MIL still not buttin out...?

Question

I was feeding my 10 mo old his peas and then I gave him some pasta that he was using his fingers to eat and my MIL started in on me that he needs a bowl. Why dosent he have a bowl and I said because he just drops it all out on the floor.Then she goes thats because you dont teach him and shes shakin her head. Please tell me I am not the only one who lets their 10 month old finger feed straight off the high chair tray? If I am not here in the next few days its because I am in jail for murder.

Answer 1

OMGoodness lol that is too funny I know exactly what you are going through only it is not my MIL it was my grandmother in law ugh and she would come over and tell me what to do all the time, such as you arent putting him to sleep right and you arent feeding him enough blah blah blah my best advice to you is to politely tell her to keep your opinions to herself things arent the same as they were when they were parents of young kids. I let my son eat right off of his high chair tray all the time there is no harm in that, if i do that then he actually eats the food as opposed to me putting it on a plate or a bowl then he just throws the plate or bowl, best of luck to you and if you need someone to bail you out I got your back lol hehehe BEST OF LUCK HUN!!!! :)

Answer 2

You're far from the only one. Every baby I know eats straight off the tray. My neice even eats off the toy bar on her walker. Well, not anymore, she can walk on her own now and doesn't use the walker, but she used to!

I spill out some cheerios or raisins or a few green beans right on the high chair tray and my son feeds himself. He will be 10 months next week. I know if I gave the the whole bowl, he's either dump it over his head or put so much in his mouth at once that he choked.

When your MIL makes these ridiculous suggestions, just look at her blankly and then go right back to what you were doing. If is your baby, not hers. If she wants to bring another one up, she can adopt one. There are plenty of babies that need good homes.

Answer 3

When my sister-in-law left my nephew with me instead of his grandmother, she hovered all day and said hurtful things like that. She chewed me out for putting his diaper on backwards. It wasn't. Other things that weren't her business.

Mothers-in-law were made to intrude, but they really mean well. She's just concerned about her grandson, but that doesn't excuse her rudeness. It's fine to let him eat off the tray. If you wash it often, it's just as clean as a plate.

I've thought of violence sometimes, too, so you're definitely not alone in that!

But, remember ... when she was raising kids they thought you had to teach them proper manners from day one. She would have forced your husband to leave his bowl on the tray by manually keeping it there and made him use the spoon correctly. Or else she would have fed him herself.

So take a deep breath and then tell her that her rudeness hurt your feelings. You'll feed your son however you feel is proper, and it's not really her business unless she's the one feeding him at the moment. And that you know she means well. Mention that if she agrees to be nice, you will, too. Since I've been nice to my MIL she's been a LOT more polite to me ... and vice versa. If she won't agree to disagree, your husband will have to back you up and not allow the rudeness. He should be protecting his wife if that ends up being the situation.

Good luck! And don't kill anybody ... then she'd harp on how that's not a good example!

Answer 4

My daughter is 17 months and some times she just eats off the removable dishwasher safe high chair cover thing. It's when I get fed up with her tossing the dishes off the tray after she's done and just don't have the energy that time to deal with cleaning mushed peas out of my carpet again in a rush so the cat can't get to them and then get sick. I don't think there's a problem with it at all. When he gets older though it's probably best to try to use dishes most of the time just so they start learning appropriate manners etc etc. Good luck with the fussbutt MIL!

Answer 5

lol oh the dear mother in laws...what in the world would we do without them?no you are not the only one.i find that it is less mess if you let them eat off the tray...if you put it in the bowl like you said they will throw it down send food flying and cause twice the clean up!!!let me tell you a story that i read in a parents mag about how different mothers are and all think their way is right....

this lady was eating lunch with a friend and they noticed a lady at the next table letting her child pick bread off the table and eat it...the lady starting talking about how gross that was and that the child could get sick from the germs...she was saying this as she bent down and picked up the binkie her baby had just dropped on the floor and stuck it right back in her mouth!!!!!
all moms think that their ways are right and dont take the time to look at what they are doing wrong or have done wrong!it is just that mother in laws are much worse at rubbing it into the faces of their daughter in laws!

Answer 6

Your husband needs to talk to his mother and tell her to butt out. HE should not let her get away with butting in on your parenting as long as it is not harmful to your son, then she has NO business telling you it is wrong. If she continues, he needs to tell her she is not welcome at your home until she can behave better. I think this is REALLY important because as your son gets older, he is going to understand what your MIL is doing/saying and it may affect your relationship with him. (BTW, I know because I have made it very clear to my husband when my MIL has been inappropriate - once or twice only - and had him talk to her immediately.)

Grandparents should enhance the relationship parents and children have by being a connection to the past and to family traditions. They can even spoil the kids a little if it is okay with parents, but parents should always always have the last word.

Oh yeah, my son is only 3 months, but I would have no problem feeding him off his high chair tray once he is able to eat!

Answer 7

In my opinion, i think a bowl would be a bad idea... but that is just me. You aren't trying to teach proper table etiquette... you are trying to teach a baby to eat. Next time tell her that your way is actually how Pediatricians recommend teaching children to eat... but that really doesn't matter because you know how to raise your child, and you have obviously gotten along fine for 10 months without input from the peanut gallery... I really am sorry you have to put up with that though. I sometimes think that MILs learn that behavior from THEIR MILs... so they think it is acceptable. Good Luck though... If you do decide to murder her burn the evidence... or claim temporary insanity (at least you won't be lying)

Answer 8

We should talk.My child is now 9 and MIL still has not butt out.You definately feed your child anyway you want. Your baby needs to be able feed himself and that's how they learn by texture and feel of things. My GOODNESS tell her to get a life. Proper etiquette isn't needed for a 10 month old eating in his high chair. Personal info my MIL caused my divorce she had a key and came into my home whenever she wanted and woke up my sleeping baby when she wanted. I told her how I felt about it and she stopped having anything to do with her grandchild for a long time.Always found a way to criticise all I did with him.Still does. My husband had something to do the divorce to he supported his Mom and not me.Good Luck

Answer 9

Thats the reason for the tray in my opinion.. kids need to learn how to eat first, before they can learn table manners. They are smart cookies, but there's only so much a little mind can do. I can't even count the # of pics I've seen of kids putting bowls of food over their heads...

So take a deep breathe and try and ignore her, I know it's hard. My MIL is always wondering when I'm going to wean my daughter who is still breastfeeding, and my mom is always asking me why don't I just give DD some water..lol.. thats what moms/MIL's do.. and one day we will do this to our kids..lol

Answer 10

MIL are hard creatures to deal with.
Good luck with this dear, I'm in much of the same boat. I just bite my tongue for my husbands sake. I know it means a lot to him that I don't slam his mother. He doesnt slam my family.
Maybe you could tell her how you feel when she says such things.. or ask her to think about hwat she's saying before she opens her mouth.
Things are a lot different nowadays.
My MIL criticizes sometimes too...and even worse, cleans AND redecorates my home when I am not there...beat that! Very mean I feel, but I deal. Not sure why...why oh why, all the stress...grr. I promise I will not do this to my children's families. Some people just don't have the sense to keep their mouths shut.