My daughter is to the point that she is so tired of hearing her dad yell at me that she is willing to quit to make it easier and I have told her that this is between the two of us and for her not to worry about it. He is the type of person who feels because we can afford to give them what they want they shouldn't have to work he doesn't even agree with making my son carry out the garbage. I am proud of my daughter for wanting to do this and that is what try to tell him. She has done it for 6 weeks now and has already saved $300 and bought herself somethings she was wanting. He thinks the child supoort should be enough and it is the kids have what they need a lot of wants and still some in the bank for college. I explained if he makes her quit she will resent him and his words were so be it I am not going to have people thinking I can't provide for my kids. He has threatened another court battle over it and I am afraid of that.
2006-12-02 02:48:54 · 7 answers · asked by Martha S 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am divorced too but I pay support. I agree with you completely. The support is to assist you in providing a roof over her head and food on the table. It has nothing to do with her working. He is doing it to give you a hard time....let him take you to court cause any judge will more than likely laugh in his face and yell at him for wasting everyones time.
2006-12-02 02:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by sean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THat's what he's the most pissed off about...that she's making her money and HE'S still paying child support!!! EWWWWW!!! Are you sure we weren't married to the same big asshole?! You are teaching your children to EARN their way in this world!! Does he want them to be dependant on him FOREVER?! Tell him if he can't accept the fact that YOUR daughter is responsible and earning her own money then he doesn't need to talk to her about anything! Tell him also...if your son doesn't take out the trash...YOU'LL just drop it off in his front yard and HE can do that too!!! I swear he's the same man I WAS married to!!! It's a control issue...and he's angry cause HE feels if he keeps the fight going...YOU AND your daughter will bow to his WISHES!!
As for your daughter...tell her to keep up the good work!!! She's doing what some teenagers NEVER learn to do...because they are NEVER taught ! Good work ethic and earning your way through life....As for court...what JUDGE in their right mind will say...He is right?! The judge will say...why is HE wasting the courts time...over the teenager earning money...and learning a good work ethic...Maybe he wants you to be afraid of the court battle...BUT trust me...my ex did this to me...and I finally said...OKAY let's play in court..and while we're there...I'll bring up the issue of MORE child support and supervised visits because YOU fear his MENTAL state isn't all it's cracked up to be...See how fast he drops the COURT talk!!!
2006-12-02 11:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming you are separated or divorced since he pays child support. If the children live with you then you should be able to allow them to work. I would guess that maybe he is just being a jerk to make things harder for you. Children no matter what income bracket they are in should have responsibilities. Otherwise they will grow up to be spoiled, dependent children. You don't want to have to do everything for them when they are 25 or 30. You want them to grow up to be responsible mature adults able to take care of themselves. And you don't want them to have to rely on others to make it.
Do what is best for the children in the long run. If he takes you to court... let him. It will give you an opportunity to show the judge that you are the parent that is trying to teach them responsibility and self respect. Your husband/ex is being unreasonable and childish.
Kathy
2006-12-02 11:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by c2god2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No judge in their right mind will side with him on this issue, if your daughter is working for her wants and learning to save money. Now if the situation was different and she was paying rent or something I can see something wrong. I think you did a wonderful job raising a child that wants to work for what she wants.
2006-12-02 11:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When kids get jobs, they get more than money. They learn a work ethic, and build character. Lots of parents make their kids work to help them become more mature, not for the actual money they earn.
He doesn't want her to work because he thinks it will make other people think he is poor, but most wealthy kids have some sort of job anyway.
2006-12-02 11:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by stevejensen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's your daughter's decision to work if she wants to. nobody is going to cut child support or take your kids away from you because they want to work to earn money for the things that they want. you know, this is the one time i am glad of my ex. he is not the best of anything, but atleast he makes sure that not only do the kids get what they need, and he is meeting his legal obligations, but at special occasions he gives a little extra to make sure that occasion is extra special for them. Sounds to me like your ex should be darned proud that his kids are willing to towkr for what they want and not just rely on mommy and daddy's pockets for stuff. you sound like you are raising some really great kids and you should keep at it. also, sounds like he is pretty controlling and you should be glad to be rid of him as a regular everyday part of your life and houselhold. go girl!
2006-12-02 11:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by Donna L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR DAUGHTER WORKING DOESN'T MAKE HIM ANY LESS OF A PROVIDER, IT WILL PREPARE HER FOR WHEN SHE IS ON HER OWN AND NEEDS TO WORK. CHILDREN WHO ARE TOO SHELTERED GROW UP WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO BE INDEPENDENT, IF YOU ARE ONLY TAUGHT TO RELY ON YOUR PARENTS HOW WILL YOU EVER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF ON YOUR OWN? I THINK HE FEELS LIKE SHE WONT NEED HIM ANYMORE. ITS PROBABLY MORE INSECURITY THAN MACHISMO. AND IF HE BRINGS YOU TO COURT, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT WORKING MAKES YOUR DAUGHTER FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF, AND THAT SHE SAVES HER MONEY AS WELL. WHO WOULD WANT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM A CHILD.
2006-12-02 10:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by lola7737 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋