I commited myself to a guy whom i don't know who really he is. At first he is so caring and give a lot attention to me, i feel that i am special to him. we've got married and live together happily and now i am pregnant. I discover him that he is bi-sexual attract to his same sex. Help what i'm going to do? I love him my feeling to him is the same though i know already that he is bi-sexual. I'm afraid that one day he will leave me because he don't love me that all he wanted is his same sex not me his wife. I'm pragnant is there any posibility that our relationship will be save because of our coming baby?
2006-12-01 19:42:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I think its been pretty well proven that baby's don't fix relationships no matter what the issue.
His commitment for you shouldn't be any different than your commitment to him. When you married you agreed to forsake all others, that means other men for a straight woman. He agreed to forsake all others as well, meaning both men and women for a bisexual man.
While no one can predict the future, I can tell you that jealousy and suspicion ruins more relationships than their sexual preferences. Get counseling before it becomes an issue.
2006-12-02 02:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the real question is, if he is, can you deal with that. You may not be able to. How is his sex drive with you? does he like it alot? or does he only seem interested once in a while? Does he make excuses why he can't come to bed? Tired? tv? Does he avoid it. Anyone can make a child. It only takes a time or two is you are lucky, but a gay man can not be interested in reg. sex with a women. A bi man may be, but if he's bi, then he would be getting some action on the side. Its really a lose lose situation for you. I guess my advice would be to not 'confront' him but to sit down when you both have the time and just talk to him about it. But before you do, you need to make sure you can deal with the answer. If you can deal with it, he may not want to admit it, but if he knows you are ok, you might get him to open up and talk, if he thinks you will freak out, then he will deny it. Good luck.
2016-03-13 01:35:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breathe!! Just because it turns out he is bisexual does not mean you're doing anything wrong or that he's going to leave you or cheat on you. It simply means that he's attracted to both sexes. I can understand why you have insecurities considering you're pregnant but hang in there. Your marriage isn't doomed. However, since communication is key in every relationship, you need to talk with him about these insecurites and like the others have suggested, maybe counseling if your mind isn't at ease after conversing with him about it. But there's no reason why you cannot have a happy family with him and your baby. Good luck.
2006-12-01 20:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do not agree with Shoby Shoby. You have good reason to be concerned. Since he is attracted to both men and women, you obviously can't fulfill him in both departments. I would be more worried that he would bring a sexually transmitted disease home to you and the baby to be more than anything. If he didn't feel that the bi-sexuality would be a problem with you, he would have brought it up before you were married. Not very fair of him, which leads me to believe he is hiding something, or perhaps those feelings of needing a man are getting closer to the surface. Unfortunately, I don't think there is much you can do about it. Talk to him. Let him know how much you love him and are trying to understand. But let him know that, for the sake of fairness and your commitment, you would expect he be honest with you if he ever feels the need to be with a man. You would try to understand. However, I would personally have a lot of trouble with this. Knowing that he may be putting me at risk by sleeping with another man is a lot more risky than if he slept with another woman. I think, once the baby is born, you should consider re-evalutating your relationship with him. I don't mean to sound so glum, but I have known men who are now outwardly gay that were once married and claimed to be bisexual. I think they were gay all along. And you deserve so much more. My prayers are with you.
2006-12-01 19:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Why should the fact that he's bisexual make you feel any less secure than if he were heterosexual?
The chances of him running off with someone else are the same regardless of his sexual preference.
It sounds like you are inventing situations in your head and then worrying about them. This sort of behaviour is often what drives people to have affairs, as it implies that you clearly don't trust him.
Why don't you stop worrying, and start trying to enjoy what you've got. If you're not enjoying it, then why are you worrying that it may come to an end?
2006-12-01 19:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by shoby_shoby2003 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Bi Sexual means that he can be with either and has no preference. It does not mean he is going to go out and cheat on you. If he thinks that is what it means then he needs to go on and you need to let him go. He is no good for you if he thinks he can go mess with anyone he pleases. People have this misconception about the word Bi-sexual and they think it means you can go around with anyone you want at any time. Cheating is cheating and it does not matter if you are straight, gay, or bi.
2006-12-01 19:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
As far as I can see it, there's really no problem. You're happily married, expected a baby, with a commited husband who is attracted to you. He doesn't have anybody else as far as you're describing it... He must love you. So why worry? It's all good and life is beautiful. Congratulations on the baby.
2006-12-01 20:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, a baby has never saved a bad marriage. If your marriage is bad it will take a lot more than that to save it.
You didn't say if you expect him to be monogamous, or if that is important to you. If you are like me and expect your spouse to be monogamous I don't see what difference it makes what gender he's not sleeping with.
2006-12-02 00:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Babies ALWAYS complicate things. It never improves a relationship. It TESTS THEM. So sorry for you....he's a cad for not telling you before marriage and selfish for allowing you to get pregnant. I'd definately be concerned...and if he follows his desire outside the marriage, he could bring home STD's or worse!
2006-12-01 19:47:03 · answer #9 · answered by moosie2026 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
From the way you describe it, ma'am, I don't think so.
However, I'm not the Expert.
May I suggest that you both see a good Counsellor?
2006-12-01 19:46:28 · answer #10 · answered by Daimyo 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋