my bro is filing for divorce from his wife of 6yrs.He is leaving her for an old gf from college.We just found out(from his wife)he also cheated on her(wife) with a coworker a few yrs ago.We(his family) always knew she wore the pants in the family and could be very nasty to him at times but cheat on her 2x?I asked him if he was so unhappy why did he not leave her sooner and he said he made a commitment to god and her to make it work.We are a very religious family and look down on divorce but isn't cheating worce?He also has a 1yr old child with her that is his world and wanted his son to have a perfect family life so he tryed to make it work for his sons sake.i do know hes very upset over this and is in therapy for it he said he feels like he has failed his son.My question is do you men by this?Can a man be so in love with his child and values to do whats right that he stays in a relalationship that makes him want to commit suicide and make him have to cheat multible times on his wife
2006-12-01 10:40:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You need to just see things as they are and not through the filter of your ideals.
He's not as good as you hope or as bad as you fear. He's just an ordinary man trying to deal with his situation.
2006-12-01 10:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by the Boss 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his wife is getting and has gotten what she deserves. It is a shame that there is a child involved. He should never have stayed with her if she is a control junkie. The answer to your question is yes. A woman that constantly makes a man feel inadequate in different areas of life can make a man turn to other women for compensation, and sympathy. You say he made a commitment to God. OK. Was SHE commited to God as well? It sure don't sound like it. His son is one year old. If he fails him, it will be in the future. He needs to have an attorney, and obtain his paternal rights NOW, so he won't fail his son because of the controlling mother of the child. God will forgive him for what happened! Will you? It's not your life. It's his. We all make mistakes. The best thing he can do is find someone who makes him happy, and who he wants to share the rest of his life with, work on getting a stable environment for when his son is around, and just be a dad to the boy. The boy will need his dad. Not downing the controlling mother will be hard, but will be essential to the child, as she is his mother, and he will love her, also. Things happen. Maybe when the boy is old enough, he can explain what went wrong between him and the boy's mother. But the boy is the most important thing to think about, now! Keeping God in his life will make ALL the difference in the world.
2006-12-01 11:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by Darryl L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is yes. When many people enter into a relationship they make the mistake of putting their own identities off to the side as to make the relationship work. Unfortunately the person soon realizes that their life is no longer their own but has become the life of the relationship and the family. Being that no one can really sacrifice themselves in a way that they are no longer themselves eventually they seek a way out. At first it's suppressing the angers and frustrations then comes the extra-marital affairs to mask the depression and possible suicide to end all the suffering. Fortunately the later will not happen and divorce will settle it out. However it all takes it's toll on everyone involved and there is never really any happy ending.
2006-12-01 10:59:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did not only fail his son he also failed his wife.
Don't know if a controlling wife will make you bad. I do believe it can make you miserable.
Some men like a controlling wife.
It is stated he is a part of a christian family and he is trying to let God work it out.
Dipping your wick where it don't belong will be a difficult thing if he is waiting on God.
Because god is not into those type things.
2006-12-01 11:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by smially 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control freaks on either side is just wrong. She probably drove him nuts and he couldn't deal with it anymore. He's better off without her.
2006-12-01 10:50:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋