im sorry, but i cant help but love someone. im 15 and i KNOW i shouldnt be with a guy, but i seriously cant help myself. It's life and i can't control life. i can control what i do in life which im doing, but i cant control loving someone so much. my parents will NEVER allow me to be with a guy until im like in college. NO questions asked. but i cant help love. i really wish i never fell in love cuz i dont wanna feel dis way. i already promised that i wont have sex until marriage and so far my promise is still unbroken. but i feel horrible that im breaking my parent's trust. they dont know and i feel like i shouldnt be doing this behind their back.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!!
2006-12-01 17:43:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Honestly eveyone will say that 15 is too young to love. In fact I will say the same thing to my son when he is older. Truth is though, I met my boyfriend freshman year in highschool, and I was 15. I am now almost 21, married to my highschool sweetheart, and we have a little baby now.
If you really feel connected to this boy, don' rush into anything. I know you promised not to have sex, which is great, and I am proud you are sticking to it. But don't ever feel pressured to at your age. Sex can wait. But I am not going to lecture you on that.
I also don't know if you are allowed to date, but maybe you could slightly bring the idea up to your parents about going to the mall, or maybe a movie with a large group of friends, meaning boys & girls. Then they can see that you won't break their trust with anything stupid.
Just remember that you are still young, don't get too worried just yet about dating and Love. If it is really truly meant to be, things will work out.
2006-12-01 18:15:06 · answer #1 · answered by mke 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, noone can decide when is the right time for someone other than themselves, to fall in love.As for breaking your parents trust, well, that is another story entirely. First of all , have you talked to your guy? Does he feel the same as you? I think it is ok to have a boyfriend at your age..but I am not your parents. I do , however , believe in chastity.You should be married before sex and if your guy loves you, he will understand and wait. Not to dampen your hopes but, rarely do young loves last when there is stipulation.. or should I say , rules.You do know, or you should know that a guy will say anything to get what he wants? Even go as far as to say he loves you..and YES!! so do girls..so let's not put this all on the fault of the guy..but if you love this guy, talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. You may or may not want to tell them the part about being in love right off the bat but, you should expess the fact that you are really into this dude and tell them how you are being responsible and not having sex and how you feel about the sex before marriage thing.You won't break your promise on that but , insist that it is an innocent highschool..middleschool.. whatever you are in , relationship.
I know your parent are only thinking about you and have your best interests at heart.I would try talking to them before you have a nervous breakdown.
Nothing is worth lying about and losing the faith your parents have in you.But seriously, a boyfriend at 15 is normal..
Maybe your parents won't let you go out alone with him but , maybe you can invite him for family outtings , like maybe pizza or a trip to the mall ..or something..but with your parents as chaperones.And then again, maybe your parents will be really angry.Just try talking to them..hint like " Mother, why can't I have a boyfriend?" Or " Why are you so set against me having a boyfriend until college?" SOmething to that affect if you don't want to come right out and say " Hey . mum!" I have a boyfriend!"
Ya know..yeah, I confused myself too.
2006-12-01 18:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love isnt something you plan. No matter how much your parents dont want you to, it cant stop you. Its not like you went aganist them on purpose. Its just a feeling you cant help. I know exactly how you feel. I'm fifteen and going through the exact same situation. My parents are pretty strict with things like that. The want me to finish school before i start thinking about guys which for me is impossible. You dont have to stop loving this guy or feel guilty. But just remember be careful. Lying to your parents also makes them not trust you and that could make your life so much harder. Also you still are only 15, i know you love him but try not to get so attached. You have so many more years of your life to go and things might change. Feelings change all the time. You dont want to get hurt. I've gotten hurt a couple of times and it lowers my esteem. It makes me afraid of falling in love again. But I hope I helped. If you need me my e-mail is illist_mamiix3@yahoo.com =)
2006-12-02 03:13:32 · answer #3 · answered by SAMANTHA B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Cindy lu. What you are feeling is not love but sexual attraction. You can't control who you are sexually attracted to but you can control what you do.
I don't think that you are breaking your parent's trust by feeling attracted to someone. You would only do that if you "did" something behind your parent's back.
As a teenager you are feeling some strong emotions that you didn't feel before you started puberty so that they are new to you. If it's any help, I'm 63 y/o, divorced, and also have very strong feelings of attraction to women that I can't act on because because they are married.
That is just a part of life. After you get married, even if you love your husband very much, you will feel attractions to other men, that's just human. It's good for you to learn that it's not good to let your emotions rule your life and that you don't have to.Sometimes it's helpful to me to silently remind myself of that when I'm feeling the emotions.
Best wishes in your future life and God bless you. You sound like a wonderful young woman and a real credit to your parents. It is an honor to try to answer your question.
2006-12-01 18:20:17 · answer #4 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
IT IS OK to love someone. There should be no shame nor regret in loving a person as being in love is a positive thing.
I met my fiance and we started dating when we were 12. We broke up but remained best friends up until graduation. We both went into military and lost track of eachother. Got with him a year and half ago. Feelings never changed, they grew stronger. I knew I loved him from when I was 12 and he says the exact same. Pre teen and teens CAN love. Just the actions are the thing to be more concerned about. Him and I are 21 and still love eachother very much. I have been in a few relationships where I thought I loved them, but in reality, I didn't. So, it is true to have that love feeling to be disquised as lust.
it is when you bring actions to the table is when it can become a negative effect.
I can not judge your parents, but I do believe the whole "can't date a guy til you are....____ of age" is unrealistic. As a teen, part of growing up is experiementing with the dating scene. However, that is the way your parents want to parent and in a sense, should always be respected. Then again, you will rebell and this is the first stage of rebellion, to which can cause problems down the road. I would recommend being very careful of what limits you try to cross.
As for as sex. This is the way I think and to which, you should have your own opinion too. Not just make a promise just because someone else wants you to. This has to be YOUR decision on what YOU WANT. Not what someone else you to want in your life that will effect you. Therefore, wait for sex for marriage because you want to and have reasons to. Not just because someone else wants you to. That is my opinion.
When sex issue comes up, you will be tempted and you will be faced with hard decisions to which you have control over. Just your "love" feeling can cloud your mind on decision making. Remember, always be true to yourself and think in future, not the present. Ex: what if I get pregnant? What if he has std and lies to me saying he doesn't? What if I am not on the pill and he on condom? Will I regret, feel shame or feel this will go against my personal or religious belief that I will feel shame over?
Then make your decision based on the answers you feel best suites you.
If you feel bad about doing this behind their back and feel it is wrong, then you can do a few things: 1) Discuss this with parents to show them you wish to have a bf, but rather not do it behind their backs, shows maturity in my book 2) Break up with him 3) Go behind their backs (which..I don't recommend).
2006-12-01 20:25:58 · answer #5 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey well i've got answers for you! DO NOT IGNORE LOVE! love doesn't care how old you are, only how big your heart is. my sister was 15 when she met the love of her life at school. She is now 32, married to the same guy for 12 years with 2 beautiful children. she has never once been with another guy and they are more in love every single day. another sister was not quite 16 when she met her bf. she's now 19 and again more in love than ever b4 with the same guy! as for your parents...don't make my mistake of letting them live life for you. do what you really want to do and in the end they will have to love you for who you are and not who they want you to be. the generations are changing and we are now faced with more and more temptations that deviate from the old school no sex b4 marriage values. my mum is very anti-sex b4 marriage but i lost my virginity at 16 because I wanted to. she still has no idea and what she doesn't know won't hurt her. please just follow your heart. if ur worried about breaking trust and abiding by ur parents ungiving guidelines..you will end up regretting life and feeling unfulfilled. life is a gift and we have to use it anyway we can to get the most out of it for us...not our parents. go to ur boy..tell him you love him and then follow the yellow brick road! xoxox good luck
2006-12-01 18:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by ***Miracles Happen*** 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Most people say that teens can't fall in love but they can. Sure they'll have a very bumpy road but if you and this guy both love each other then tell your parents. Also if you guys really love each other you'll be able to wait till college maybe even till marrige.
2006-12-02 08:35:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was about of your age when I entered into a relationship despite of my parents advices not to have a serious one until i finish my college degree. I was disgusted the same, feeling that i broke my loving parents' trust on me.
Telling your parents the truth will help you resolve your guilty feelings. Parents though how strict and proctective they may be to their offspring can still be very friendly and supportive i tell you.
2006-12-02 00:23:07 · answer #8 · answered by Faye 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i think that anyone can love and i dont think that there is a certain age of when it should be ok to love someone. just at your younge age i would say that you need to be careful! guys are not as mature as girls. so they may act like an idiot. i would say that you should talk to your parents about having a boyfriend. just as long as you know that you dont want to have sex before marrage and you let them know that you dont want to. then they should have no problem with you haveing a boyfriend as long as your careful.
2006-12-02 09:31:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is painful but at ur age u must think ... u should leave him before u screw up ur life and as well as his . many kids your age fall in love but that not love only Hormons and sweet talk that guy do be smart leave him befor u get in any trouble. im sur thire is a reason why ur parent don't allow it. since they love u and do 't want u to get hurt. if they didn't love u they would let u do anything u want
2006-12-01 18:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by answer man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋