spent last ten years with her and our two children and her family she left in september just saying she doesnt love me no more having struggle to see kids everthing just gone wrong my world and dreams shattered
2006-12-01 08:51:58 · 23 answers · asked by rabbit18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
grieve for your lost relationship, and that takes time... but concentrate on the kids,dont give up on seeing them! dont rush with your life and one morning you'll wake up, be at peace and ready to move on.......please don't give up, make new dreams....good luck!
2006-12-01 09:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by manda 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am so sorry about what you are dealing with. You first need to get an attorney so there will be no problems with seeing your children. That is the most important thing that needs to be done. You then need to get into contact with good friends who you can turn to. Everyone who goes thru this pain needs to find that friend whom you can call anytime you are having one of those bad days that seem to go on forever. If you can, go on a trip. Preferably somewhere that is warm and you can just sit on a beach with the sun beating down on you. The kind of trip that makes you think about all the things that you quit doing when you were with her but you never understood why. You can decide what you are going to do for you. It is a very hard time but also it can be a time where you now know that you can make some choices for you that were never allowed before. You will be ok and you will smile again. Best of luck
2006-12-01 18:47:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just where you are. I also lost my wife only to another man after 37 years. She was never happy like she should be but hang in there for the children.
The only way to get around this is to look into the future. You now have an opportunity to make you like just the way you want it with no compromise. If that includes another woman you will at least know what you are looking for now.....and what to avoid.
My kids were grown ad had their own family so I didn't have that to deal with but the pain of loss was just as intense.
Your only option now is to look forward. You had a life before her now you have to find it again. A great analogy I think is.....if you spend your life looking in the rear view mirror what is up in front of you will surely do you in.
It will take time to get over her. But the more you look forward the less you will want to look back.
I am married again.....my ex-wife lives alone. It is as if it were meant to be. Your world and your dreams can still be there but only if you re-align your idea of what they are.
You can do it....so many others have.
2006-12-01 17:05:06 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband had a similar experience with his ex, it takes time to build yourself up again, it is hard to accept that someone you love so much, has no love for you anymore, don't give up, you still have rights to see the children, and they will look forward to that contact with you, if things get rough for you emotionally, speak to a close friend, or sibling. There is always a reson to keep going, I won't promise that you will find someone else and feel exactly the same way about her, but you may find someone else with whom love will slowly grow and blossom. Have you thought about a solicitor to help with visitation rights, and please think on, I know things are rough, but just because one person is no longer in you life doesn't mean that others don't care, speak to someone, Yellow pages have a list of numbers for C.A.L.L which is the Community Advice and Listening Line, try every avenue before you try to give up!
Good Luck
2006-12-01 17:07:31 · answer #4 · answered by seaman01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot can happen in ten years.Take it easy for a while, and if you find someone else dont rush it so fast, the children always come first. After a while you may get over it or not it just takes some time.
2006-12-01 16:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by lovefergieangel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man....join the 'hurting' club. It is happening to everyone out there and if you have tried unsuccessfully to reconsile with her then, you better start working on the fact that, life has to go on, so move on, may be hard at first but, start now and it will gradually get better. I just hope your wife is not one of those nasty ones that will give you hell with everything you ask her for. My advise, keep your cool, you have children who are the meat between the sandwich, who will observe what's going on all around them and one day, your wife's actions may backfire onto her and the kids will turn to your favour. Good luck mate.
2006-12-01 17:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by BFCP 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing for you right now is to seek from the court visitation rights with your children. That's your first priority...concentrating on your children. Take some time to be alone and try to understand what went wrong in your marriage to make her leave. Go out with your guyfriends and have fun. In time you'll meet someone you'll care about.
2006-12-01 17:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by Raven 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't dwell on the break up, just keep your mind of the 2 best things that came out of your relationship...your kids!, if need be start court proceedings now to secure regular access.
Take each day at a time, there is someone out there waiting for you, keep you chin up :)
2006-12-01 17:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by debs1701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let depression get you, change your habits, call old buddies and friends, go out there (don't lock yourself at home, see some sunshine, trees, sea,sky), think of all those nice things you wanted to do ,but never got time for and mostly LOVE YOURSELF- recall what it was like to be on you own priority list again and soon, you'll see, love will come to thee. Hope you find your way quickly...soon!
2006-12-01 16:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by wafwafmata 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my life fell apart 3 years ago. it seemed like the end of everything. I functioned like a zombie. Try and remember the person you were before you were married .What things did you enjoy ,hobbies etc....What makes you laugh ??? be kind to yourself and do something nice for yourself every day. I promise you its not for ever . concentrate on being the best dad you can be.give yourself space and tome. Remember you are not alone and your human. Good luck!!!
2006-12-01 17:24:04 · answer #10 · answered by hammy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
welcome to the jungle ...as axel would sing about- you join the gym go where the heartbroken people go.. singles places.. support groups keep busy in work know that before your wife and kids you was an individual with goals and a life oh yea remember? if it wasnt going anywhere then then change and re live it now.. do something..give your life a new one. all you can do.. hanging on wont make it go back to the way it was.. go forth with a new venture and new goals be yourself for yourself..
2006-12-01 16:55:39 · answer #11 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋