I have been married for two years now and my husband is not very affectionate at all towards me. I tried to talk to him about it and he says hell be more affectionate but he never is. I even tried not being affectionate myself and I didn't even get kissed. How could I prompt my husband to want to be more affectionate with me? He only wants sex and then to go to bed. I usually comply but it frustrates me to not get any love or hugs or cuddles. please help.
2006-12-01 11:05:42 · 15 answers · asked by victriplett 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
cause we are vacationaing apart for thanksgiving
2006-12-01 12:10:53 · update #1
Tell him that just as he needs sex, you need affection. You want to know your loved and not just an upgrade for a blow up sex doll. Tell him you feel like your just being used as a sex object and nothing more. Tell him how bad it frustrates you. And above all don't give in to him. Make him realize that he needs to give for you to give. Tell him that until he shows he loves you through hugs and kisses that your not going to show how much you love him through sex. I hope it goes well for you. Hopefully you don't become on of the many that have divorced. Good luck.
2006-12-01 11:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by fast_bird94 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough to answer. Some men are really closed up and have a hard time expressing themselves. What was he like before you got married? Be affectionate with him and if he gets aroused let him know that he can have what he wants if you can get what you need. I don't mean that you should use sex as a weapon, because that would cause a lot more problems. I am suggesting that once you have his complete attention, you may be able to persuade him to be a little more loving. Try to make the situation more of a game and less of a threat.
He needs to understand that men and women are a little different when it comes to stuff like that and that it wouldn't hurt him to compromise.
2006-12-01 19:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by GORDO BLAKHART 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, my hubby gets the same way. He is very "one track" minded, if work or finances are on his mind he doesn't even realize he isn't affectionate. If you two have a lot of things going on, or he is carrying a lot of stress -that may be it. Try a weekend away, just the two of you. Maybe a change of environment will help him see what he is missing - loving you! I am sure some will respond "oh he is cheating on you" - but don't assume the worst.
2006-12-01 19:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by Carey L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No Romance = NO SEX.
If he can go for more than a month, just realize that he is seeing someone else on the side, and has been the whole time.
You could always offer to just buy him an inflatable doll,
since that's the way he's treating you. He would probably be more happy that way. And he wouldn't have to deal with any REAL issues.
2006-12-01 19:23:23 · answer #4 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother was the same way and his wife was getting tired of this even to the point where she was ready to find it by someone else so they went to a shrink or a counselor and he told me that he didn't realize that he was like that and he really felt bad for the way he was and Now she is in love with the man that she meet a long time ago they are so happy and this help them so try it.
2006-12-01 19:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by isitreal1963 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men have a really hard time expressing their feelings. I know how you feel and hear this all the time from friends and such--ask him to touch you in bed--actually take his hand and put it on your body and do the same for him--work your way easily with him and keep it up--it may take some time--but maybe he needs that from you to say it is okay to show feelings. Be tender.
2006-12-01 19:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was like this when u first met, then good luck, but if not then the spark just isn't there for him anymore, try and cuddle with him, kiss him occasionally, grab his hand or put your arm around him and see what happens then. Best wishes!:)
2006-12-01 19:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by fox69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How did you used to get his affection before he became your husband? Did marriage really change things like this? Try to remember what was it that you were attracted to in each other in the beginning of your relationship.
2006-12-01 19:10:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling. Your husband may think sex is affection(which it is in a way). So, you have to communicate what you want and need.
2006-12-01 19:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Feel Realgood 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying: Men give love to get sex - women give sex to get love. Does this apply? If he is not getting any sex from you he is getting it somewhere else.
2006-12-01 21:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋