message came thru and opened it . she then proceeded to look at all my incoming and outgoing text messages. i have been communicating with an ex-boyfriend and good friend for over 20 yrs. we have recently been sending some "fun" pics to each other. needless to say, my daughter is not talking to me and told me that i am disgusting and pathetic. i actuallly started defending myself saying it was just a joke. then i thought "oh my god, how dare she go into my personal business. please, how should i handle this ?? oh, and she also told me that she told my other daughter and ex-husband !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-02 01:35:25 · 13 answers · asked by m210max 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are an adult and can basically do with your life as you wish,,no doubt she too and all the rest of those who proceed to judge have had or will have fun such as this,,do not apologize for this,,she is in the wrong and should really say sorry,,it is Private and you now feel embarrassed for something you had a right to keep to yourself and the fellow you are in contact with,,if they continue to act this way let them know you have nothing to feel ashamed of and you will not feel bad,,if they want to judge you for something so 'ordinary',,let them,,its their loss.you have a right to have fun,,to feel and make someone else feel special,to laugh at yourself and your silliness,it is all part of text and phone play and we have all done it.
2006-12-02 01:52:01 · answer #1 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say she is 20 years old and even though she is a young adult, she still see's you as her mother. The one that does no wrong. The caretaker and the teacher. It is kind of like, when children accidentally witness their parents having sex. It is horrifying for them!
However, you are entitled to a life. You should not be ashamed and especially you shouldn't lie. Tell her the truth. Tell her that you are an adult with desires and feelings, other then being a mom. Explain that although your her mom you are human....you are a woman! I am sure she will understand because she has desires as well and express it in terms that she can relate with. It is hard being a parent, because we walk on both sides of the fence. We are here to teach out children, show them right from wrong and give them guidance. But we make mistakes, as we are entitled too, we have desires, we long for love and happiness and sometimes those things do not always involve them. But we can make everyone happy, just by sharing our feelings and our fears and our desires and letting them know we are people too. I hope this helps. Enjoy your life and enjoy your daughters.
Good Luck.
2006-12-02 03:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by megabites42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a very sensitive situation. First of all, your daughter was wrong to peep into your private fun/sex life. Whatever you did for fun maybe unexpected to her, or she hasn't done it yet, so, she doesn't consent to that. It is also worse that she told other people about your personal life. Tell her that it doesn't matter you are disgusting or not, but it is private sex life and she shouldn't snoop into yours and tell other about it. Try to separate the 2 facts that you are having fun and she is violating your privacy. Because not only you want to defend and explain yourself that you are having fun, there are a little "animal" in all of us when it comes to sex, ( does she goes down on a man, will she do "this" and "that" with her boyfriend or future husband? The thing that kids do now and then may not be acceptable to your as a parent neither) but you also want to educate her about the privacy violation. I think she will be pissed if you look at her daily dairy.
Finally, as I mentioned earlier this is a sensitive and dedicate matter between a mom and daughter. While you want to educate your daughter, you also don't want to ruin the relationship, so be calm and collective when you explain to her, or maybe just write her a letter to get your points/opinions to her first and then you may have a round table with her and the other daughter as well, after.
P.S. Just my 2 cents thought, good luck!
2006-12-02 02:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by nightdude123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahh, that is funny! Well, not really. But it sounds like something i would do to my mom, but of course she is a total loser and deserves it. I would just let your daughter know that what she did was not cool and that you are a mature adult and you can do whatever you want on YOUR cell phone. Unless of course she is paying the bill, which i doubt, then she can check your text messages, but it is not like you are a child that needs your 20 year old daughter keeping tabs on you! Good luck and have fun! The whole picture thing rocks.....i send pics to my fiance while he is at work and it really makes it fun when he gets home cause he lets me know he has been thinking about me all day!
2006-12-02 01:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st ooopsy on you ,,,
,,I personally believe that your daughter had no buisness in your purse and on your personal cell...
I would let her know that it is ultimately your decision since the last time you looked , you were old enough to run your own life...
Kids can make parents feel really guilty when we do something that is against what they believe is right...
So that you know, I am not for sending pics to anyone that are of questionable taste.. Only because , you have no idea who is looking at them...
Get ready for a big nasty battle with those kids... ewwwww I am glad I am not in your shoes...
From now on, if you insiSt on sending steamy pics, lock your phone.. You can put a code in it so that only you know it....ITS FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION YA KNOW...
GOOD LUCK GIRL....
2006-12-02 01:46:03 · answer #5 · answered by Joann 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. I sympathize with you. i'm 24 and whilst i replaced into her age, which enable's settle for it replaced into modern-day, i did no longer choose my dad and mom understanding something approximately my very own existence as a results of fact I felt like they might disapprove. in fact, they might have as a results of fact I wasn't being an somewhat sturdy person. If she would be ready to no longer communicate with you, it's time to have a take a seat down whilst she does get returned and enable her understand the domicile regulations. If she's sneaking off to make certain the boyfriend it quite is fantastic, it quite is her existence to make a screw up (i understand that sounds harsh, yet no longer ordinary love and all that) inspite of the undeniable fact that the least she could do on account which you're offering her a house to return to is have the decency to provide help to recognize the place she is each now and then. As cliche because it sounds you may consistently use the "mendacity ineffective in a ditch someplace" to get your element in the time of. attempt finding up the lacking persons cases on your areas that have not ended properly and positioned them in front of her. carry on the water works if in any respect obtainable. If she keeps after that, you may evaluate putting mutually a probationary settlement the place if she violates your regulations some thing like changing the locks happens. Make it genuine for her, as a results of fact ideal now she's basically used to you being her fall returned. make useful she is familiar with that no remember what if she desires you, you would be there for her, inspite of the undeniable fact that it quite is time for her to advance up and understand existence isn't a loose journey. On her end, she's probable doubtful as to who she is and not questioning relating to the super image. How will a toddler replace her existence? the place will she be residing if she will't additionally be ready to stay with him and his dad and mom and she or he's making it no longer ordinary so you might maintain letting her stay with you? My mom's technique replaced into very similar to what i'm telling you. She did no longer do the probationary settlement, yet she sat me down and instructed me in no uncertain words that she wasn't going to stand by and watch me screw up my existence. So i could the two get my act mutually or locate someplace else to stay. sturdy success! I want you no longer something however the terrific! and your daughter too.
2016-10-17 14:49:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would explain to her that what she did was wrong. You don't check out her phone and her text messages because you respect her privacy. What you do on your phone as a consenting adult is your business and your business only.
2006-12-02 01:42:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she'll get over it, you dont have to defend yourself, she was the one looking at your messages, and shouldnt have been, she got her nose into your business, and didnt like what she found out shes not the mom, she the daughter, and you can do what you want...just have your fun, and she can have hers...
2006-12-02 01:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you have a sex life - big deal! Lucky you. Tell her to get over it. She snooped - she's the loser, not you. Have fun. Send way more pictures and talk dirty, whatever's fun. Be proud to have a friend who finds you sexy. Just laugh it off - it really is no big deal. Tell your daughter to get a life (they hate it when your life seems more fun than theirs!).
2006-12-02 01:45:16 · answer #9 · answered by Miz Teri 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not her house,not her business,plain and simple.
2006-12-02 03:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by Vtmtnman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋