Well I think my husband has officially topped all the stories he cheated on me while I was pregnant with his daughter, then cheated again after she was born...i found out about it all about 6-8 after the fact but never the less the same reaction like it was happening at the moment...i was upset, hurt and mad but decided to work things out for the sake of our marriage and two children...after about two months there were no changes in his attitude or helping me out with the kids and our marriage began to go down hill..I finally told him that I think we need to end it...a week later i found out he was already sleeping with someone and took this women to the same restaurant he took me for our wedding anniversary which is a pretty expensive one by the water...a month after this incident I figured out from looking in his wallet that the lady he was sleeping with was one of the moms on my sons flag football team...Its been a week now and I have moved out but why do I even still care about him
2006-12-01 16:46:48 · 26 answers · asked by Micah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
good for you. all the power to you. you don't put up with that crap. let him be the sleaze he is and you take care of those baby's then you slug him for child support and everything he's got. but try to ignore him. he might catch something one of these days. karma will catch up to him :)
2006-12-01 16:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is raise your self esteeem. If your spouse who you once lived, laughed, cried together, shared intimate moments together, shared secrets, spent precious time and created children together does not recognize your marriage as a sacred matrimony, then maybe his marriage to you was never a holy matrimony. It sounds as though he has lost interest in you, the marriage and unfortunately the children. But, it's your duty to not feel you did anything wrong. Now you have to pick yourself up, dust him off, do a complete makeover on yourself if you have to, and live for your children and yourself. Put him away from your mind because he will only make you feel depressed and unworthy of being loved. He will mentally drain all that you have left. Your children needs a vibrant, strong, motivated mother now since their dad does not leave much to be desired. The kids will feel a negative energy from you and they don't need that. As his wife, you married him for the right reasons and that is why you still care, and because your feelings to him were sincere, it will take time to get him out of your mind and heart for good. Keep yourself busy, find a new hobby, go on trips with the kids, take care of yourself and learn to smile and laugh again. He will respect you for how you are handling the whole situation and may even find your more interesting. Since he cannot respect himself, he will learn to respect you when he sees the change in you. You can do it!!
2006-12-02 01:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to still have feelings for someone even if you have been hurt by that person. Especially as you have probably been with him a long time and you have two beautiful children together. Although having said that l feel you made the right choice ( however hard ) to leave him as l believe he has had more than his fair share of chances. He just continually proves that he cannot be trusted or faithful. I honestly hope you can get over this hurdle and make a wonderful life for yourself and your children. Do not allow him back in your life. You deserve much more than he is prepared to give. Move forward, don't look back and above all BE HAPPY !!!! Good luck
2006-12-02 01:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any time you go through something like marriage with someone, even if it ends like this, there's always gonna be a little something there that you can't fully get over.
When you have children with that person, even more so, because you're bound by those children.
But your husband obviously doesn't care how much this hurts you. If he had the slightest idea, he wouldn't have done it in the first place.
It's been a week. No wound like the one he's inflicted upon you will heal that quickly. Give yourself time to care for yourself, because what you need right now he sure as hell isn't capable of providing for you.
Keep your chin up, and for God's sake, don't blame yourself for this and don't let him make you think this is your fault.
No worries.
2006-12-02 00:59:38 · answer #4 · answered by randomthoughtpatterns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you loved him and the feeling does not just go away completely in no time. You also miss what you thought you had, the life you thought you would share with him, but that is over now. You are better off and soon you will get over these feelings. Go on and build a new life for you and your kids. Do not let a trip down memory lane lead you down the garden path. Stick to your guns and hold your head up This too shall pass and you will have a better life than you would have with this habitual cheater. good luck
2006-12-02 01:11:23 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you still care because you have children and a history. you will get over it. when ever you start missing him, think about all the dirty things he's done to you. not only did he brake your heart but he destroyed everything you had together, not you. think about your children. you did the right thing ending it and it's ok. trust me you are not the first nor will you be the last to go through something like this. and even though it will be hard, and it hurts but it will get easier and better. you just need time to heal. you did a very brave thing. be proud of yourself that you ended it when you did. some women actually turn a blind eye to that. but not you. go on girl. i'm saying a praye rfor you and the children and i wish you all the luck in the world. take care of you and yours.
2006-12-02 01:02:14 · answer #6 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is a perfect match to mine. I am ahead though, I have the divorce & an EX-husband who is a big jerk.
My advice: your young, take some time to be sad, not too much then move on. Be selfish, pamper yourself, spend time with friends who are supportive and fun. Ask them to include some new friends. Its will help rebuild your self-esteem when the new friends want to be around you because you ARE a wonderful person. You realize the reasons your jerk did what he did is not because of you, its because he really is a jerk. Its hard to just let go of someone especially when you have kids. It reminds me of a line from a song "love hurts when only ones in love..".
Hang in there, stay positive for your kids, your not alone... I feel sorry for both of us.
2006-12-02 04:56:53 · answer #7 · answered by Micha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you expect. It has been a week. Also you sort of feel rejected so you can redeem yourself by getting his attention again. These things take time. Also why did you marry this guy? You are going to date guys who cheat on you. Maybe you like those sort of guys. Or the challenge and the competition makes you get more emotional and thus builds stronger ties.
He cheated on you it hurt then he said he loves you and sleeps with you and you feel redeemed and your heart has been pulled in so many directions and so it goes......
If you want to piss him off start dating it won't help anything but it will be fun and he will apologize and swear he will never do it again and will get so interested in you. and then eventually.......
2006-12-02 00:54:47 · answer #8 · answered by uncle frosty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Our marriage began to go downhill"?????? Dear, your marriage was already so far downhill that a plow could not dig it up. This guy is a complete asshole. You do not still care about him.....you care for the "idea" and the dream of him and what you thought you could have. This will replace itself with anger someday....trust me. Then you will meet an awesome guy and the comparison will make you thankful you had the courage to leave. Good luck! I wish you the very best. I have been through it and thankfully my life turned around. I just wish I had your kind of courage to do it earlier!
2006-12-02 00:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you have mixed feelings.You still care about him because you remember the good times that you had together. But it's over and he does not seem to have an interest in changing for you and you shouldn't take it. You should do what is best for you and your kids. Plus the love will go away, because it is not real, they are just leftover emotions that you have from the marriage.
2006-12-02 00:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by c3r3c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only two possibilities i see. One is , above all still you are seeing something attractive in him which makes you difficult to hate.. Second :you think it is difficult to you to think of living alone or it may affect you kids future.. If the first one is the issue, then identify what it is, and analyse it in micro level which will make you understand it is not as great as you have considered. Also you can see many people with same quality with higher level..That should help you to over come the situation. If second one is the case.. dont be afraid.. there good people and good elements in world to support you.. go forward bravely.. get rid of him and face world along with your kids..
2006-12-02 01:03:54 · answer #11 · answered by Chungath 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋