A co-worker of mine lost his 3 week old baby. The baby died from heart failure.
I went to the funeral today and hugged him and then hugged his wife and said, "I am so sorry." She said "Thank you for coming, it means so much to us"
I smiled and said "I am glad I could be here for you." Then I looked at all the flowers around us and the casket and said, "Everything looks so beautiful for him."
Afterwards I was thinking maybe I shouldn't have said that because its supposed to be a sad time, not a "beautiful" time. I meant that everything was beautiful for the baby and it showed how much he was loved.
What do you think? Do you think she knew what I meant?
2006-12-01 09:28:22 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
You said exactly the right thing. They wanted everything to look beautiful for their precious baby and they wanted everyone to know how much they loved him. Your remarks were perfect.
2006-12-01 09:32:17 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
For sure she knew what you meant. What you said was really nice - at last, a beautiful funeral was the only thing that could have done to the baby. You shouldn't worry about it.
2006-12-01 09:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anne of Vistula Bank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she would've understood quite well considering they would have given him a beautiful life if he was still alive! I'm sure they were there to pay respects, mourn and celebrate the short little life that he did indeed have! Like all parents they want the best for their children and will do anything and everything to keep them happy and satisfied and I bet while planning his funeral she though of him and what his little eyes could see. I am very sorry to hear about this loss, my condolences for the little angel. What you said wasn't rude in any way..I am sure they appreciated you being there..God bless you!
2006-12-01 10:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by rkonkin226 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother just attended a funeral for a baby girl who was 1 week old. They placed her in a carrier instead of a casket and hung a mobile over her head and that is how they wanted their daughter to be remembered.
2006-12-01 09:46:06 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Metro 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a sad time for those of us who are on earth but if your a Christian like I am then it shouldn't be a sad time. Trust me I know that sounds crazy, but the baby is with God now and will never hurt or see hurt. When a loved one goes to Heaven then it is a very beautiful time though it may not be to us on earth. I'm sure ur friend understood what you ment.
2006-12-01 09:39:38 · answer #5 · answered by jaquiandjoshbeasley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you said something kind and caring. In all honesty, your co-worker probably didn't even process what you said. If my baby had died I would be numb and barely functioning. What she will remember is that you attended the funeral and cared enough to come and support them at this difficult time.
It is always difficult to know what to say. No matter what you say, it is awkward and uncomfortable. You did just fine.
2006-12-01 09:38:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine lost their 2 month old daughter a few years back and I said pretty much the same thing. I asked her a year or so later if that was appropriate and she said it was. Even though it was a really hard time for them, they were greatful to know that others thought they had done a good job remembering their daughter.
I think what you said was very appropriate.
2006-12-01 09:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The funeral was for him..and it was meant to look beautiful for him. It was so his final days here...what you said was just fine. Yes..it is a very sad time...so hard to deal with..but if you believe like I do..that when we pass on..our souls are still here..the baby saw the beauty surrounding him..and it comforted him.
2006-12-01 12:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, she probably won't remember. I can barely remember anything from the day of my Dad's funeral, and I can't even imagine my own child's funeral. It is very very sweet of you to be concerned about it. If she did actually hear what you were saying, I would guarantee she knew what you meant.
2006-12-01 09:51:49 · answer #9 · answered by Corona 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My baby died when he was 3 months old and people said some really stupid things. What you said doesn't seem bad at all. It's stressful going to a baby's funeral even if it's not your child. Don't beat yourself up. It's ok.
2006-12-01 09:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋