I am a married woman of 10 years with 3 children. My best friends and i (4 of us) thought it would be fun if we spent a night in a hotel as a Christmas gift to each other. 2 of the girls are leaving in January to go back to their home and we aren't sure when is the next time we will see each other again. So we wanted to have a night where we can just hang out for innocent fun, nothing crazy. I am the only married one. And my husband said it is not natural for a married woman to go away with her friends.
2006-12-01 13:12:17 · 37 answers · asked by leen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you'll be staying in a hotel with guy friends, then that's questionable. But there's nothing wrong if you take a night to get away with a couple of girlfriends. I find that a girls' night out is a little refreshing for my marriage when I come back home. As long as you're completely honest with your husband about where you're going and who you're going with, I hope you feel no guilt about spending a night with your friends.
2006-12-01 13:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by HB 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If in 10 years of taking care of your family and 3 lovely children you have not had a night with your friends...you know the ones that know you the best......you deserve a weekend if not more. The only thing that is not natural is his fear of letting you have some control. Just do it and he will either see how much you enjoyed an innocent night with friends or not get it and make you feel guilty about enjoying life, if you let him...
Just because you are the only married one makes no difference...either he trusts you or he does not.
2006-12-01 13:57:30 · answer #2 · answered by haloperidol4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I am a Christian wife of three kids as well. Adore my husband. I go away once a year with girlfriends. I'm the only married one, too! But my friends would NEVER do anything that would jeopardize that. In fact, we got "crazy" last time by getting all the food, climbing in bed and watching "Dancing with Wolves" not once, but twice. WOW!
I also did the same thing with my SIL once....did the spa treatment and got a hotel. It was fun and a nice way to re-energize.
It's very natural. Maybe you can ask your pastor? Maybe he can calm your husband's fears and let him know that it's completely natural.
Plenty of pastor's wives go away with their friends on shopping trips!
Take care and I hope he can see the light - he can only benefit from you being happy and content and refreshed. And even if he doesn't get one benefit himself, he should do it because he loves and cares about you and your happiness.
2006-12-01 13:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is something you have to talk out with your husband. I'd ask him about his concerns. 10 years is a long time for a man to have his wife in his bed so even though it's only 1 night he'll miss you terribly. If the other women were married, I guess I'd have fewer concerns about your activities. If you do go, I hope you don't go to a bar/club and drink and dance. That would only be inviting trouble. So you can't just spend the whole day and evening together and spend the rest of the night in your own bed.
2006-12-01 13:25:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends. He is absolutely right to raise his concern. Most of the time, when women are doing this, they are getting ready to do something immoral, that often involves cheating on their husband. The fact that the other women are unmarried makes it even higher risk. However, that's just a general pattern. Only you know if you and your friends are like that. If you are not like that than there is nothing wrong with it. The problem is, for most people, the fact that you are doing something like this is a reliable warning sign of something else. If he has even the most basic clue about people and relationships, he knows this and is suspicious. It's your job to earn the trust that gets rid of that suspicion or, if he is right to be suspicious, not to do that.
That has nothing to do with being a christian wife. It has to do with being a wife. It's a basic duty that husbands and wives owe eachother. A person can disagree and choose to do differently. But you can't choose the consequences.
2006-12-01 13:22:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i say GO FOR IT!!!! I have been married for 20 yrs. and a day apart shouldn't be a big deal. Life is too short to miss out on 1 night w/ the girlfriends! After having 3 children to care for,you DESERVE 1 day away! good luck!
2006-12-01 13:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
10 yrs i believe you deserve a vacation and if your husband cant understand that then he's not thinking about your needs 3 children and i bet your the one that does the cooking the cleaning washing everones clothes folding there clothes keeping up with bills and i'm sure much more. Go and have yourself a great time relax...And is he's a Christian himself I cant believe he's being that way..
2006-12-01 13:27:11 · answer #7 · answered by MONICA P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not going to be doing anything that you would not normally do if your husband was looking over your shoulder than there is NOTHING wrong with your plan with your friends. He needs to learn to cope more efficiently with you being a social person, but you do need to guarantee him that you won't be doing anything that would break your vows to him.
Since this gathering is a rare occurrence he can't claim you abandon him. He probably just wants to go have fun too. My husband pouts when I go on vacation with my mother every year.
2006-12-01 13:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For my money, your husband is being a jerk. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Nothing wrong with what you've planned at all. And nothing "un-natural" about it either. Married folks do it all the time. What about a husband who travels for work--or a wife, for that matter. Sounds like a lovely thing to me.
2006-12-01 13:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's ridicuous! What's wrong with staying in a hotel with your friends? And what does being Christian have to do with any of what you said?
Plenty of Christians do none Christian things anyways...
"Yes, Satan is going to come eat your soul because you had some fun with your friends."
I mean really sweety, step out of the middle ages and into the modern world.
Go out, get toasted with your friends....just don't get nakee with anyone your not married to.
There is nothing wrong with fun.
2006-12-01 13:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by hailyx 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋