I found out about 5 months ago and just can't let it go. He moved 4 hours away for a job and told me he was only interested in making money and I had nothing to worry about. I got pregnant by him a month after he moved( he came to see me on weekends). I found all his profiles and emails, chats with these women. He told them all they had beautiful smiles and were gorgeous and gave them all his yahoo id to chat. Some he called sweetie and buttercup. When I confronted him he got extremely mad and said he did nothing wrong, just talk to people. I said if u just wanted to talk they you dont say you are single and looking for a serious relationship. I keep bringing up the matter when I get mad at him and he tells me to just drop it and he is tired of being accused of cheating. He said he only met one girl and did not have sex w/ any. I am so hurt that he did this the whole time I was pregnant and continued until 3 weeks before our son was born, when he was already moved back here.
2006-12-01 10:34:53 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u are still feeling badly because he is not sorry, and he sees nothing the matter with his behavior. he refuses to even discuss it with u, so u will not forgive or forget until he is sorry for disrespecting u, and hurting u. he isn't showing u he is someone u can trust, infact he is showing u his true character, and he is not giving u anything to trust and forgive. when you confronted him his response was aragant to say the least, as if how dare u confront me. he odviously doesn't see what he is doing, nor does he seem to care.
2006-12-01 12:40:21 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can ever forgive him then he needs to work on building back the trust. You can't trust him right now because he lied and even met one of the girls. You can't be sure that he didn't sleep with the person. Listen I am not going to sit here and tell you to leave the loser cause it isn't that simple. If you can work this out with him then you probably need to go to counseling. I know you didn't say anything about marriage but if that is ever an issue I wouldn't marry him without the counseling first. I know how hard it is to try to let something like this go, my husband of 11 years cheated on me for 10 months with this girl. Take a guess how he met her? It was through an on-line yahoo personal ad. There are some terrible girls out there and they don't care if the guy is married or has a girlfriend or not. I would suggest that you sit down and calmly tell him how bad you are hurt by this. Ask him why he did it? Ask him what he would be thinking if you would have done this. Try to talk to him and see what you can do with this situation. I am sorry this is happening to you cause you have a child involved and that makes it so much harder. Good luck.
2006-12-01 10:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I won't say leave or stay, either. But I will say that the first clue that it is bad is when he blew up because you confronting. You can't get past it because you always bring it up. It is going to tear you up because you will always wonder, check the computer, listen to see what he's doing or try and catch him. It's not healthy. You will suffer and you're a mom now, you need all your wits about you for your child.This is obviously hurting you. Love doesn't hurt. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything. This will stress you and stress hurts physically and mentally. Been there done that. The headaches are from worrying about him. If you don't have the headaches yet, you will because you may forgive but you won't forget unless he is making huge gestures to show you that it was really nothing. I hope you make the decision that is good for you and will let you sleep at night and not worry who he's chatting with, meeting with,or cheating with.
2006-12-01 10:51:31 · answer #3 · answered by betterthanhers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is something that you can't forgive or forget. Why does he need to talk to these other weman when he has you and a baby on the way. It sounds like he can't control himself or resist temptation when you are not around and he doesn't think he will get caught. Unless you will be by his side 24/7 don't stay with someone that thinks that you are not good enough. B/c if he did he wouldn't have been looking. I am sorry you had to deal with that but the only way to forget about it is to forget about him.
2006-12-01 10:43:05 · answer #4 · answered by HappyMama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly ask yourself if you will be able to forgive him for this, because this kind of behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and you deserve better. There is NO excuse - none! - for your boyfriend to be talking to all these women, claiming he is single. You can probably never trust someone like him, because if he takes what he did for granted now, his behavior and dishonesty will probably only get much worse as time goes on. I know it is hard and you want to forgive him, but some behavior is unforgiveable. A liar is a liar. He deceived you and then thought nothing of it. To do those kinds of things in a relationship - while you were pregnant no less - is disgusting.
2006-12-01 10:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by lop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say that your boy friend is NOT going to quit cheating. If he doesn't believe he did anything wrong, it is probably because he has always cheated.
Why should he show any responsibility? It worked with you. You might forgive him and probably should, but put him on the street. You do NOT need a part time lover.
This is basically what is wrong with living together before marriage. You get stuck with raising a child and he has the fun.
2006-12-01 10:44:35 · answer #6 · answered by plezurgui 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a very hard questions to answer. You have a child now together to consider .. . I think the biggest issue here is trust. You need to be able to trust him. However if you do forgive him and can trust him .. it would be healthiest for you to stop bringing it up. Do what you have to to resolve the issue and move on. Don't just let it go if you need resolution. Keep everyone's advice in mind and good luck . .. only you know what your relationship needs. <3
2006-12-01 10:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by niclovesjeremy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you decide to stay with him, you might as well drop the issue. What's the point of bringing it up? You have definite proof that he doesn't intend to be thruthful and faithful; so, now the ball is in your court - do you accept this part of his personality, and choose him as your mate - or do you decide that you cannot put up with such things in a relationship, and leave? If you choose to stay, you have no one but yourself to blame. You have been given very clear facts, and a good warning. You will encounter this situation over and over with him, might as well not get upset over it, otherwise you will be hurt every time.
The biggest mistake would be to assume that he will somehow change - he will not. What you saw was just a tip of the iceberg. Do you *really* want to stick around to see the rest of it?
2006-12-01 10:46:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, what a winner.
He fools around online; gets you pregnant out of wedlock; flirts with other women behind your back while you're gestating, and then gets angry because you confronted him.
Wow.
I'd hold on to a great guy like that.
2006-12-01 10:39:02 · answer #9 · answered by silvercomet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't forgive him 'cause you don't know if he's lying or not, if he truly loved you he could have NEVER chatted no matter what woman or the reason and meet with one of them. You really don't know what he'll do when you guys get stable, of course you have a baby and he can still see it, but I don't think you should really trust this man.
2006-12-01 10:38:17 · answer #10 · answered by Vanessa R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋