2006-12-01 22:36:31 · 39 answers · asked by ala.sunnybunns 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is not wrong! Tell him that he needs a boyfriend that the two of you can share too!
2006-12-01 23:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I am a crossdresser male to female and 51 years old.
I would say it would be completly wrong to hope that you are anyone else can cure him. He can't help it or he probably would have cured himself long ago.
It is also unlikely that he is gay. It occurs just as much or even less in the crossdressing population. Besides that he married a female.
Society does have a double standard. How would you feel if you were not allowed to wear pants? or for that matter if you were not allowed to wear a pretty dress.
You do need to clarify if he will ever have a sex change or anything that would or would not be acceptable to you. His answer could be, "I do not know". Be prepared for that.
Talk to him in a calm manner and have a list of what you want to ask him.
One thing he did do wrong was not to tell you of this desire before marriage. Many of us are shy and scared about what will happen if others find out.
I think he loves you enough and trust you in keeping his secret, but be warned the older we get the more out we get.
I found that many of my fears were unfounded. Last year I traveled by air (dressed female) and went on a gambling trip, with a genetic girlfriend. I dressed female the whole time, and used my male ID. I had absolutely no problem and many people were very friendly. My girlfriend and I both had a great time.
Hope some of this helps. I know it is not easy.
2006-12-04 12:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, this is not wrong. There is nothing wrong with a man desiring to crossdress. Men have worn 'woman's' fashions for years. Only over the past 80 or so years has society decided that it is wrong. After all, women can wear men's fashions and no one cares.
The Harry Benjamin site has lots of good info on it, as well as Tri-Ess, the APA, and more.
Crossdressing can be very relaxing and exciting. There is no proof that is is harmful or that it predisposes something else. As a matter of fact, most crossdressers are heterosexual and are in monogamous relationships and hold main stream jobs. Even the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition shows that there is nothing wrong with Crossdressing.
Go with it and have fun. If you and he are the same sizes, you can double your wardrobe.
2006-12-04 03:33:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most people have a problem with crossdressing, because they have never met one and have never even interacted with one, including most of the people on this post. It's the simple, honest, single answer for their fear.
There ARE couples who crossdress and they REALLY love each other. What's wrong with that ? NOTHING. They are free as a bird to express themselves in or out of the bedroom however they wish and there's nothing you can do about it morally, religiously or legally. It is their world. Your rights end where their noses begin, period and the police know this so beware.
I have been with PLENTY of women who like me in a skirt and absolutely none of them complain. I get compliments all the time about my skirting around, they actually like the look and ask for it personally. I have also seen a LOT of couples out in public with both or only the male in a knee length denim or knit skirt and to be honest it's very trendy, stylish and very comfortable for the male. It's good for his health to be honest and that's a major benefit for her, but it doesn't stop there.
It's about self expression, it should never been about anyone else other than your lover, period. If there's any question about your sexuality, ignore it, because you know he's straight due to proven studies that 98% of crossdressers are straight males, period. Second, men don't progressively as a rule evolve into gay land (nothing against gays here, they're fine), but the average crossdresser isn't going to want to go away from his girlfriend for another male. That's some sort of fantasy a lot of people have in their mind which is frankly disturbing -- it's THEM thinking that, not the crossdresser...
Finally, truthfully -- I've seen a LOT of crossdressers with women out there in restaurants, clubs, malls, bookstores, on bikes, hiking, at the beach, in the store, WalMart, furniture outlets, theme parks, zoos, beaches and a whole plethora of other places and not a single one of them every encountered any resistance other than the occasional giggle or stupid comment. Frankly, crossdressers are usually very much smarter than the average male, they are very much better parents hands down -- and this has beeen scientifically proven as a FACT, it's not just hearsay -- and nothing makes them more suitable for a lady who likes to see her man in something stylish, comfortable and healthy.
My recommendation -- if you crossdress or you're with someone who does, get together, agree with your lady or man on what's acceptable and in style, grab a denim skirt and just go out. Enjoy yourselves, enjoy your health and most importantly of all enjoy your fun together as one, because that's what's really truly, honest most important, each other ! :">
2014-12-20 04:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As for wrong or right, that depends on who you ask. Are you comfortable with it? Is it working for you? If so, then do it, but if he starts going to gay clubs, dressing in drag all the time and wanting to date men, then you might need to reconsider. Is this something he has always wanted to do or is this just some random thing that popped into his head? You have to look at the surrounding circumstances.
2006-12-02 01:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should lay some ground rules. If you have children, he should absolutely NOT do it in front of them. Makes things way too confusing for them, especially any sons.
You probably won't be able to stop him from doing it, whether you say yes or no. I would say you need to figure out if this is a deal breaker for you or not. It is most definitely a major challenge.
Good luck.
2006-12-02 01:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong, legally or morally. A person can do whatever they want without hurting anyone or themselves.
You shouldn't let him. If you do; he might decide he's gay/a woman inside. In either case, he won't want to be with you and you can say goodbye to you marriage.
To stop him from doing it, tell him that he is a man and that he should suck it up. Tell him not to be such a wuss.
2006-12-01 22:41:27 · answer #7 · answered by rishi_is_awake 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No
Only you can decide if you should "let" him. If you're really interested you should read up on cdressing. The book "My Husband Wears My Clothes" would be a good start. From there you can have a clear frank discussion with your husband about expectations.
Luck
2006-12-01 23:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he was mine, I'd let him. But then, I always loved dress-ups!!
Lol, it's normal, nothing wrong with it, just with society's perceptions. It doesn't mean he's gay, or twisted, or anything else... It means he likes wearing girl's clothes.
And why do they call it "cross" dressing anyway? Who said I couldn't wear boys clothes if I wanted to, or that my bf couldn't try on a dress should it take his fancy??? In scotland, they wear kilts, is that wrong? Or that man skirt sported by Brad Pitt and David Beckham?
Grrr. Let him do as he wants. Support him. Love him. And that means ALL of him.
2006-12-01 22:46:44 · answer #9 · answered by Callisto 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
u loved him when u married him?
well now he's comfortable enough to let u into that side of him. if u love him, then support him.
if he does find he's gay (which not all fetishists are) then he is still someone u love, and life will work out.
be there for ur husband. he is not strange - most people have fetishes of some kind.
if u love him, be there for him. if u don't - then ur the one with the problem.
2006-12-01 22:59:49 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He'll do it whether you "let him" or not if his mind is gendered in that direction. I have a lot of experience with a man like that...my ex husband.
First I discovered his little secret, then he wanted to have sex with me dressed in that sh!t, then it went to clubs that featured transsexual entertainment, then it went to where he wanted to experiment with other males. Then he wanted me to agree for him to have a gender change operation.
I would pack my bags and get the h3ll out right now. He's got more issues floating around in there than you are aware of.
2006-12-01 23:24:23 · answer #11 · answered by slick chik 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋