I am trying to stop making statements like, "I pay my bill on time unlike so many other people." This is just an example and would be grossly mistaken in real life but you get the idea. Why do we do this? Why do we make statements that degrade others? Do you feel this is an impediment to true enlightenment?
2006-12-01 14:10:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Please do not be hard on yourself. Just the fact that you realize this is light years above lots of people (christians) I know. Why do I think we do this? It in some way makes us feel better about ourselves. I'll give you an example, I was married for many years to a man who was never happy with anything I did. I was always wrong. I had no esteem at all. After years of therapy, I found that his behavior made him feel better because he was insecure himself. I wish I could say this all had a happy ending but, alas, I divorced him . What I'm trying to say in the simplest of terms is sometimes we all try to make ourselves feel better by making someone else feel worse. Is it horrible? Absolutely! I think we can feel really good about ourselves by being kind and giving. I do that (not all the time, I'm not a saint) but I work really hard at it and when the day is done I feel better being kind than being hard on others. I hope this makes sense and I do believe you are well on your way because you are questioning. You are aware! God Bless your kind heart!!!
2006-12-01 14:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by kelly m 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think there is some sort of metaphorical law of physics in human psychology. If you want to feel better, you must make someone feel worse.
Of course, you could say that if you make someone feel better, you could feel better too, but saying something like "I never pay my bill on time, why does everyone else?" can make you feel worse.
It comes down to the final result. Making yourself feel good at someone else's expense makes you feel good a little, but you feel bad after time has passed and you've thought about it (guilt perhaps). Making yourself feel bad by praising someone else will ultimately make you feel good in the end too.
2006-12-01 22:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by Give me best answer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with cyberbob's answer that the desire to speak ill of others is due to a lack of self worth. I'm guilty of it, too, and struggle with it daily. It leaves me feeling awaful when I do talk about someone. If you're questioning your behavior, it means you want to be a better person. Hey, maybe we can both find enlightenment.
2006-12-01 22:18:50 · answer #3 · answered by Holly R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they speak ill of other people because they are afraid of seeming and feeling inferior to others. Or it could just be because they are having a bad day and feel like venting, and unfortunately, friends are the unintentional victims. But that's okay. People are forgiving.
2006-12-01 22:53:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a sign of insecurity, I suppose. Difficult to avoid, perhaps, at some times. I have no idea what true enlightenment is, however.
2006-12-01 22:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk for yourself, my dear friend, I never degrade other people. When I don't like someone, I let him know but I never talk bad about people. You only degrade yourself when you do that and when someone starts to talk down somebody I generally interrupt him/her and tell this person I am not interested in these gossips.
2006-12-01 22:15:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mimi 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A self reminder that we do to insure ourselves that we are being a good person, and doing what we are suposed to do - or a pittiful attempt of flaunting ones talents. "Goob job, johnny! you payed the rent, would you like a GOLD STICKER?!". Expect to be rewarded for something you're SUPPOSED to do? I think not.
2006-12-01 22:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by §†reet R¥dA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We degrade others in order to upgrade ourselves... If you don't feel the need to distinguish yourself among others -ambition- you are in the path to enlightenment
2006-12-01 22:13:16 · answer #8 · answered by cyberbob2or12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking only munificently or ignoring altogether people who ARE ill, behaving badly, etc. is a passive-aggressive strategy for effectively marginalizing them.
2006-12-01 22:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by -.- 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps.
but it is a defensive reaction. usually we make statements like this because we feel insecure about ourselves, so we try to build ourselves up by putting others down.
also, its usually true what you say about "them"
but we are in the same catagory as "them" because were all average, unless were scum, or rich scum. then we are worse.
2006-12-01 22:17:50 · answer #10 · answered by sobrien 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋