I went home on leave for thanksgiving last week and decided I was going to reward the former friend of my soon to be ex-wife. She spilled the beans about her affair she had in fall 2005. If it weren't for her, I would have been struggling to work on a marriage that was going nowhere. So I hooked her up with a free trip to cancun for her and one other person, whoever she chooses. She asked me why. I told her that she set me free. I also rewarded the other guy; thanks to his information he gave, i'm not paying alimony. Friends close, enemies closer is my new motto. I got a call from my wife's ex friend earlier this week. She wants me to go with her. Should I take her up on this? It feels strange for some reason or other. This wasn't my intention at all, but she is nice looking and i'll be divorced by that time.
2006-12-01 13:18:10 · 21 answers · asked by Thomas K 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no don't do it. i think that you should just let it be. there is no reason to ever talk to these people again other than you guys harassing each other and making life miserable. she may be doing it to get back at your ex or it may be something they cooked up to get back at you. whatever, its evil and mean and i thought that you just got all of that drama out of your life. its time to move on and away from anything that has to do with your ex.
2006-12-01 13:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Greetings Thomas:)
I am wondering if you have a bit more feelings for your ex wifes friend than you let on and also when she told you of your ex wifes affair I am wondering what motives she had behind telling you, for any true friend would hassle their friend to tell their husband themselves.
I understand your reasons behind rewarding the people that have given you release but I also wonder if she has taken the gift as a show of interest in a possible relationship between the both of you, which would explain why she went to you first with the information she knew.
As for your new motto, keeping enemies closer is a comfort if you know who those enemies are, if you are comfortable and know who's loyalties lie where I'm sure you would do what is in your best interest and I have faith in that, as your divorce proceedings with your soon to be ex shows me that you do look after your own interests.
So my advice is, If you feel like taking a trip that you paid for with a friend then do it, if you feel there could be more to the relationship don't be so quick to jump in too fast as you still are trying to conclude an old relationship.
If you think you can handle another relationship then by all means do it but in the end you are responsible for the consequences.
So take care and hope all goes well Thomas
2006-12-01 13:39:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - nothing good can come of it. She was a friend to your x wife and she told you what your wife was doing, would you want her to run back to your x and tell her everything you are doing with her? She sounds like a manipulative *********! Do you have proof that your x was cheating, could have been a story so she can get to you? Just a lil food for thought!!
There are plenty of nice looking women you can date when your divorce is final. Don't jump into a new realtionship so quickly.
2006-12-01 13:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't take her offer. You will look like a jerk to anyone and everyone. Besides, what kind of a true FRIEND would be so back stabbing? She might have done you a favor, but what if it was just a trick to get you to divorce your wife? Even if it wasn't, there are SO many people in the world. Dating in small circles is like relationship suicide.
2006-12-01 13:50:20 · answer #4 · answered by dizzy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, Its your life, you know inside what your going to do, why ask? unless your feeling a little guilty, of the reality,
Me, id want a doctors OK. Clean bill of health, before I jumped in the sack with anyone. Regardless if they are the old friend of the family. Unless you had something going on before. Wm-mm.?
2006-12-01 13:32:43 · answer #5 · answered by Faith Walker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it probably wouldnt be good that you go. she might end up just being a rebound and you end up hurting her by accident. you might just want to give yourself a little more time. if you like her than maybe you can date casually but you should hold off on the cancun trips until you're serious
2006-12-01 13:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF, I said IF, you are divorced by that time, what would it hurt? But IF she spilled the beans; could it be she's interested in you, also? Something to think about, huh?
2006-12-01 13:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know she didn't spill the beans just so she could be with you? If it feels weird then somethings not right. I'd tell her thanks but enjoy and remove yourself from the circle of your ex and your ex's ex friends.
2006-12-01 17:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by justadream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you, in some strange way, enjoyed the experience you have just lived through, don't take her up on the offer.
2006-12-01 13:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by 1 of 5 Rinkydinks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you are divorced by the time you go on the trip, i think it's ok. but be careful, she may be feeding info to you soon to be ex.
2006-12-01 14:31:59 · answer #10 · answered by Smith Jerrod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋