I was having problems with my roommate last night and decided not to come home in order to avoid WWIII.
The only person whom i could stay with (because i had my dog others said no) was an exboyfriend of mine. We are still really good friends. No bad blood at all.
He had some friends in from out of town so the extra room and couches were taken up, people were even sleeping on the floor. So I had to sleep in his bed. He has a california king so I wasn't too worried about it.
I woke up at about 3:00 am this morning naked from the waist down with him inside of me from behind!!!!! He didn't hurt me or anything but when I told him to stop he kept on saying "it's ok, it's ok". It's NOT OK!
He wants to get back together with me and I am not totally opposed to the Idea but I told him that for now I just want to be friends and see what happens. No sex, not even kissing! I am just not ready to go there with him again.
I am 21 he is 24.
DID HE RAPE ME?
2006-12-01 11:02:11 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We were both completely sober! I am just a hard sleeper (no pun intended) that is how i didn't feel him undressing me. He stopped after I was able to push him off.
2006-12-01 11:14:32 · update #1
Got nailed without consent !
In my book that's rape.
Asleep when someone ask if they can do you from behind....and you don't wake up to say no does not mean the door is wide open for penetration.
2006-12-01 11:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you drinking before you went to sleep? Was that why you didn't feel him pulling your clothes off?
When I was 19 I went out with a guy who was older than myself by quite a few years. I had some drinks and when I was feeling woozy he saw his chance. We had been dating for a while and I was considering sex but at the time I wasn't ready. He was stronger so he won. I was so confused and a little ashamed and although I saw him after that it wasn't long before I ended the relationship. It was my biggest regret that I didn't press charges, but I was afraid of all the things that would come from formally charging him. You know, police, the courts the questions everything especially how my family would have reacted. I was raised with my father and we were never on good terms.
Now every time I think about it I feel violated and sad because I didn't stand up for myself.
Dont let that happen to you.
Stand up and let him pay for what he did.
2006-12-01 19:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Carrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you were asleep and did not say yes or no and he was inside you yes that is rape but if you feel that it was not rape and you don't do anything he could do it again. But also you said he did not hurt you, whenever my ex and I stay in the same bed almost every time something consensual happens then we don't bring it up anymore look at it however you wish 2.
He can be prosecuted if you want to go that far.
2006-12-01 19:08:16 · answer #3 · answered by just lil ol' me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anytime you ask someone to stop and they don't, it's Rape! Even if you start off consenting then change your mind and he keeps going, it's Rape! And most importantly, if you are not conscience and someone is inside of you without your knowledge, it's RAPE! Sweetie, if you have a gut feeling about something try and listen to it. We are humans but we are still animals and we have God given instincts, remember to pay attention to them. I know that you have history with your ex but check into the statue of limitations on a rape, it's probably not too late to press charges. Be careful and God Bless.
2006-12-01 22:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by anewdiamond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you consent? No, you couldn't because you were unconscious.
Did he stop when you told him to stop? No. He blew you off and did his own thing anyways.
Did he rape you? YES.
Should you ever go back to him even as a friend? NO! He took advantage of you and will do it again.
Call the police and press charges. He victimized you and he will victimize again, if not to you then someone else. He's a rapist and needs to be stopped NOW!
2006-12-01 19:07:53 · answer #5 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I woke up at about 3:00 am this morning naked from the waist down with him inside of me from behind!!!!! He didn't hurt me or anything but when I told him to stop he kept on saying "it's ok, it's ok". It's NOT OK! "
Sounds like rape to me.
2006-12-01 19:06:44 · answer #6 · answered by angie devine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'm afraid he did. He took advantage of you being asleep and did this act without your permission. Remember that rape is more about power than anything else. The fact that he did this while you were asleep is even worse. You don't need him for a friend anymore.
Here is a definition of acquanitence rape:
Acquaintance Rape
Definition:
Acquaintance assault involves coercive sexual activities that occur against a person's will by means of force, violence, duress, or fear of bodily injury. These sexual activities are imposed upon them by someone they know (a friend, date, acquaintance, etc.).
Key Reminders:
A prior or current relationship or previous acts of intimacy are insufficient indicators of consent.
Verbal consent must be obtained both in each instance of sexual intimacy and as the level of sexual intimacy increases (e.g., moving from kissing to petting, from petting to oral sex, from oral sex to intercourse or anal sex, etc.).
Like other forms of sexual assault, acquaintance assault is motivated by a need to control, humiliate, and harm.
2006-12-01 19:13:45 · answer #7 · answered by A Nony Mouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it happened the exact way you described it then yes, however if you were drinking and or on some kind of mood changer then you might have a harder time proving your case in front of a judge. Moreover YOU must remember that if YOU say NO it means NO. regardless if you are with him or not. Plus I do not think that you should get back with him if he does this to you now what will he do when he gains full control of you when you are his girlfriend. My advice is to keep him out of your life for good.
2006-12-01 19:09:05 · answer #8 · answered by love 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How did he get that far before you woke up? Alcohol, drugs? I don't think it was rape even if you didn't want him to do it. You got into his bed, what was he suppose to think?
I suspect you are going down a road that you will regret sooner than later.
2006-12-01 19:10:05 · answer #9 · answered by plezurgui 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call your local rape crisis center immediately. They are most qualified to help you. If you can't find it in the phone book, call your local police department or sheriff, and ask them to give you the number. They will have it.
2006-12-01 19:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋