Like my poem?

Question

No longer My Brother

I remeber when I cherished you
We were in 7th grade
You told me I could trust you
You must have changed
The times I got in trouble
Taking your side
Laughed on the way to the office
We walked in a happy stride
I felt you were a part of me
Loved you like a brother
My best friend
Simply like no other
You invited me to a party
Saturday from 7-10
Told me it would be off the chain
I said I would go then
That night
Rap music blared
Who knew the party was unsupervised
Everyone dancing to the beat like we didn't care
You gave me a drink
First it made me drowsy
Then I fell asleep
When I woke
It was half past 10
It was dark but the door opened
You came in
I asked why you didn't wake me
But you closed the door
Then I knew you plan
Didn't think this would happed before
After you had your fun
I cried
Softly prayed
And asked you why
I will never look at you the same
I hate you like no other
I don't trust you now
No longer my brother

Answer 1

Poem is great
The act is horrendous
I am so sorry

Answer 2

That was pretty good. I've read a lot of poems like that (and worse), but not written that way.

So, did your brother have his way with you or something (asking this from lines: But you closed the door, Then I knew you plan, Didn't think this would happed before, After you had your fun, I cried)?

Answer 3

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not inevitably could rhyme even though it desires to hit my thoughts. i think of readability of expression is substantial besides. i do no longer choose to 2d guess what i'm reading approximately. I continuously seek for what I term "poetic gem stones"in the textual content cloth.

Answer 4

The poem is great. Sorry about what you went through and will still go through. Don't let it bottle up inside you. It will haunt you the rest of your life. Please seek professional help. Something like this can bother you when you don't even realize that's what is bothering you. It gets hard to cope with on your on sometimes. May God be with you dear.

Answer 5

impressive! if you want to fine-tune it i would suggest evening out the metre-

example: That night/rap music blared/who knew the party was unsupervised

those three lines have very different amounts of syllables- i can't really think of a suggestion on what words to put in there, you know the situation better than i do. very deep poem though- nice work =)

Answer 6

Guys that are not your brother are never your "brother", say what you will? I don't know it is a nice thought to ponder, but all in all nope they are what they are. You will know next time not to be so trusting. Hard lesson, but that's the real world.

Answer 7

Wow, the poem was great. Good job. Its kind of scary and freaky though.

Answer 8

Wow that is a good poem. Not good as in about a good topic, but I definately like it. I truely hope that no one raped you. If they did you should seek counseling.

Answer 9

It's nice, but it doesn't really rhyme if that's the kind of poem u wanted it to be

Answer 10

Sounds like you could benifit from counseling before this situation results in permanent mental health problems. Please talk to your school counselor of school social worker.