my ex-boyfriend keeps calling me everynight. and although ive made it clear to him i dont want anything serious with him anymore he said he'd try anyway.. eventhough i told him to stop calling me.. he still calls.. whenever he calls me he opens up topics about the future where I plan to work, my plans after graduation, etc.. and then he popped up a proposal if we could get married right after my graduation.. so i told him we're not even back to girlfriend-boyfriend mode.. and im not sure if i still want "us".. i told him not to wait.. and to plan a future without me.. but it's not working.. lately he signed a contract in an immigration agency for the US.. he just have to take some examinations and within one and a half year he could migrate to the US.. and he is still telling me.. he wants me to go with him.. i asked him, "why would i go with you?".. he answered me "fiances can be considered an immediate family member and can be included in his migration"...
2006-12-01 15:42:03 · 13 answers · asked by evismea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so i told him "im not your fiance not even your girlfriend, we're just friends".. so i told him again "what if i won't agree to your plans?" then he asked "why not?" i told him "because im not ready and i think we still have a lot to learn, because we're very young". then he said that if im not ready he'll wait. so i told him, just go abroad when your time to go comes and ill just be here but im just not ready to go with you.. and he said.. "im not going without you".. then i told him he cannot put his life on hold. i told him he has to take the risk and go and if God wills it, we'll be back together someday. but do you know what his response was? he said, "ok what is the main reason that you can't be my fiance, marry me, and go with me?" when all along i have already told him right?!!!!!!!!! so i decided to paraphrase my reason and told him, "because i am not ready personally to get into marriage and i think you should see a whole lot about the world and other women first"..
2006-12-01 15:42:34 · update #1
well he said if my reason is im not ready personally he'll wait for me.. but the problem sam is.. he won't go abroad without me!!!!!!! he'll just wait for me.... he'll really wait!!!!!! he even got mad when i said about "other women" because he said im doubting him! i dont know what to do with this guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-01 15:42:59 · update #2
I think this would be classed as some form of stalking !! Be very careful with this guy, you don't know what he will do when he finally gets the message that you do not want to be with him. If l was you l would seek some form of legal advice. You need help quickly, you could be in real danger !!
2006-12-01 15:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm, this guy is alittle obsessed, no? I'm not sure if you've made it perfectly clear that you don't want a relationship. The reason why I say that is, you still talk to him on the phone. Instead of being like "we're not back to boy/girlfriend and you re not sure if you still want this", you need to be way more clear. Tell him you have no interest in a relationship with him, now or in the future. It'll be hard, but you're going to have to be blunt with him, or this will go on forever. Good luck!!
2006-12-01 15:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by jessicalynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don’t know what country you’re in,, but look into any harassment laws that may be available to protect you. This guy is Whacko nonetheless so, don’t be wishy-washy in your response. “No I am not interested in you-any time-any where-any circumstances-“we” are NOT FRIENDS, LEAVE ME ALONE!” Provided you have face to face contact. Rule #1 do NOT answer the phone! Change your phone number if you have to!!
ANYTHING less he’ll see as,,, “I’ve still got a chance with her”
2006-12-01 16:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by logicalanswer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not be vague! Tell him that you do not and never will have those kinds of feelings for him again and it is time he realizes that as hard as it may be. Then stop getting into these long conversations with him. Don't answer the phone. Let him have the chance to forget you.
2006-12-01 15:46:39 · answer #4 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you area very wise lady, ou have said all that a sober person would have said, and you have displayed a lot of maturity in the way you have handled this.
What is important is you, what you feel not what he wants or how he feels, he will take care of that, it's everything about you. And you have done a good job, let him move on with lie as you consider yourself and your wants!
Proud of you girl!
2006-12-01 15:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by Trinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you answering the phone? If you can ID the caller, just let it ring. Some phone services allow you to block calls from specific callers.
Good grief, girl, you sound smarter than your explanation of the problem. You have no commitment to him, nor him to you. You owe him nothing.
It's over. Stop taking his calls and/or seeing him.
2006-12-01 16:16:07 · answer #6 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need to b careful! Looks like the beginning of a scary situation! Run as fast as you can to your local law enforcement officials!
2006-12-01 18:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by Dre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the Police inless deep down inside you really enjoy the attention!!
2006-12-01 15:47:16 · answer #8 · answered by chase 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get an unlisted phone number, and have the police talk to him and tell him if he don't leave you alone he will be arrested for harassment.
2006-12-01 15:48:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him straight out that you don't love him . but you like him as a person but for a friend not a boyfriend.
2006-12-01 15:47:44 · answer #10 · answered by mourningdove73 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋