dear gentlemen only please/answer this honestly for me and others?

Question

the man im with for 1yr and 4 mo has never been married. he is 47 years old. not that i will marry him. however, he has had some serious relationships and has never married. i asked him why and he said he has to save up enough money.(RIGHT) if thats the case he will never marry. it sounds like an excuse to me? i think he wants me or i feel he wants me just to have someone to be with. very seldom do i hear i love you. we dont have sex,love like a new relationship/ no foreplay man? every nite i hear im tired and i dont even mention i wanna but i know what he means.he can do what he wants and talk to who he wants but i cant or im no good. of coarse his mom has lived with him for 47 years and i find that alittle different. dont get me wrong its okay if you have a life and the moms not trying to run it. so whats a woman to do? you tell me and ill give you my points all 10. also i do love him BUT, im beginning to have mixed emotions. am i waisting my time im not ugly,big. tell me the deal?

ladies you may want to comment if you have experienced this kind of situation.

Answer 1

The guy is obviously a momma's boy and will live with his mother until she passes on. You already state that you are not currently interested in marrying him and it doesn't seem like he wants to get married either.

What you have to decide is whether or not you truly are happy in this relationship and also if you can continue on in the relationship as it currently stands because it will not change for the better.

When his mother does pass on, he will look for someone to take over the mother role for him and will expect anyone that he's going out with to do for him what his mother has done for the past 47 years. If this is something that you are interested in, then continue dating him. If not, then ask yourself why you still want to be with him if he can't give you what you want?

Answer 2

After 47 years, this man has developed an attitude on relationships that you're never going to be able to change. His devotion towards his mother is deeper than the feelings that he has for you and that will never change also. Are you willing to take a back seat as long as his mother is still alive? If not, I suggest you cool your relationship with him and try to go on with your life. I have never seen this type of union last and I doubt that I ever will. Do you have that much time to waste? There are many ways to transition yourself out of this. My advice is to find an organization (usually church sponsored) that has singles dances or pitch-in's and start going to those regularly. You will form friendships that will give you a better chance on finding someone who could be a suitable replacement.

By the way, I'm a 51 year old male and what you're saying about your boyfriend leads me to believe that his interest in you is far less than your interest in him. I believe you're heading in the wrong direction. It sounds to me like he's leading you on. Good luck.

Answer 3

Keep in mind, the older a man or a woman gets the more inset of routine they become. If your not feeling what you want to feel you already know the answer. If you have given all that you have to make the fire rear in your relationship and their is no res ponce it is a dead issue. You need to make him feel that he needs you. Don't make yourself so available, and do not badger him about this. make him think that your busy with your friends and in the mean time don't allow yourself to get so upset. He's 47, set in his tracks like a train. To change a man is like changing a leopard. Maybe its time to slowly push away, and if a man says he can do what he wants and your no good for doing the same then its all one sided and where is the fairness in that. Sit down and analyze what your situation holds and what the future will brings. Then go from there.

Answer 4

Maybe...and it is just a maybe - he has a problem which he is hiding from you. Either he has a performance problem or some deep-rooted psychological fear about something which prevents him from being involved with a woman. You have spent a little more than a year with him. Iam sure with love, kindness, patience and effort you will be able to gently help him release his block. You love him, don't you? If you do, I think it will be well worth the effort to spend some more time seeing if you can make this relationship work. At the end of the day, either which way, you would have done the best you could in this relationship. All the best.

Answer 5

Never married, age 47, feeble excuse not to change the status quo, lives with mom, not mature in how to treat women, double standard, and, if I read you right, little foreplay. Real parade of red flags here. Even if he turns out not to be gay, he sounds like a momma's boy and you've got a lot of work to do to bring him up to real-man standards of adult love. May not be worth the work, you decide. Good luck.

Answer 6

~Okay "Dick," he's 47, never been married, and lives with his mom. He also tells you he wants to wait until he has money before he gets married, doesn't want to have sex with you, especially foreplay. Do you see any red flags here???

I don't care about the 10 points, but what concerns me is that your name is "Dick" and you are seeing a man.
He doesn't love you, you are "wasting" your time. Stop being a door mat.~

Answer 7

The important thing is not what we think but what you think. It seems to me that the answer is in front of you but you don't believe ir or want confirmation. Perhaps you don't recognize that you know the answer because you don't LIKE the answer. I wouldn't either had I invested 16 months in a person. It takes great courage to recognize and face reality.
Of course it's an excuse. Tell him how you feel and give him a chance to act but set a deadline if you like.

Answer 8

check it lady, do u want 2 get married eventually? if the answer is yes then leave and if no then dont trip. i do ponder the no sex thing though. do u two fulfill each other? b true 2 the reality of the situation not your feelings and u will b fine.

Answer 9

i'm a 47 year old man myself, but i can tell you what a woman is to do in this situation. get out. if you have that much love to give, and he refuses it, you are wasting your time. find a man who wants a true partner. he still lives with his mother? his name is not norman bates, is it?

Answer 10

Maybe he's just never grown up and he's not responsible enough to make a real commitment. I don't understand why you or any woman would be with a person that won't commit.