I think that I am pushing my husband away. I nag him about his video games. Help!?

Question

I have been married almost two years, we have one child. Over the last year my husband has stopped laying with me in bed and has begun to play X-box live until all hours of the night. I feel that I am being neglected he says that I am not. He says that I need more friends. I am not sure what to do. I love him very much but I do not want to come second in his life after his video games and right now that is how I feel. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Quit nagging and file for divorce. He obviously cares more about the games than he does about you.

Answer 2

Haha .. I feel like I am reading something that I would have written a couple of years ago. My husband was the EXACT same way. He never came to bed. We had also had a child .. I am not sure how old your husband is but sometimes a child can bring more stress than they know how to handle .. or want to handle .. esp if he is young. We fought and fought about it so much that it actually led to a seperation for awhile (not just the XBOX but feeling neglected) now 2 years and another baby later... I don't know. I think we have finally gotten the hang of it. We went to a marriage counsler who suggested that we talk to each other for 15 minutes every night. Only 15 minutes but no tv or anything on. It really worked for us... the 15 minutes turned to 30 or 40 or led to "other things" Sometimes we get so caught up in life I think we forget how much we had loved each other. And all we needed to do was take a little time out. Don't get me wrong he still LOVES his XBOX and is dying for a 360 (which will be awhile because we have the boys presents to buy first haha) But I am more okay with it. My friends husbands go out to bars and clubs to relieve stress. My babe is always right here. Actually we also moved the computer right beside a tv with his XBOX so he plays and I surf. Even though I am really not interested I will help him name is players or whatever and he looks at stuff on here. I KNOW that I will have my time later. Wow .. I wrote way more than I meant to .. I guess because I have been in the same situation. Seriously though ask him for 15 minutes! If you ever want a faceless person to complain to it about .. shoot me an email! HANG IN THERE!! It gets better!

Answer 3

In my experience with my own husband the more you nag, the more he'll do what he wants to do either because he really wants to do it or out of spite. Whatever the case may be. Perhaps you can take his advice and get a hobby. Since he plays til all hours of the night how about you get a good book to read before bed? Perhaps you could play a game or two with him before you go to bed so you feel your getting your time with him and hes getting his relax time too. Run that by your husband and then go to the store to find a game you can play together!

Answer 4

If it wasn't xbox it would be football or basketball or fishing or bowling or something. I think it is a man thing but in one thing he is right. You need to go and find some fun with your own friends so you will not feel so lonely when he is playing his games. You could learn to play and then play with him if you want the togetherness, but you cannot expect him to just stop to sit with you. If you were doing something that you enjoyed instead of naging him he might get a chance to miss you. with you hanging on his heels he has no real need to pay you any attention you are always around. If you had an interest that absorbed you like the games absorb him it will not be long before he looks up to see why you are not hanging on his heels anymore and he might come around to see what you are doing that is taking your attention away from him

Be happy he is home with the games. He could be out there gambling up the money or cheating with other women or a million other things a whole lot worse than spending a few hours playing video games.

Next time he is in one of those lengthy sessions, you go get dolled up and put on something sexy and skimpy then get a book and go read it, RIGHT WHERE HE CAN SEE YOU. sit in his line of vision to the game if possibel and ignore him and read your book. I get he comes over sooner than you thought

Answer 5

Many of our husbands have developed interests that don't always include us, be it sports, video games, or just TV. I would not attack his interest in Xbox. I would rec commend that you tell him that you understand his interests are different from yours, but that if he would commit to some time with you, you would make it worth his while. Just do not nag. Some men need something to capture their interest to help them unwind after work. Something they can submerge their attention into that will alleviate the pain or anxiety of the day. This is probably where these addictive hobbies come from. I use this time away from my husband to do my nails, hair, exercise, or develop my own interests. A wife can often become a source of demands if she does not temper this with understanding. Just be calm and loving and don't play the guilt game with him. Join a gym. This will get his attention and he will be proud that you are a busy girl with or without him. That will lessen the pressure off of him in a very positive way. Good Luck!

Answer 6

hey i feel exactly the same way with my husband. The only way to get through to your husband is to sit him down and tell him that you want a date night one night a week that you two can go out and be alone. Because you feel like he doesn't want to spend time with you and its really upsetting. I think we could all use more friends but you need the company of your husband. You want to feel loved and supported and when he plays video games all the time and doesn't take the time to talk to you or just cuddle then you feel neglected and any woman inculding me would feel the same way. Ask him if he would be willing to cut down on the video games to spend time with you. I'll tell you this much my aunt has been married for twenty something years and her husband completely ignores her all together and has been doing it for years. Be serious with him dont back down let him know its making you feel bad. With men sometimes you have to tell them something a thousand times before they listen good luck

Answer 7

Girlfriend, I had a boyfriend like that before where he played video games all day....I started learning how to play and join in with him and his friends and everything is fine...Men are still boys.....you have to try some of the things they like or find some friends or do things for yourself by your self and with him to stop nagging him.....Nagging does not do anything to men but push them away from you...I learned the hard way and he stopped being home and started being out in the streets because he just wanted to get away from hearing my nagging.......

Answer 8

Stop nagging him. Look at it this way... would you rather him on the video games or out in bars not at home with some woman? You have to pick your battles. U two need to go out have a great evening and address your concerns in a serious way over dinner. But remember, NO NAGGING, just talk it out and try to get to the beginning of some kind of compromise. God Bless.

Answer 9

What is it with men and their video games? Perhaps you should talk with him about limiting his play to only certain nights of the week and limited number of hours because you would like to spend time with him? That should work, but I warn you he may get angry ;) when you take away the games.

Answer 10

I absolutely loathed my brother playing video games,,I hated the time wasted on them & I hated the noise,,until he hooked up a second computer,,now I play all the time when chores are done,,almost every night during the week.Its a blast.Try it sometime & we are both in our 40's!! lol

Answer 11

Just stop.i play video games too.No matter how tired i am i have to play for an hour or so.It brings comfort to me and it relaxes me.It takes my stress out of me and helps me to fall a sleep.On the other hand my husband is surprised at me,knowing how tired i am and insted of sleeping,i play.Be thankfull,that he doesn't look for his comfort in else where.Meaning drugs,alcohole,porn and stuff like that.