Im married and some what happy but,an old flame has come back into my life.A lot of old feelings have come back.I find myself thinking about him a lot and we talk every chance we get. He wants me to leave my husband.I have two kids and have had a lot of ups and downs with my husband , he can be abusive some times .... Please tell me what I should do?
2006-12-01 10:59:06 · 7 answers · asked by patty m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I could be wrong here but u may think u r making a connection with ur old flame because of the troubles u r having in ur current marriage, and u feel comfortable with ur ex.
Please dont cause more problems by cheating. It only makes matters worse, no one deserves 2 be cheated on no matter how bad they are.
U should try 2 work things 0ur with ur hubby but if thats not what u want i think u should leave him b4 starting anything else with this old flame.
Does ur hubby know u r talking with him? what exactly do u 2 talk about?
2006-12-01 12:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by brokensoul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you are finding refuge in this "old flame" and you are in danger of adultery which would be devastating for you, your husband, and the children. I highly advise: #1 stop flirting with disaster. If you ask for it, you will get it. #2 stop running away from your current reality. There is a reason that you left your old flame and married someone else. Ignoring whatever problems you may have in your marriage and simply moving on is not the answer. Problems must be dealt with head on. Identify what is wrong, talk with your husband, and even get professional help if you need to. After all, he is your husband and you have made a commitment. How many times do you want to start over? Remember why you married him in the first place and do the things that you did in the beginning. Rekindle your lovelife aggresively. If your husband is abusive in any way you need to deal with it right away. If by "abusive" you mean that he hits you, then you may need to call the police. I hope that you do not start by throwing things around the house since that would also constitute violence on your part.
Marriages are not perfect because people are not perfect. We are to find common ground in life and work out our differences. I have been married for about 14 years and have argued many times. I have come to realize that most of our arguments did not need to escalate to the violence point and that only selfish people
thrive in abuse. find out what's eating him and what is eating you as well. LIVE AN INTENTIONAL LIFE. BE AGRESSIVE ABOUT WORKING OUT YOUR PROBLEMS. Nothing worth having was ever handed down. It is not shameful to ask for help. Besides, your ex just wants a piece of butt.
Wishing you a good marriage and a blessed life,
Mr. M on "what should I do."
2006-12-01 11:12:26 · answer #2 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times past feelings will always stick with people as they move on in life. However, your problems will only get worse if you leave your family/husband for another guy. Eventually he will not trust you if you cheat on your husband. So, distance yourself and explain to him that it is only fair to you, him and your family that you two remain old acquaintances at this time. Then after several months, when you are around just your husband, you will see more clearly and you will be able to decide if he is not the one for you do to his actions. I don't know what type of abuse or how often, but that is wrong. But it would still be wrong to leave for another guy. If you do leave, leave when there is no other guy involved or around because you will have more respect for yourself and so will other people and future guys that you date.
2006-12-01 11:06:07 · answer #3 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the OLD Flame cause there is a reason he is a flame and he burned out. As for your husband he should got to counseling, and you both should go to marriage counseling if he won't do anything to help the marriage then leave him. Although it would be tough on the kids there parents fighting all the time would be tougher. Good Luck! And think before you act!
~Pisce-Pegasus
2006-12-01 11:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by Pisce-Pegasus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have kids and if you still love your ex, you should have thought about that before marriage to another. Although, I can see how something like this happens, I feel as if you should not cheat. If you want out, Get out! Don't cheat to make yourself happy, though. It will only make you feel guilty in the end. Also, your children will later reseent you for doing this is you were to cheat!!
2006-12-01 11:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by SummerGrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to extinguish that "Old Flame" before quick! He is nothing but BAD NEWS! He'll mess up your marriage, be abusive to you, and then leave you before the water gets hot! Stay with your husband...and quit looking!!
2006-12-01 11:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop talking to him- he is wrong to get himself involved in your marriage and encourage you to destroy your life.
If your marriage is in trouble, get counseling to decide if it can be saved. Don't run off and subject your kids to more chaos with some new lover.
2006-12-01 11:01:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋