will fix it for him

Answer 5

try petticoat training punishment lots of web sites on it it will work

Answer 6

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

Answer 7

Pleae say to him, "I love being happy. Don't you want me to be happy?...But I'm NOT happy when you do this, or don't do that....How can you help me to be happier?"