Ungrateful Mother... PART 2..?

Question

I asked a question before about my mother. I'd won £5k's worth of
holiday vouchers and shared them with her & my brother booking her a holiday to St Lucia in Feb 07. She then said I'm not going even though the vouchers/holiday were non-refundable or transferable.So £2k is just gone. I phoned up the airline and they say they'd consider reunding if she got a medical note to say she can;t travel as she has to care for my sister who has Lupus. The real reason is she says she won't get holiday pay.
Anyway she refuses point blank to make steps to refund me the £2k so I have now gone to a solicitor..
The reason I have done so is that I used £2k of the vouchers myself to go to Mauritius with my son but got into debt as I did not go all inclusive as I could have done. As I shared the vouchers with her I had to spend a lot of money went I got there. Was I unjustified to go to a lawyer
See other question is necessary:
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvqUXF0y9x.6UacAfi.kqgvsy6IX?qid=20061119120104AAUVULD

Being my mother is immaterial.. she should never have done this to me...

Lola... she told me the dates she wanted to go and I booked for those dates. She knew from the start the tickets were non-refundable as they were won in a competition!!!

Actually the vouchers cost me nearly 3 months in time and effort to win them. I had to design a webpapge and i spent about 13-16 hours a day on it trying to win the competition!! I did not win them out of the blue!

Right so just because she is my mother I have to let her treat me like dirt.. I bought her a really expensive ring once which she criticised as the diamonds were too small. When I bought her a bunch of yellow roses she said she hated the colour, when I bought her dinner at the Ritz for her and a friend she tried to give it to someonelse... enough is enough...

Dimplemium.. I suggest you read my question. Firslty I said she refuses to get a medical note and she refused to take out travel insurance at the time that I booked it.
Secondly I did sweat to win this working over 13 hours a day to design a webpage.. learn to read!!

Answer 1

There are so many mothers from hell out there, I have one too and I think you should do it for all of us poor girls who have to put up with this kind of behaviour.
What an ungratefull selfish old hag, just like mine.

Answer 2

I think you were wrong. Next time you win something try finding out first if the person can go, and don't ever get any nonrefundable tickets in the future. Chalk it up to a lesson learned the hard way. All an attorney is going to do is cost you even more money.

Life is too short to ruin a relationship over money. Get over it.

OK I read your earlier post. Now let me get this straight, you really didn't have the cash, just vouchers for travel tickets. You really are out nothing at all, unless you could have turned in the vouchers for cash and kept the cash instead.

When you buy your mother things for presents you obviously have taste that is different than hers, so just get her gift certificates, that way she can choose her own gifts and make sure they are for stores where she actually shops.

And if your mother can't go because she won't get paid while she's gone, that sounds like a really good reason to cancel a trip. Maybe she thought she had vacation time left or that because it was a new year that she would have the vacation time for the new year. Missing two weeks pay can bankrupt a lot of people.

Answer 3

You knew that your Mum has a way about her that is different from you. You either accept it or continue with solicitor. You need to remember that at the end of the day she is your Mother no matter what.
You argue and sometI'mes get thing wrong with each other, she is human and will make mistakes as im sure have you to her. The job of mother doesn't come with any guarantee's, the one you have might not be perfect but she is the only one you will ever have.
You sometimes have to be the one to say sorry even if its not your fault. Respect her for who she is and accept her for all her faults too. That's what real family's do. Stick together.
Relationships in family's are not always easy and I should know my Mum is hard work, but we both work on it together like a marriage.
I wish you good luck and I hope you can find it in your hart to try with you mum and not fight with her.

Answer 4

It's about time you punished your mother for behaving the way she has over the years and from what you've told us, suing her may be the best way to do it; it might teach her to treat other people better. I agree with Currynut when she says: "I think you should do it for all of us poor girls who have to put up with this kind of behaviour." I'm going to repost Anna's comment too because I agree with it 100% as well:

"I would just like to say I do NOT think you are over-reacting. I have a mother who thinks she can do as she pleases, regardless of other people's feelings or what affect her actions will have on ohters & I think good for you for standing up for yourself!

All those nice things you've done for your mother before & she obviously doesn't appreciate it. I know she's your mum but that is so incredibly selfish. She's taking you for such a ride.

I don't think you're unjustified for going to a lawyer, you obviously explained & she understood the terms & conditions, it is so terribly ungrateful of her to just disregard everything for her own sake.

You obviously put a lot of time & effort into something you really wanted & she's flagrantly diregarding your efforts as nothing & swanning off at her leisure.

You do what you feel is right because she shouldn't keep being allowed to get away with doing whatever the hell she wants.

Sorry for rambling on but it really annoys me, I sympathise with you having a mother equally as selfish & ungrateful.

Good luck to you in the future I hope this gets resolved for you."

Answer 5

I would just like to say I do NOT think you are over-reacting. I have a mother who thinks she can do as she pleases, regardless of other people's feelings or what affect her actions will have on ohters & I think good for you for standing up for yourself!

All those nice things you've done for your mother before & she obviously doesn't appreciate it. I know she's your mum but that is so incredibly selfish. She's taking you for such a ride.

I don't think you're unjustified for going to a lawyer, you obviously explained & she understood the terms & conditions, it is so terribly ungrateful of her to just disregard everything for her own sake.

You obviously put a lot of time & effort into something you really wanted & she's flagrantly diregarding your efforts as nothing & swanning off at her leisure.

You do what you feel is right because she shouldn't keep being allowed to get away with doing whatever the hell she wants.

Sorry for rambling on but it really annoys me, I sympathise with you having a mother equally as selfish & ungrateful.

Good luck to you in the future I hope this gets resolved for you.

Answer 6

Sounds like an awkward situation.

My experience of solicitors is they like to bill people hard. To appoint a solicitor over a £2000 debt... well my solicitor is £190 an hour + VAT. I don't know what a local town one would charge.. but still a whack I should imagine... to recover £2000. I'd say you'd be looking at a few hours work.

And at the end you would only recover the vouchers themselves I do believe - not a cash return, unless you forced your mother to return cash... but what legal standing you would have to get someone to return a gift.... would be difficult in my opinion.

Personally I'd chalk it down to experience. Awkward situation.. sounds a bit like my own mother when she's in a drinking phase.

I'd try and talk your Mom around.. even offer her a few hundred pounds cash sweetener if she proceeds with whatever course of action you can take to get the Airline/Travel Agent to refund your vouchers for her holiday.

Answer 7

I understand that your angry with your mother, who would not be but going to a solictor is too far. The holiday to St Lucia was a gift after all, even if she has chosen now, not to go. I dont think you will get far with this one, only the solicitor will make, putting you more in debt.
Learn from your mistakes, move on and try to get over this. Dont get me wrong I dont think this will be easy to do but carrying on will only make you ill. Is falling out with your family worth it in the long run?
Instead, speak to the solicitor about the airline, surely out of good faith and under the circumstance they could change the names on the tickets.

Answer 8

Yes, your mother is unreasonable. Lots of mothers are unreasonable. She is still your mother though. Is it worth ruining your relationship with her over? It was kind of you to give her the vouchers, but they cost you nothing (yes, I know you could have spent them on yourself, but you didn't) and to demand £2k from her is over the top. Can she afford to hand over £2k? I would imagine that's quite a lot to someone who can't afford to go on holiday because they wouldn't get paid. I don't think you really want people's opinions on this, you just want justification for suing your mother. You have obviously NO interest in what anybody is saying, unless it validates your opinion. I have no idea what you hope to gain from this, but I sympathise more and more with your mother.

Answer 9

Why would you want to take your own mother to a solicitors, think that´s going a bit to far , Maybe your mum need´s to work hard for her money , and if it means loosing her holiday pay , and why are you making a big fuss, It´s not as if you had to sweat for this money , think you should just ask your mum to get a note from the doctor , get your money back , and like that you´ll be happy , and if my daughter did a thing like your doing to your mother, I would tell her where to go. How is the ungrateful one ?

Answer 10

Doesn't matter if she is your mother, u can't choose your family. I think u were more than generous and she was totally wrong to do what she did, especially since u have now got ito debt. Sue her and make her pay u back.

I answered your other question and I remember it well cos I thought she was totally out of order