how to approach my fiancee for reconciliation?

Question

after she said she wanted to go on a break, then she wanted to finish cos i was hurt and pestering her.
i am going to leave it for a while and give her some space.
how should i suggest a date or to meet up somewhere?
how will i know she is interested again?
she said she is coming to my house at xmas i feel that this is the perfect time for reconciliation. she has said she still loves me.
before we broke up she said she was thinking that i should see someone else and see if i felt any regret. i didnt see her point.
when the break started at the weekend she said we could see anybody we wanted. i said i didnt want to, she said "if she met someone she met someone". but i dont think she would do it intentionally! and she said she isnt going to.
how am i meant to feel??

Answer 1

just let things flow for a little bit. don't approach her on christmas. let her know that you love and miss her, but don't make it a big thing. let her know that you respect her need for space and time. and if u end up feeling like u want to spend time with another woman, resist that urge until things are definate w/u two. otherwise she may feel hurt and betrayed. even if she did say that it was ok. i hope things work out for you.

Answer 2

I don't think that you have an objective view of the situation...

Give her the space and just be patient. When you see her at the holidays remember that this time of the year makes people feel sentimental.

She told you it might be a good idea for you to see other people during the break and you chose not to do so. Perhaps it would have been wise to follow her advice.

When someone decides "to go on break" it usually is a prelude to breaking up. She may still love you, no doubt. The question is - is she in love with you. Big difference.

My guess is that is why she needed the break.

Just because someone loves you does not necessarily mean that you are meant to be together in a marriage.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Sorry to hear of your dilemma. It's a little difficult to post an answer when you're only getting a piece of the story, but my general rule of thumb is that you're allowed one break up. If during that time you both realize the mistake and can work out the issues, by all means, reconcile. Multiple breakups suggest to me an unhealthy relationship.

Breakups are hard, especially during the holidays, but hang in there. The instinct to give her space is definitely a good one as your insecurity about the situation may stifle her and send her running. I don't doubt that she still loves you - you sound very caring and you've invested so much in each other. She will definitely let you know in no uncertain terms where she stands on your relationship so just be patient and wait. Tip: Watch her body language and listen to what she is and isn't saying...the message should become clear.

All the best.

Answer 4

Ahhh, breathe and now take a deep breath....Relax

Don't you think it should not be this hard....so here's the thing...you have some soul searching to do.

You have a Right to a ROCKING RELATIONSHIP.....and both of you need to redefine your needs and wants.....talk everything over..

1. What about who works
2. What about who cleans the bathroom...after you share living quarters.
3. What about working - and ....putting each other first?
4. What about family - where do they fit in ...after the I do's.
5. What about friends..........same as #4
6. What about your dreams to complete both of your educational goals.......both remember.
7. What about saving money - what goals for both
8. What about spending money - what are the goals here?
9. What about love.............how do each of you handle rejection....yes....by the world....if you have a bad day?
10. How do you handle ....breakups......do you turn to others...or back to each other.......will you make it a habit...to discuss everything.....before you go to bed at night...and not in the bedroom...?
11. There is no perfect time.....and don't confuse holiday time with what needs to be discussed now.

12. Have you made your peace with GOD - where does GOD come into this relationship? GOD loves challenges...so go ahead give your future and faith ...to GOD....ask GOD to bless you and all of your dreams.

YOU have a right to a ROCKIN RELATIONSHIP...now go for it!

Answer 5

flowers, buy her a nice gift. just like the commercial says. ""every kiss begin with Kay""

Answer 6

She may not be cheating, but she sure thought about it. Wait for her to call you.

Answer 7

Just speak to her first.