hey, my boyfriend and i have been going out for 8 months and its been a roller coaster ride because of our perpetual negativity.I know there are the things that are really bothering him in his personal life. he hasnt opened up much yet about things but im not going to force it out of him . im still waiting for him to do that on his own. but now it's getting to the point that he's constantly ridiculing, sarcastic, harsh and mean towards me and now i see my self-esteem decreasing more than ever before.God knows i dont have the best self esteem in the world right now , so i really dont trust my own advise for our situation. please dont suggest that we break up. i dont want to leave him, i've tried many times but it only made us feel worst when we got back together. how can we be postive and still be together?
2006-12-01 16:27:30 · 5 answers · asked by Wild Rose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Girl, are we dating the same person??? LOL!! I'm in a very simular situation. I've been "dating" my friend on and off for a year now. I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster ride too.
My advice is to back off meaning - let him come to you. Dont initiate phone calls, etc. Show him that you're life is complete without him in it and it should anyway. Also, he knows that you have low self-esteem so he's going to play on that to make himself feel good. In my situation - when my friend start saying negative things to me - I flip it on him - I ask him if you feel like that about me then why are you with me? The expression on his face is priceless.
Now you're going to get some flack from people especially on this board but this is your life and if you are happy with him then thats on you.
On the flipside don;t sacrafice your happiness to be with someone. Love yourself more than you love your guyfriend.
Everybody had problems and issues. Believe me, there's people in far more worse situations then this and a lot of time those are the people that are criticizing you.
2006-12-01 16:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by gloried 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, so the question is how long you put up with it before he drags you down.
I have a problem with a guy that supposedly loves his girlfriend and treats her harsh and mean. That is not someone who I would want to spend my life with let alone much time at all.
I would suggest meeting with a pastor or a clergyman to try and work on solutions but this guy does not sound like the counseling kind. Sometimes a distant third party can see through the problems and offer a way to see things differently. Try not to let this guy take you with him down the negative road. The old saying goes that in order to love someone else you have to love yourself first, and I don't think he is there yet.
2006-12-02 00:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by John E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important that you respect eachother. He must be going through some depression that can happen when he is not feeling like a man. You want to understand the inner lives of men there is a book you should read its call for women only. Its all about men and self esteem and their ego. It tells you what you want to know about how men think and things that men dont know how to tell us. The author is shaunti feldhahn.
2006-12-02 00:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe you should worry more about your self esteem right now. If your are strong and sure of who you are, then you will be able to help him better. AND, you really should talk to him more. Communication is the key to a good relationship. Ask him ?'s but don't pry for the answers
2006-12-02 00:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by elloel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either ignore him and what he says about you and move on,or you have no choice but to leave him.And work to control your negative feelings.
2006-12-02 00:32:05 · answer #5 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋