From the far east, he came
In clothes torn and worn
Hand hurt, back bent and leg lame
No valuables, did he adorn
A thin old man, he was
Hair uncut and beard unshaved
For as many years as he was
No essence of youth, he saved
A familiar face, he possessed
Of virtue, wit and wisdom within
Jeers followed him, then jests
Being mocked, he did not grin
Held his head high, he did
Though men laughed and leered
Any shame he had, he got rid
To where I was, he neared
To each other, we faced
Ruined and wrinkled face of his
Against mine, we embraced
Couldn't as my reflection, he is
2006-12-01 16:10:23 · 16 answers · asked by Rick S 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! Did you write it? It is very encouraging and has a good beat. It also has a great message.
2006-12-01 16:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by yomonkeysdaddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very good and I believe the speaker is talking of himself as he looks in a mirror...
2006-12-02 00:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok...sounds like an outcast, coming to accept himself
2006-12-02 00:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by Nuttie Nettie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked everything with the exception of this one line at the end of the first stanza...
"did he adorn."
It sounds forced... I hate that!
2006-12-02 03:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
IT'S REALLY GOOD! I could have never written something like that! I'm not trying to sound really cheesy but it was really good!
2006-12-02 00:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by Katie P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep working on it. You might make it into something with a few more revisions.
2006-12-02 00:18:21 · answer #6 · answered by eagleperch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love that!!! It was great. Did you write it? If you did, that was really, really good.
2006-12-02 14:07:24 · answer #7 · answered by kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, honestly, your tempo is off. That is very distracting.
2006-12-02 00:13:23 · answer #8 · answered by littlechrismary 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cool sounds great
2006-12-02 00:19:02 · answer #9 · answered by valeri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was incredible. i really like it alot! and i am a tough critic who wrote it?
2006-12-02 00:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋