I'm 18, in high school, kind of slowly integrating myself (at least I hope) into one of the more popular groups in school, (which is basically most everybody since our school is so small. So I got a facebook (its like myspace) and one of them helped me get it set up and they seemed so happy and nice that I got one. But then I went and added a lot of people, and got denied by one popular person who graduated last year, and was paranoid they hated me so I deleted it. I was worried they thought I was arrogant. Now they seem more distant, less kind, though I might tend to look for this more because I'm paranoid about it. To be fair they're very nice and accepting, not like sterotypical popular kids, and they're fun to be around. I love spending time with them. And I'm really shy, social anxiety disorder maybe too, and I worry that I come across as unfriendly or an a sshole. Do you think they're mad at me?
2006-12-01 09:12:01 · 19 answers · asked by leena 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You don;t understand THEY'RE NOT BAD PEOPLE, i don;t want to be rude but you're using stereotypes.
2006-12-01 09:18:18 · update #1
Not sure. Just ask them. Communication works every time!
2006-12-01 09:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by Meeeeee! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is hard to answer. So since I cannot honestly address whether they are mad at you or not by what you said, I will address you, because you describe yourself more clearly.
First off, I wouldn't have deleted my page. If she didn't want to be on your list, then so be it. You had others on there that wanted to be on your list and are probably wondering what happened. Why should everyone be punished by this one person. Remember honey, you will never be liked by everyone. And you do not need to be liked by everyone to survive in this world. I have learned, it is better to have two best friends in the whole world, then have a hundred of people who may act like they like you, but they would never be there for you and would actually cause you harm.
Be confident in yourself. Be your own best friend first. I mean, like yourself for who you are. You don;t need to be in a "popular crowd to be happy.
I know, this is easy for me to say because I am 43 years old and have dealt with all those feelings. I too felt that way in high school but I quickly learned who my true friends were and are. Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do, it is perfectly normal. Even your anxiety is perfectly normal. Allow yourself to feel just they way you want. The more you are excepting of yourself the better you will feel. The more confident you will feel.
Put up another page. Put on the people you "really" want on there. When you show this person you can live without their exceptance, believe me, the tables will turn.
Enjoy life. This is the best time of your life. Although times may be hard and confusing, you have so much to learn about life. So enjoy...be happy and feel good about yourself.
2006-12-01 17:25:45 · answer #2 · answered by megabites42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO , I don't think they are mad or anything. Going back to your shy nervous anxiety thing, that used to be me too when I was younger. All of that are effects from more deeper issues from the past that you possibly may not have gotten over. Reading your paragraph I can actually sense how you may be dealing with these issues. And NO you do not convey to them as being unfriendly or an a sshole(as you mentioned) , But trust me they can see how nervous and paranoid you express. I really think looking into therapy or counseling will be a HUGE help. it was for ME. take care. = )
2006-12-01 17:20:21 · answer #3 · answered by chaseki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're worried about the wrong things. You're 18, going to graduate soon! Who cares about popularity? All that goes away once you go to college or enter the work force. No one out here cares who you were friends with in high school. Maybe you should worry more about getting a good resume going and less about having cool friends...especially those who graduated and probably don't even know you.
2006-12-01 17:17:23 · answer #4 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not! I have the same problem, making friends is easy, keeping them is the hard part. I get paranoid and stuff but i always think to myself, "if i don't do it now, I'll regret it when I'm like 70!" I know it's weird but school and your friends seems such a big thing at the moment but, when you leave this school you'll find out who your true friends are!
2006-12-01 17:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by Umvelopy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh they are not even worth the time put in it. The popular kids in my school were never as great friends as the "middle" class. They will be more interested in you if you make like you could really care less about them or their popularity.
2006-12-01 17:15:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sabrina 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your going to be out of school soon enough don't you want to spend your senoir year without having to worry about if popular kids like you though if you relly belive they are great people reopen your face book acount besides when you go to college it will be great for all of the new friends you will meet.
2006-12-01 17:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by anisah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope!! What I think is that you just need to relax and be yourself so people can accept you for who you are and not who you try to be, besides it will make you feel a lot better. Good Luck and take it easy.
2006-12-01 17:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by muneca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I think they didn't really like you to start with. The best thing you can do is find some real friends who will accept you for who you are.
2006-12-01 17:14:48 · answer #9 · answered by MoMo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They shouldnt be but there's a slight chance. They might come off as nice + cool but they proly hold grudges. It wouldn't kill u to ask around tho.
2006-12-01 17:17:29 · answer #10 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋