I say "borrowed" because maybe a little over a year ago, I lent my friend a jacket for halloween, and because I had two of the same kind, (german army), he assumed I gave it to him when I forgot to ask for it back. From then on I thought it would be too awkward to ask for it back. Finally about 3 days ago my sister explained that it shouldnt be a big deal, and the jacket is mine, so if I want it back I should ask. When I did, however, my friend was angry. He said he wasnt but was dissappointed but I know him better than that. I dont understand how that is dissappointing. I still felt bad later, and I IM'd him about it again. I asked his point of view, feeling I had left the discussion too one-sided. He said he thought I was being self-centered by asking for it back. I didnt say anything to that, but I dont see how asking for my jacket, which I really liked, (army jacket Iv'e had since the boyscouts) is self-centered. If I were in his situation I would give it back no issue.
2006-12-01 09:24:37 · 7 answers · asked by Socrates 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, it is not wrong at all to ask for something back from someone who "borrowed" it from you!
You are 100% right. Too bad he feels bad.....because he's not feeling bad that you are asking for it back, he feels bad that you "rememeberd" to ask for it back. He was hoping to get away with it.
Now he is trying to make you feel bad because actually he is feeling bad for trying to get away with taking your jacket.
Man, this really pisses me off! I lent a friend of mine a blouse and 6 months later I saw she was wearing it again. I said, "Oh there's my blouse" so that night I asked for it back. (of course not right off her back) She actually had the nerve to get mad at me!!!! A few weeks went by and she explained why she got mad....and it was for the very same reason as I explained to you. She was embarassed, caught and mad that she had to give it back because she liked it so much. Well, even though I do not suggest you do this, I ended up for her birthday buying her the same blouse and she was really happy and the only reason I did that was because I felt the same way as you when you asked for your jacket back....I felt bad.
But don't feel bad....you are completely right...give him a few weeks and let him lick his wounds and get over it. If he doesn't...oh well. Because like you said, you would have given it back with no problem. Just goes to show how he was trying to Keep it.
Just remember, you are right!
2006-12-01 09:37:55 · answer #1 · answered by megabites42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with asking for a borrowed thing back. But when dealing with friends, it's not what you say or do but "how" you say or do it.
I suspect you already knew you would have problems getting the "borrowed" jacket back from this friend, that's why you were so apprehensive about asking for it.
I call this dealing with a "prickly personality". Some people, (friends or not) are very defensive and confrontational.
They take certain liberties most of us don't. Like keeping a borrowed CD or never paying back that ten spot.
In this case to create as little conflict as possible when you ask for the borrowed thing back. keep it casual. Here is an example conversation.
YOU: " Hey ( what ever their name is) do you remember that jacket that I loaned you."
FRIEND: "Oh, I thought that was a gift"
YOU: Yeah, right you wish (chuckle, chuckle, smile) Anyway I'm going need that back. It's one of my favorite jackets.
FRIEND: Okay. I'll give it back if you insist.
YOU: "Great, I need it by (give a time) or Good, I'll come by and pick it up (give a time)
.End of discussion and you get your stuff back without your friend going postal.
2006-12-01 09:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by genuine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to give is to buy or give without stipulations to give is forever end no asking back to lend is borrowing. by all means ask man .. ask say by the way last halloween i lent- lent- you a jacket do you have it ..
2006-12-01 09:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's just one of those people who like to receive but not give. even if you forgot to ask for it back, he should've given it to you back. since you didn't ask for it back, he probably was hoping you'd forget about it so he can keep it. he's just disappointed that his plan didn't work. has he ever given you something that belonged to him? i guess not. then why should you? He'll get over it.
2006-12-01 09:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by truth hurts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it shouldnt be an issue if ne thing he should be embarressed that he didnt give it back soonner its totally your place to ask for it back - after all it is ur jacket
2006-12-01 09:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by sniper9802858 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like he just doesn't want to give it back and is trying to make you drop the subject so he can keep it. It's easy if you "borrow" something you give it back!
2006-12-01 09:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tina S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't feel bad it is yours and maybe when you do lend him anything in the future ask for it back as soon as he' is done using it.
2006-12-01 09:28:38 · answer #7 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋