I'm 18, in college, but still living with my parents. My friends all tell me that my parents hate me. They are under the impression that I am a bad kid, they think that I drink and do drugs, but i havent and never will. They don't trust me with anything, and they keep taking advantage of me. The don't make me pay rent, but I have to do nearly all the work cook, clean, laundry, dishes, other erands. It just seems like a lot, and when I ask for my brothers to help, they go on about how its my responsibility to get everything done because my brothers are in football. My curfew is 10pm, earlier than it was in HS, and none of my friends are allowed to come to my house.
I would really love to move out, however, I can't afford it, I have a job, but I have to pay for my own schooling. And my parents keep coming up with reason's for me to keep giving them money, saying i owe them for random things. So I can't save anything I make.
I feel like a prisoner, what can I do to get some respect?
2006-12-01 10:56:53 · 6 answers · asked by Bri B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I applied for a grant and got rejected. The only thing I can afford is to go to is a community college, but with my full load its about $2000 a semester with books. They dont have the option of living on campus. I tried moving out with a friend, but my parents wont let me take my furniture with me. Although, it isn't thiers, it's hand me-downs from nieghbors and friends. So they didn't pay for it, but becuase it is in thier house they "own" it. And moving out really isn't an option becuase they are going so far out of thier way to prevent it. And I know that if i move out now, I wont be back for a very long time, and I dont really want to have that relationship with them, they are just making it very difficult.
Also, they have no reason not to trust me, I have never done anything to make them think that I am a bad person, they just expect me to screw up.
2006-12-01 11:13:16 · update #1
O and about the counseling thing, this is a good as it can get, at my school it is a 2 week waiting list for 20 minutes of help, because I live in Orange County and everyone thinks they have problems. And I cant go to a real psychiatrist because I cant afford it and my dad wont clear me to go on his insurance because, that is seen as being weak.
2006-12-01 11:15:57 · update #2
It sounds like a very tough situation. Can you look into an affordable college where you could live on campus, maybe be a resident assistant? Check out Craigslist for roomates. It can sometimes be possible to find a very reasonably priced room. Maybe you can cut your expenses--get rid of your car if you have one--by moving somewhere where you don't need one.
If you are enrolled in college you should have access to a counseling center for free. If you do, go for counseling. The counselor will want you to make and meet your own goals, so they will help a lot.
I lived in a similar circumstance. If you really feel you must go, find a way. I didn't go quickly enough and I have terrible problems with depression now, which turned out to be heriditary and probably contributed to my parents treating me the way they did. Find--and follow--your bliss. It's the only way.
Be glad you have character and a work ethic. No one can take that away from you.
2006-12-01 11:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to apply for student aid. Get some student loans. You may also want to apply for grants or scholarships. Live in or near campus. Start off by talking with a counselor at school. Take advantage of your schools resources. You need to move out. What your parents are doing to you is not healthy. Get out while you still can. You shouldn't be denied your independence.
2006-12-01 19:06:19 · answer #2 · answered by eh! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your parents really need to give you your space. Maybe if you casually sat down and talked to them, they just might respect you more for it. Sounds to me like since the bros are out of the house, it is YOUR job to do everything! Maybe you should take up a sport and show them that it's not YOUR duty to do all the housework just because you're a woman! Tell them, show them, it's what you have to do! They aren't just going to all of a sudden TRUST you, you have to earn that trust by speaking respectfully and forwardly. No immaturity no matter how upset you are, you ARE an adult now, and show them how to act like one, since they seem to be missing something in the maturity department. THEY are your parents, you are not theirs. Help them realize this, and take up something like a sport so you don't get stuck in the house doing all that and you will be able to hang out with your friends once you are out of the house. Hope this helps. :-)
2006-12-01 19:03:52 · answer #3 · answered by sally b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a student loan or even better--a grant that you may qualify for and not have to pay back. Then live in student housing. It sounds like you will be way better off. There is no winning in your present environment. If you are 18, you have rights and you deserve those. If you can't have a logical conversation to convince them, then please try to get a grant and live at college.
2006-12-01 19:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Can you move in with a friend? You'll never get out of there if you stay, if they take all the money you make. Your parents need to learn to do stuff for themselves and not live off you.
2006-12-01 18:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to wait till 21 no other choices they are overprotective which is bad
2006-12-01 19:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by tritran5555(poetri) 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋