Sould I stay with my Husband if he like to drink and put his friends first.And family 2nd,?

Question

I have been married for 14years, when we have moved into our new place, He had meet some new friends that are just a bit younger then him, he thinks that he needs to drink and stay out almost all night,(400am) he'll be home,
and the kids tell me (mom why are you still married to dad,all he cares about is this friends and that beer.
I know that I have to do something about it. And I know that we have to leave, This had been goin on for about two years, and I have tried to sit and talk to him but nothing has happend yet, all talk no show.
What do u think that I need to do? I think that I know what i have to do

Answer 1

Girlfriend, It seems so strange because we are in the same boat...My situation was that my hubby mom passed and after that he felt like he needed to live his life and that has been 3 years ago...I tried and tried and all we did is argue...He met new single friends and he hung out til about the same time or later....After awhile I just stop arguing because it just nagged him and kept him out there longer....

Girl, I started making arrangements to leave my hubby and made sure he knew what I was doing because he was ease dropping and I kept trying to talk to him and not yell.....Then a month ago when he got tired of being out there he sat down and just spilled the beans...He told me a lot....He explained what he was doing...who he was doing and where he was going....Girlfriend, if you are tired, don't fear that next step...I was scared to take that step but I was becoming tired and making plans.....With GOD by your side, he will not let you fail...He will be there...Either he will bring your hubby back to you or help you make a decision to move on.....I used to pray about marriage and hope things would get better and then asked GOD to give me the answers. At the point when I got tired, my hubby knew I was about to leave him and he realized he was replaceable......ONLY YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE TIRED.....DO NOT BE AFRAID TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE....You also have to think about your kids and what affects that will have on your kids...My kids are small....they are almost three and four....You need to sit down with your kids and discuss this matter...Yourself and your kids are most important as you don't need a man in your life to substantiate you...YOU CAN DO IT BY YOURSELF......

Answer 2

I know how u feel!! MY ex use to put friends, sports, work, & clubs first. I sat down with him & told him to pick!! He picked his sports so I told him to move out I lived with my parents at the time!!
What I suggust is with ur kids see if u can go to visit a family member for a little while or if u have the money go on a small vacation with out his knowledge! Leave when u know he won't b home & leave a note where u know he will find it & tell him u need time to ur self for a little while!! tell him u will get in touch with him!! After a few days call him & see how he feels with out u in his life!! If he misses u then tell him there will be grown rules & that U will Leave him for good if he messes up. If if doesn't miss u then leave him!! If u go back to him & he messes up them leave him for a week or so then if u want go back!! If he messes up a third time leave for good no matter what he says!! Tell him that he had 3 chances & he blew it so u take the kids & leave! See if the kids will talk to him sometimes that helps!
This helped my sister & brother in law ( my brother in law used to work 80+ hours a week w/ a 8 yr old & 2 yr old. My sister cam here & now they are back together again!! They've been married for 8 yrs now!! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 3

if you're asking the question - then you comprehend the answer. even as a pair is in a severe courting (and that i'd say "quickly to be husband" will be seen severe) then the different human being might want to continually come first. in the adventure that they don't.. then are not you truly in an off-the-cuff courting that would want to (or would no longer be) monogomous? I guess he says that his acquaintances are his "buds" and they have been and continually will be there for him. And thats large!!! everyone must have a chain of acquaintances like that. yet... if he's not keen to placed you first... then you are of direction no longer "the affection of his life" and by no ability the large style a million human being in his life. So... you want to pick if you're keen to be huge style 2 (or 3 after acquaintances and interest) or 3 (acquaintances, interest, mistress). yet i'd imagine that that's purely the "tip" of the iceberg of the topics between you 2 and previously you assert "I do" you ought to have a lengthy communicate mutually and fairly probable with a pre-marriage councelor to make sure in case you ought to really stay mutually. Or.. you would possibly want to easily take the fast course and bypass such as your gut and get out now. yet.. in case you do not do something you'll both be depressing, develop right into a nag, or be divorced interior 5 years.... so please.. do something!!!!

Answer 4

I know what you think you should do, leave right? Maybe you should talk again and tell him what the children are saying about your relationship. If this doesn't work stay with a friend or a family member for a while. He might get the hint that you mean business. I am sure he thinks marriage counseling is out of the question and things can be solve on their own. You can also tell him you will get a sitter and join him. It might scare him and keep him home with you and the family! He will soon grow out of this young again feeling.

Answer 5

well since your husband put your family in 2 place and his friend in first place and doesn't came home in til 4;00 am in the morning i would leave him and file for divorce and slap him with child support this well be a wake up call for him and a slap of reality.but make sure you have a safe place to go and some money or cc.and a plan but you really need to leave.and remember to contact a attorney before you do this because was he find out you are gone he is going to do what every it take to find you and your kids and he may even call the police and file a missing person report on you and the kids so plan a head and make sure you do every thing legal.good luck

Answer 6

Well for the sake of you love him (if you still do), then give him that ONE LAST ultimatum.......it's either the family...or the friends...or a serious compromise...like family all week and daddy time on saturday n sunday or whatever day available. Otherwise if he can't be a father, then he doesn't need to be one....and you can kick his behind to the curb. A MAN...or a father, doesn't hang out with his buddies 24/7 cause he needs to rekindle his youth or some crap like that... a family is a responsibility, he ain't got time for friends? TOO damn bad, you get what you paid for, you can't throw families away like old nintendo games you got tired of playing. They are there for LIFE. It's either he deals with it and find some compromise, or he doesn't have it at all.

Answer 7

I was in that situation a few years ago. He had 2 little boys and they were the only reason I stayed as long as I did. Other than me and my daughter, they had no stability, no TRUE LOVE. I stayed for 3 1/2 years and had to give up, because his drinking was only getting worse, and he stayed out with his drinking buddies till LATE at night, 7 days a week.

Answer 8

if this has been a recent development, i would say that this is just some kind of midlife crisis and he'll get over it. but if you say it's been going on for 2 years, then something isn't right. he's not being the real man for you and your kids that he needs to be; he's not supporting his family the way he should. and i think that if this destructive behavior isn't stopped, he could potentially ruin his own life.

i think he needs a wake up call. i think you should move out for a little while, tell him you'll be back when he can prove to you he's cleaned up his act. that's what i would do at least.

Answer 9

It's easy for me to give my advice because I am not in your situation. So I am sorry that you are going through this. For me, what I would do is leave. If I tried everything I could to make things work and they weren't working I would take the kids and leave. You have to put yourself and your children first. I couldn't handle the being out all night and the drinking. I wish you luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 10

I was going through the same thing just 3 months ago. I thought by moving things would get better, but it got worse. So what i decided to do was behind his back i went and got a divorce lawyer and he got served with the papers at his job.. he was shocked and couldnt believe that i would do that.. I stood my ground and told him i was tired of the drinking, late nights and if he wanted to live the single life he could, but was going to loose me. We are noe happily married and just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Good Luck