My girlfriend & I are going back to her home town for Christmas and her ex (who is still a friend of hers) wants to see her and meet me. My first question is: should I agree to meet her? And my 2nd question is: If she wants to spend time with my girlfriend alone, should i be okay with that?
In the past, i havent been too comfortable with the ex seeing that she was my girlfriends first love AND because a yr ago the ex proposed an offer to my girlfriend in attempts to get her back. Sooo, she's already crossed a line with me. But, i dont want to come off as completely selfish or overly jealous. Im confused. What should i do?
2006-12-01 08:48:13 · 8 answers · asked by Raynebow_Diva 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
yes meet the ex. your girl going to see her don't matter want. go be respect full hold your head up. what ever you do you make it clear with your girl your going to meet her and when its time to leave from there visit the ex you and girl leave together. there's no you leaving and your girl catch up with you later bullshit. your girl has to show you respect first not the other way around. and that ex of hers have no right to want to spend time with your girl alone and your girl should know better then to do something like that. no its not okay that they be alone. her life is with you now.
2006-12-01 09:00:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of this situation before (but with gay men). My suggestion is to meet with the woman so everyone can get it out of their system -- the big "meeting" will be over with.
Allowing your girlfriend to meet her former lover alone? That's your girlfriend's business, quite frankly, but she should always tell you about it.
In a perfect world, relationships would end and that would be that. But that doesn't always happen in the real world. Sometimes relationships gradually fade away or they turn into something else -- like close or casual friendships. My overall suggestion is to trust your girlfriend, accept the fact that some emotional connections are still present in her former relationship, but at the same time, monitor the situation.
2006-12-01 19:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to be confused the answer to your questions are easy their both the same; No. If your girlfriend doesn't like that answer then that should tip you off that your girlfriend has ulterior motives of which can only lead to you getting hurt, it also indicates that she still has emotional attachment to her ex which doesn't bode well for you either and as far as her ex wanting to meet you, I'd guess it's a manipulation tactic to get next to your girlfriend under the disguise of friendship.
You know if you put cake in front of a person that loves cake their probably going to eat the cake (hum-mm), and finally what does Ex. mean? does it mean until we meet again?, or does it mean didn't work out, we broke up, got over it and moved on to a better life with You!
2006-12-01 17:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by starrockatear 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that she is trying to get your woman back should tell you something. She wants to meet you to size you up. Her past attempts didn't work so now she wants to see what YOU have that she doesn't. Then she'll figure out a new plan of attack. NO do NOT allow them to meet with out you there and when you go back home, make sure the ex is not trying to contact your gf. I'm betting that she WILL!
2006-12-03 22:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should totally meet her, because there should be no hard feelings, or insequrities in your relationship. You dont wanna give anyone a reason to think that you are insecure because you dont wanna meet your girlfriends ex. If your girlfriend wants to be alone with her, then tell her that youre uncomfortable with it, but tell her you dont want to restrict her, or put her on a leash. If she spends time with her x, and something goes down, then at least it better to find out she's not the one sooner rather than later.
2006-12-01 18:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by kingsprincess90 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay if their is nothing to hide It's best for you to me the EX. The thing that you are right to worry about it the Ex's intentions. You anre you gf's present and future so you are the priority in her life. The alone with an ex fiancee thing, nah don't allow it. Anything need to be said or shared can been done in your presence. No need for Jealousy. Your the one being envied. It's Christmas a festive time for the two of you... Be festive. Be you and anything your uncomfortable with be clear with your girl about. It's a couple not a triangle and remind her of that.
2006-12-01 17:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by Dy$e 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough call and a tough situation. I udnerstand why you don't want to seem overly sensitive, but you do have some cause. But honestly, only one way I can see for you to play this if you are back in town with them. You can meet the old flame, but no private little get togethers for her and this old girl. Not necessary. Why? So compromise. You will see the old lover and be as cheerful as can be. But that's as far as it goes.
2006-12-01 16:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Isis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, in fact you should insist that if youre GF sees her at all, ever, that you be present.
If she balks, just ask her how she would feel if the tables were turned.
This person has already shown they don't consider your relationship as a barrier to trying to rekindle the old one, so that lack of respect for you, and for committed relationships has already been demostracted.
In other words, she's not to be trusted, so don't let your GF insist that you be trusting about this. There's no upside to it.
2006-12-01 16:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by dork 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋